Entitled attitude: grandparents must provide childcare

Grandparents are adults - they can say no.

I am so sorry to hear this.

Partly, plus rising house prices and mortgages.
But in the seventies take aways were rare, loads of children and teenagers had never eaten out in a restaurant or cafe, people had far fewer clothes and possessions. So a mixture of things.

This is a completely different time that young couples are living in. When I was newly married my mortgage was 12 - 15 percent. Mortgages now are a much lower rate of interest.
Not many young couples had one car never mind two. Very few people went abroad for holidays when not long married
Often, we started in very small flats.
Years later I became a grandparent.
It seemed that the mothers worked, and the fathers rarely did if ever.
It seems strange but I was required to babysit to accommodate the working mother. Apparently male partners were not to be expected to mind children.
I also did school runs, housework while babysitting. I also was a source of money.
One day I was told that DGC would be dropped off but I would not be spoken to! This made me think. I realised that I had not had a proper conversation with any of the parents of DGC for years. It was all about times of drop off or pick ups. I was just useful
I am a real person, not just their servant. I would happy have carried on babysitting day and night if I had been shown a little adult interaction.

I dont babysit now and in return I do not get to see DGC which confirms that I was not really a proper person to the DGC parents.
It was just use and abuse.

My point is - I often read that families need two wages - but is that due to a rising expectation of how we live?

nope

I Work full time and will be doing so for another 14 years, assuming state pension age is still 67 by then. I pay tax and national insurance for services many of which I don't use, and claim nothing, so arguably, if you have a young family, I am currently subsidising you. Which is as it should be.
I commute by train at my own expense and will recieve the same help with fuel as anybody else. If I require nursing care then any assets I have will go towards funding it. As they should.
Oh, and i also look after my grandchildren whenever I am able to, including using AL for the purpose, but because I want to, not because I should.

So, I ask again, what do you think I should be giving?

I don't know about entitled but my gps helped my parents & they now help me. I'm not English but it's normal in our culture for families to help each other out.

Wtaf????

Yes, I don't want to live in a flat thanks very much. I want a lovely big family home and so to pay for that we need to wages.

We were very lucky in the first three years of my LO’s life in that we had two granny’s willing to help out as much as they could. Unfortunately they both passed when LO was 3, and although she has two grandads still neither are able to provide any childcare.

It was a big change and it’s a bit of a logistical nightmare in terms of work as LOs dad works full time. Thankfully I have found very flexible work where I’m able to be available as and when I can, but am aware how lucky I am in that aspect too.

Whilst I don’t think anyone should be expected to do anything they don’t want I am aware more than ever that the ‘it takes a village’ attitude is not only true but also missing hugely in our society in general. And that is down to a myriad of things which would really need resolving from the bottom up.

This is outrageous. My children are grown up and l do not have grandchildren yet but, when they were little, I stayed at home with them, teaching one afternoon a week after school while my parents looked after them. They volunteered for this and l certainly would not have expected any more. Many, if not most of my contemporaries did the same thing (nineties). There were times when we were extremely short of money and did not have the material goods that are taken for granted today. It was a sacrifice we wanted in order to bring up our children. I feel we have played our part. If l am ever lucky enough to have to have grandchildren, l will want to spend time with them and look after them from time to time. I will not want to look after them full time. I will be in my sixties by then and will simply not have the energy l had when I was younger. I have also worked hard all my life including, yes, bringing up my children and l think l deserve to have time as l get older to pick and choose what I do with that time.

BadNomad agree

Why would “they” (the authors of three separate studies from separate institutions) want that answer? And how would studies that have cherry picked facts get through peer review and be published in academic journals, and then published again by respected media outlets?

Have you published yourself or seen other economists or scientists publish rebuttals to these studies? If not then what are you basing your assertion that the studies are full of cherry picked data and have predrawn biased conclusions on?

The studies may not echo your personal experience, but that’s the case for plenty of studies. They look at the totality of peoples experiences and draw conclusions based on the majority or those experiences, not the minority. There will be plenty of boomers whose kids are better off than them, but these studies show that’s not the case for the majority.

😮

It’s their job to sort their care later in life but the ‘elderly parents’ board will tell you otherwise.

@Dotjones
Truly the most cuntish thing I've read in a very long time.
Do you not understand how families work?
Are you on some sort of mind altering substance?

Do you live in Little Trivet where everyone in the village knows everyone and lives there until they die?

Christ a-fucking-live!!!

Not getting the rest of the country to subsidise fuel, buses and nursing care?

I'm a grandparent. I'm really interested to hear what you think I've done to create a society which requires two parents to be working? And in what way you think I should be 'giving back to the system?'

I don't see why that means you need to rely on GPs. You should always assume they won't. They could die, then what? It's your job as a parent to sort out childcare. If you have twins when only expected one, you just have to deal with it, don't you? I don't have GPs to rely on, if I had twins i'd either have to abort or sort something myself with DP

It’s rarely like that though. Imagine budgeting for one baby and having twins. Or being made redundant after they’re born. Or having a child with special needs.

It’s about as realistic as saying ‘people shouldn’t get old if they don’t want to splash out on their nursing care’.

Who can afford for you to stay home

Work different shifts so one parent always at home

If none of that will work then you can't really afford kids

Children's are an absolute blessing..

Not everyone can have them and if I am blessed and lucky enough to have some , I hope I can support my own DC in anyway I can with them because it's gruelling hard work.

However within reason of what I could do at that age.
There are many variables that come into it.
If you get on with your adult children and have access to the GC and all roughly get on ,what a blessing.
However...many people are not fond of DC , are too old ,poor , frail, worried... don't like their children.

One of the saddest things in my life is my DC don't have good gp.
It's such a loss.

You think it's reasonable to have children you can't afford? Pay for their childcare. It's what people who don't have family to rely on do.

If You don't rely on grandparents there are options:

• Pay for childcare
• Have a partner who can afford for y

😂😂

Best thing I've read on here for a while.

I think women not working, unless middle or upper class, is a myth. Women didn’t have careers after they had children, but they had jobs. Cleaning, ironing, jobs that fitted in round the kids at school.

The main difference was no contracts, no sick or holiday pay and no legislation protecting them. There is no generation in my family where there’s been a blanket “women didn’t work”.