Entitled attitude: grandparents must provide childcare

The thing is though, everyone saying why did you have children if you can't afford it or need help...and it seems like there's Alot...if those children weren't born the country would be fucked. No one to work, no tax being raised.
Yes looking after children is hardwork for grandparents but it is short term in the grand scheme of things.
State pension age 67? No, you'd be working until you were dead cause no one else is around to do it.

I'll be in this position. Sending u hugs. A lot of this is unseen/unspoken!!!
Xxx

Just took it from a PP on page 1 where someone said a grandparent had been pressured to give up their part time job to provide childcare. I’m assuming they were retired and thus taking a pension so not ‘ending up in poverty’

my point was the grandparents that don’t wish to provide childcare do seem to be the ones that aren’t particularly involved.

im only in my 30s now but knowing how I struggled I wouldn’t want to put my kids through that, so would absolutely help out with childcare if able. But choice and all that.

And childcare tax credits were very much about getting mothers to work who were poor and could not afford to work.

Well part of the increase in women working is because we can't retire as early, those 7 years make a difference.

Your DP's GM was an exception or she lived somewhere with cheap housing as every couple I knew in the 70s who had mortgages had two parents working. I knew one mum who didn't work and she lived in a council house with a very low rent.

We couldn't afford two kids and a mortgage in the 70s without me working and my husband was in a managerial post. Even with me working it was tight, like the year I sold my engagement ring to buy sports kits for my sport mad sons.

@Cheeselog It was not necessarily about having money. Childcare then rarely existed because there was no childcare tax credit. So if you had no family to get free care, then many could not afford to work. My parents were really poor but my mum did not work until we all went to school because any care would have been as much or more than her wages. That was common. And forget about any childcare for disabled children, if you had disabled children you were providing all the care yourself.
Even playgroups would not accept children not toilet trained. So if you wanted to work even very part-time, your child had to be toilet trained.

Yes, but 52% this will not be anywhere near a true reflection as a huge number of women in 1971 were not paid through PAYE.

Can't tell you how lucky you are. Count your blessings ! Xx

in no way do i expect regular childcare, but I do resent that my parents won’t help at all with one off childcare. For example, I went into hospital alone to have my second baby while my husband looked after the eldest. Neither of my parents work, they just don’t want to. I do resent that I had to give birth alone because they don’t want to help me

Please can you explain how you think is the case.
My DM had 3 part time jobs &DD work full time if they were still alive now and retired how is them saying they ddo not want to look after my DCs which I have chosen to have with , have anything to do with the world my m&d created .
Its me and my H that createt the DC,s not my parents.
They have done their bit by bringing me and my siblings up , they did not sign on for more work in their 60 /70s

Why would gparents not want to be involved?

Neither side of my DS are and it cuts deep. We both work for obvious financial reasons. We hire a sitter now and then but it's hard going with zero family help with infants.

It is, imo, also v difficult to fill the role of gparents. I had a good relationship with my own and they gave me love, security and a view of the world that was different to my parent's.

Society has changed and I will be there for my DS if he has kids, as I know how bloody hard it is without

Someone giving up their job to provide care usually means they end up in poverty.

You can ask, but shouldn't expect. It's one thing to see your grandkids for a couple of hours on a Saturday and play with them, it's quite another to be tied however many days for however many hours every week.

People do need to think about these things before they have kids though.

Amen

A slim majority yes. I can’t even imagine a world in which almost half of women can afford not to work. Most women I know can’t even afford to work part time. Nursery full time from 6 months is the norm, paid with a loan if need be. Meanwhile DP’s GM bought a semi and raised 4 kids in the 1970s on a single factory worker’s income. We can can’t afford two children as a civil servant and scientist.

She could say no

I work full time and will do so until I am in my late sixties. I will not be providing full-time childcare at 69 years plus.

True

Doesn't mean they all have children now.

There was a grandmother at my dcs school who did all the school runs for her two gc and holiday childcare. She didn't seem to mind this too much but she was fuming when her daughter had another baby and instead of just doing the school run, she now had a baby/toddler to look after all day too. So incredibly selfish imo of the mother to have another child in that situation.

Yes I remember the desperation when there was overtime, the officers who would volunteer to work Christmas Day because they needed the money more than the time with their kids.

For some reason that all seems forgotten.

Doesn't mean they all had children

You've obviously never heard of the influence of peers and society on a person's behaviour or even understand the concept of free will. With respect...you are deluded.

I've read some bollocks on here but this is peak bollocks.

My mum did say recently that her generation is the first to juggle elderly parents and looking after grandchildren.
Although I didn't mind either way if they took my son, it's actually more of a faff to get him to their house rather than nursery but it does build their relationship. It's more my mum telling me I have my son in nursery too much but not offering to have him more. So just said to me to make me feel bad.

My parents used my grandparents a lot though. In fact I even lived with them for a year. But my parents would balk at that idea (not that I'd suggest it) but I think it shows they are always just "take, take, take" kind of people.