To think 2 is easier than 1?

I found having 2 easier than one. Because they have someone to play with and interact with. There is a difficult time when they are newborn if the elder child is under 2.

@i'm glad @ShadowPuppets

There are some time savings with 2. From y7 onwards, I never had to help DD2 with her homework because DD1 always did that. Even in the 6th form, thanks to technology (screen sharing etc), DD1 could still help from uni. DD1 has a very kind and patient nature, which obviously helps.

Meals were difficult when they were younger because they each only liked about 10 Ingredients and there was little overlap. They did grow out of this - eventually.

Now, they go out together- shopping, meals, cinema, gym etc. They really are best friends.

You’ll get a lot of “you’ve got your hands full”. And “double trouble!” shouted at you. (From this twin mum’s experience!)

Typos sorry I'm tired!

I'm going from 1-3.
DS is 3. All I get is 'oh you wait, you'll have your hand full' 'rather you than me'

Yeah me too. I'm glad it's me not you because your if ignorant stupid comments don't help. Rant over 😃.

Depends on lots of factors, mainly the age gap. I had my second when my first was just turned 4, he's been a great help fetching nappies etc and now they're a bit older I can trust him to keep an eye while I nip to the loo and he'll shout if there's an imminent disaster. I definitely felt the pressure of being focused on one and always feeling bad about him being lonely and trying to keep him in company and so on.

As the person who posted above you this gives me hope! Everyone tells me 2 (especially close together) is so worth it as time goes on. I had that moment of almost falling asleep last week with the toddler keeping me awake. Thank you for posting, it’s stuff like this that reminds me it isn’t forever.

I was quite concerned when people said two were really difficult to cope with. The reality has been much, much easier than I anticipated. I've enjoyed this maternity leave much more... I think this is partly because I can have a conversation with my older child and the companionship is different to that of having just a baby... it's a less lonely experience being on maternity leave second time around!

I had a 'high maintenance' first baby (the definition of 'velcro baby' and would still wake several times a night at 12 months) and an 'average' second baby (wakes only a couple of times a night at 12 months old and is more independent, doesn't need to be in the sling all the time). I might have felt differently if the personalities had been the other way around... but I suppose I'll never know!

There are so many variables.

Mine are 24 months apart. DD2 was a bad sleeper. DP did not believe in doing childcare. I was knackered. I can remember falling into a deep sleep in a chair with baby DD2 in my lap. Toddler DD1 was yelling at me to wake up. I heard nothing. It would have been sooooo much easier to just stick with the one child. However no regrets, they are young adults now and great friends.

I have a 25 month old and a 5 month old and I feel broken atm if I’m honest. The baby just wants to feed and contact nap and the toddler is tantruming over any little thing - although as a toddler she’s a million miles easier than as a baby. I just think I’m not well suited to babies tbh, I can’t cope with the constant anxiety about when they’re going to start screaming (fuck you anyone who told me having a high needs first baby meant my second would be super chilled. Both of them have spent the first few months of their life screaming like banshees the second you’re not holding them).

BUT - and this is a big but - the older one was a dream after the first 6 months. As soon as she could sit up, eat food, move about, the relentless screaming stopped and she was sunny as all get out. So knowing this bit does end helps.

i think my take would be that baby one is a life shock and baby 2 is exhaustion. At least when baby 1 was sleeping badly and could only be held I’d just sit in bed watching Netflix and feeding - not an option when you have an active toddler too. I know I’ll get my life back but right now I feel like I’m working 20 hours a day, every day, since the moment #2 was born (and the 4 hours I’m not are the hours I sleep, in two two hour bursts from 10 - 12 and 2 - 4). But I know it gets better, I suppose that helps. I’m just exhausted.

I have no intention of finding out. I am one and done!

Oh yeah, the touched out thing is another good point. I feel sorry for my husband as often, once both DC are in bed all I want to do is sleep or have a bath by myself. DH doesn't get a look-in and a couple of times I've had to stop myself from flinching if he tries to give me a cuddle 😳

It's easing up a bit now that I've started combi-feeding the baby so no longer breastfeeding all day long. I never felt like this with just one baby though.

YABVU OP!

The baby side second time round was a doddle, DS2 wasn’t even an easy baby but I just knew what I was doing, relaxed etc.

DS1 is 3 years older, I found it got harder once they reached 5 and 2, and harder again now they’re 6 and 3. They fight, DS2 is very unreasonable and DS1 is a wind up merchant. They didn’t fight when they were 4 and 1, or 3 and a baby. In fact DS1 adored DS2 at those ages.

I’m hoping it might get easier once DS2 is at a more reasonable age…

Weird @8989redballoons my DC are the exact same age, ha

I found it so hard at first, we have a really good routine with DD1 and always have as we just had her to concentrate on, she was a really chilled baby and was happy to play by herself before DD2 came along. DD2 is a whole different ballgame, she requires constant attention and will happily let out a high pitched scream if you aren't looking at or talking to her for 0.2 seconds, she won't just lay on her playmat or sit somewhere whilst I get something done so when I have them both at home, I just never stop. We are in a routine now so it seems easier than it was but I do still think 'wow, what the hell have I done' sometimes. I find it a bit overwhelming and touched out sometimes because I always have either one or both of the kids on me and I don't seem to ever have any personal space

I have a baby (5 months) and toddler (2y 9 months).

I think I'm probably finding it easier now than when I had just a 5 month old. I think that's because I'm more confident as a parent, and less bothered if someone misses a nap or throws a ridiculous tantrum or comes down with a cold etc.

Also, when I had just a 5 month old we were in the first lockdown and not having any escape from the baby or any other babies to compare him to made me pretty anxious. OP, our DC are similar ages, maybe that's a factor for you as well?

That said, today my husband took the baby out for a few hours and oh my god it was so easy being just me and the toddler. We played in the garden for a bit, had lunch together and then I put him down for a nap, tidied up and put my feet up for half an hour. When I have both of them I never get a break like that and playing and eating take much longer as both need entertaining and both want my attention 100% of the time in very different ways.

Hoping it will get easier again as they get a bit older and hopefully can entertain each other sometimes.

Oh my goodness yes. I’ve got three and going out with one feels akin to a spa day.

18 month age gap. When Ds2 was a baby I was pretty easy tbh..they're 5 and 7 now, abd we've had some tough tines . They do play nicely, but they also wind each other up to hyper levels, fights, argue, annoy each other on purpose. So e days I can't take 2 steps away before they start.

I'm a single parent (always have been), mine are now 11 and 5. 100% easier with two.

Some stuff is circumstance (no mental space left to give myself a hard time, plus various reflections on age gaps - and whilst 6 years is not a popular gap on these threads, I've found every stage so far really doable and pleasant), some is specific to the child (DC1 was v high needs from birth, DC2 was gratifyingly easygoing from birth, and basically reassured me that I'm not a failingly neurotic parent who broke my firstborn).

They play together a lot. I am a better referee than primary playmate!

We trundle along really nicely as a household of 3. Going from 1 to 2 was an adjustment for me, going from 2 to 3 was an adjustment for DC1, but we're all good for each other now I think.

DC2 is due when DC1 will be 2y 3m. Posts like yours make me feel less scared, thank you OP.

Exactly and they argue back!!

I think 2 is harder, because when I take one out it always feels easier! Less to remember, easier to chat, no fighting! However, as a pp said I think long term 1 would in some ways be more difficult as then they don’t have a companion to play with - so a parent needs to step up more.

I've got three and to be honest, I find that easier than one. Mine are 2, 5 and 7 and the older two pretty much entertain each other, I very rarely have to provide them with an activity to do as they just make up their own games and also listen to each other's interminably boring stories! The younger one is still a bit little to join in but having another pair of hands is helpful - I can ask my seven year old to pass me the wipes or whatever or keep an eye on her for a second while I go to the loo.

If I ever have one child on their own I find it easier in some ways but more boring and intense in others. I like having a bit of a gang and I feel more able to be their 'mum' rather than just a bigger friend.

I don't like the intensity of one on one interactions in general actually - the hairdressers, taxi rides, a drink with one friend (even a good one) etc are things that I dread. Maybe that's something to do with it?

Not for expenses admittedly, but the volume means it is always going, I honestly find it easier having everything on the go.

I have 4 and my sister says it’s easier than having one 🤦🏻🤣

I couldn't agree more with this... ive got 2 and its so much easier than just the 1.... when I've said it out loud before hardly anyone understood.... so glad it's not just me ....