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AIBU?

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Original poster

Colleague taking the piss….

291 replies

Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:16

I work in a team alongside a colleague, we do the same job, we are on a small team in a public services workplace - don’t want to be too outing. We are able to work from home but also have an office base and we do work in the community, around the area of our office base.
This colleague has small children, she doesn’t have childcare in place consistently, she seems to be working her job around her childcare needs rather than pay for the right amount of childcare (money isn’t an issue, think expensive car, large house etc). She also travels from home to work in her work time so that she can be at home at the times she needs for her childcare, without making up the 1.5ish hours this takes her each day. The rest of the team are working really hard, extra hours, lots of stress about getting through the workload, she is breezing along with a much lighter workload and therefore managing to continue to be at home whenever she needs to for her children. It is driving me crazy, I am so pissed off that the rest of the team including myself are working so hard and she is taking the absolute piss. I know different people have different work ethics but I feel this is really out of order. It’s also causing lots of negativity in the team with people feeling so cross.
This has been going on about a year, but is getting worse. I need advice, how would you deal with this, our manager doesn’t seem to be interested as the teams work is getting done.
YABU - you should just get on with it and not get involved.
YANBU - this is a piss take and you should do something to try and get the workload more even. Thanks for any views…I’m that worked up about it I can’t think straight….😊

OP posts:
thefirstmrsrochester · 01/09/2022 21:12

@Snoozer11 dogs, especially young dogs as the lockdown puppies will now be, should not be left all day. My point being is that hybrid working facilitates those who choose to abuse it the flexibility to do the school runs, after school care and dog walking, thus saving money on childcare, dog daycare/walking service and on fuel/travel costs. Nothing to do with a puppy snoring under a desk during a teams call.

Flossiemoss · 01/09/2022 21:10

I’ve had a colleague like this … her most memorable moment was not being available on her day in as the car needed an mot . Could only be done that day. She worked 2 days a week!

anyway - there is nothing you can do about the colleague. But you can moan to your boss about your workload if it’s heavy and your finishing late all the time. For it to be effective the rest of your colleagues should do the same. Also try to push back with workload if it isn’t achievable in the time you have. Public services have run on good will and claps for far too long . The alternative viewpoint is you r colleague takes no shot and is doing the amount of work she is actually paid for?

Queenie6655 · 01/09/2022 21:09

I worked with someone who did all pick ups drop offs
Was on work mode then every night from 9 to midnight to cover for the hour or two she missed that day
So we never really know

Some people def do take the fcking piss

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 21:08

I can get a BMW on lease for £300 a month. Wraparound childcare for my kids was £700 a month.

Another good point.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/09/2022 21:07

thefirstmrsrochester · 01/09/2022 20:52

Yep. Hybrid working policies taken advantage of by some for savings on childcare and also care for lockdown dogs.

Show quote history

100% this. We have one like this, blatant piss taker. She admitted (when drunk) that she’s cancelled her Childminder and lies that her toddler is with her (childminder) during the day. The worst thing is when the rest of the team have to pick up her difficult customer calls as she has a toddler yelling in the background.
Actually that’s not the worst thing, that’s her Uncle being the Finance Manager so nobody will do a thing about it.

Queenie6655 · 01/09/2022 21:07

Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:46

There have been loads of times where it’s blatant she not working when she should be, eg collecting kids, has the kids (3) in the background on meetings, misses things early in the morning at school run times, she doesn’t even try and hide it sometimes, so I appreciate I may not know every little thing she does in her day but I 100% know she’s not working her hours.

I worked with someone like this

She made her way to the senior leadership team and earned sooo much each month
She bragged openly about how flexible she was and how work would never get her stressed out

Just became the norm
Really effing pissed me off

carefullycourageous · 01/09/2022 21:07

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 21:05

Are you sure that your manager doesn't know and hasn't okayed this? I have an agreement in place with my boss that I clock off and do the school runs. It's not discussed with my colleagues because its not their business.

I have an agreement for flexible working with my manager too. My colleagues also don't know about it because it's not their business. I do my work, they do theirs, and that's that 🤷‍♀️

I've a colleague who had similar for a caring thing, not kids.

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 21:06

It could be, but not everyone 'public sector' works with vulnerable people. It could be civil service, planning office, tax inspectors, food hygiene, road repairs... Anything!

Exactly. For some reason my first thought was probation service!

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 21:05

Are you sure that your manager doesn't know and hasn't okayed this? I have an agreement in place with my boss that I clock off and do the school runs. It's not discussed with my colleagues because its not their business.

I have an agreement for flexible working with my manager too. My colleagues also don't know about it because it's not their business. I do my work, they do theirs, and that's that 🤷‍♀️

carefullycourageous · 01/09/2022 21:04

Fairyliz · 01/09/2022 21:01

Has anyone noticed the op said she worked in the public sector? So presumably if work is left it will be vulnerable service users who miss out?
I’m sure most MUmsnetters would be outraged if it was their child/elderly relatives missing out.
Thank you for doing the extra work op, but please try and raise it with your manager.

It could be, but not everyone 'public sector' works with vulnerable people. It could be civil service, planning office, tax inspectors, food hygiene, road repairs... Anything!

Yellowblanketofdoom · 01/09/2022 21:04

Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:58

True…but said car was bought a few months ago. And if you are urging an expensive car on credit that means an expensive monthly payment, that could be being bused for childcare costs?

Show quote history

I can get a BMW on lease for £300 a month. Wraparound childcare for my kids was £700 a month.

Snoozer11 · 01/09/2022 21:02

I work hard, but I honestly have never understood people who get their knickers in a twist over what their colleagues do. Sometimes I raise an eyebrow, but I understand that everyone has lives and that it doesn't impact me.

Presumably they're only holding themselves back when it comes to promotion.

I work from home and sometimes I hear people's kids in the background. Or building work. Or a dog barking. I don't think anything of it and if someone made a comment to me about a little background noise I would find it very hard to bite my tongue.

Its not your job to concern yourself with her routine.

@thefirstmrsrochester lockdown dogs aren't puppies any more and require little attention during the day. What exactly is the problem? Are you opposed to people daring to work from home if they have a dog snoring under the table?

Yellowblanketofdoom · 01/09/2022 21:02

Are you sure that your manager doesn't know and hasn't okayed this? I have an agreement in place with my boss that I clock off and do the school runs. It's not discussed with my colleagues because its not their business.

If you have worked in the public sector as long as I have, then you will have encountered many a piss take along your way. My attitude is if you cannot beat them, join them.

carefullycourageous · 01/09/2022 21:01

Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:58

True…but said car was bought a few months ago. And if you are urging an expensive car on credit that means an expensive monthly payment, that could be being bused for childcare costs?

Show quote history

I think you need to stop obsessing about someone else's life, either report or move on somehow.

Fairyliz · 01/09/2022 21:01

Has anyone noticed the op said she worked in the public sector? So presumably if work is left it will be vulnerable service users who miss out?
I’m sure most MUmsnetters would be outraged if it was their child/elderly relatives missing out.
Thank you for doing the extra work op, but please try and raise it with your manager.

wibblywobblybits · 01/09/2022 21:00

What she does / doesn't do, and when she works / doesn't work, isn't really any of your business.

If the rest of you are working extra (unpaid) hours to cover her shortfall, then stop doing them and you won't feel so bitter about it. The only reason you're annoyed is because she's getting away with it, it doesn't actually directly impact you. Just take on less work, like she does, and everyone will be happy. If the work doesn't get done, your line manager can deal with it then.

niceaspaella · 01/09/2022 21:00

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Original poster
Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 21:00

Thanks for all the views, appreciate them all xx

OP posts:
lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 20:59

Is it possible she works later past her finish time, to make up for the 1.5 hours missed on a morning?

Original poster
Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:58

carefullycourageous · 01/09/2022 20:50

Either tell your manager, do the same, or focus on your own life. They are your only options.

One thing I'll point out though is when you say money isn’t an issue, think expensive car, large house etc) - cars can be on credit, mortgages can be expensive. People can have difficult finances whilst living in nice homes.

True…but said car was bought a few months ago. And if you are urging an expensive car on credit that means an expensive monthly payment, that could be being bused for childcare costs?

OP posts:
niceaspaella · 01/09/2022 20:57

Either she’s doing her job or she isn’t but it’s for your manager to decide and you only know the picture your choosing to paint you don’t know the whole story

if you have to much work and you can’t get it all done in your working hours that’s the conversation you can have with your manager

Original poster
Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:57

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 20:53

misses things early in the morning at school run times

Such as what?

Meetings sometimes, but also just doesn’t put anything in her diary till 10ish when she can have done the school run and drive into the workplace, despite being paid from half 8.

OP posts:
Original poster
Laughingteacakes · 01/09/2022 20:55

niceaspaella · 01/09/2022 20:44

How is your manager not noticing if you can all so obviously see it and you all do the exact same job

We have an office base but manager is barely there and we are all in and out depending on what’s in our diaries….there is no sign in or out system, we are trusted to get on with our work.

OP posts:
lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 20:53

misses things early in the morning at school run times

Such as what?

lancsgirl85 · 01/09/2022 20:52

carefullycourageous · 01/09/2022 20:50

Either tell your manager, do the same, or focus on your own life. They are your only options.

One thing I'll point out though is when you say money isn’t an issue, think expensive car, large house etc) - cars can be on credit, mortgages can be expensive. People can have difficult finances whilst living in nice homes.

Agree. Having a nice car and house definitely doesn't mean money "isn't an issue".

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