Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Crying when I'm around people too long... what is wrong with me?

35 replies

leafstone · 30/08/2022 14:09

This seems so weird to write, especially as I'm someone who doesn't cry ever.

But every time I'm in a group of people for longer than a couple of hours, I just feel like I get immensely depressed, and I don't know why, because I long for social time really.

We're on a trip for 3 days with DP's family and since I woke up, I've just felt so sad. I've been desperately trying to still be upbeat and act like I'm not feeling anything but everyone can notice something is wrong, and it's not like I can explain what it is because I have no idea.
I keep feeling the tears coming and I just know that the second I'm on my own that I'll break down and cry which seems so pathetic, especially with no reason!

Now it all feels worse as well because I feel like everyone just thinks I'm boring/depressive and I don't know what on earth my problem is.
It's just this ache in my chest and desperation to just... get away.

This seems so strange, so is there anyone out there who experiences anything similar? Or has any advice/reason why this happens, because I just feel awful.

OP posts:
Iheartmysmart · 30/08/2022 14:25

I’m a massive introvert and even meeting up with good friends for coffee/dinner makes me twitchy after a couple of hours. I can’t wait to get home where it’s quiet and I don’t have to interact with anyone.

sammysal · 30/08/2022 14:25

Being around other people triggers / reminds you of your own inadequacies? Like everyone is happy / 'normal' apart from me?

Original poster
leafstone · 30/08/2022 14:24

@Crabbyboot yeah, I think that's a part of it - feeling like I'm on the outside of every group or just not fitting in.

I'm definitely naturally introverted, but I do always want time with other people. I get really excited about it but when it comes, this feeling does too.

OP posts:
IScreamAtMichaelangelos · 30/08/2022 14:23

I get this. I have wondered if it's because people react with horror to aspects of my life that to me are quite normal. They remind me that these things shouldn't be normal...

RealBecca · 30/08/2022 14:23

I get it when i have a background stress. Like I'm totally fine on the surface and I wouldnt consider myself to have anything on my mind...unless I have to do something requiring effort and energy and then I kind of fall apart. Is there anything on your mind? Kids being hard work? Work problem? Relationship issues?

Crabbyboot · 30/08/2022 14:20

I completely get what you mean I don't know what causes it. I have been trying to label that feeling for years. I always got it on school trips and I often get it on group holidays where I don't feel part of the group. I am quite introverted it might be something to do with needing my own space or sometimes feeling like I'm not quite sure how to interact in a group setting.

WashableVelvet · 30/08/2022 14:20

As a sociable introvert I just have to plan in alone-time as part of big family gatherings 😂

choolaboola · 30/08/2022 14:17

Would you consider yourself introverted? I can do very limited group time before I realise I need to be on my own - it's not weird. Check out the Myers Briggs personality testing - when I found out the INFJ personality it all made sense!

Original poster
leafstone · 30/08/2022 14:15

@Whodoiwanttobe it seems to be every time I'm around a group so probably not that, unless my hormones are out of whack continuously?

OP posts:
Whodoiwanttobe · 30/08/2022 14:12

leafstone · 30/08/2022 14:09

This seems so weird to write, especially as I'm someone who doesn't cry ever.

But every time I'm in a group of people for longer than a couple of hours, I just feel like I get immensely depressed, and I don't know why, because I long for social time really.

We're on a trip for 3 days with DP's family and since I woke up, I've just felt so sad. I've been desperately trying to still be upbeat and act like I'm not feeling anything but everyone can notice something is wrong, and it's not like I can explain what it is because I have no idea.
I keep feeling the tears coming and I just know that the second I'm on my own that I'll break down and cry which seems so pathetic, especially with no reason!

Now it all feels worse as well because I feel like everyone just thinks I'm boring/depressive and I don't know what on earth my problem is.
It's just this ache in my chest and desperation to just... get away.

This seems so strange, so is there anyone out there who experiences anything similar? Or has any advice/reason why this happens, because I just feel awful.

I get this every time I have PMT! Literally once a month and it feels exactly like this. Are you hormonal? However if you aren’t and it’s just when you’re around people, then I have no idea!