why do people think second hand is manky?

Well of course it’s about personal reactions! 🙄 I’m painfully aware of the fact it’s an irrational response thanks. And I’m not talking to the people who grew up in poverty but are still happy to grab a bargain when they can. I’m talking to the people who would never buy second hand underwear or towels or shoes or beds, but who look down their noses at me because I don’t want anything second hand. That is privilege. And I’m talking to the people who are calling others idiots and laughing at how stupid they are when they have fuck all idea of why a person might have an aversion to used stuff.

@RosesAndHellebores unfortunately it wasn’t the stuff that was donated to the jumble. It was the old crap that never would have sold. Definitely no Boden 😉

Probably a cultural thing and some people might feel lesser due to it (childhoods where that was all they had... not saying that theres anything to feel embarrassed about).
I'm just grateful my grandma taught me about the value of second hand items. I'm a beast at finding then now

@TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws

Like another poster up thread I remember jumble sales. Vintage often feels like posh jumble to me.

Exchanging mini Boden between friends is one thing - buying bundles off ebay quite another.

Almost all my cars have been 12-18 months old when purchased. Let some other mug swallow the depreciation I say, for a tin box on wheels.

If nobody bought new stuff, there'd be no second hand stuff though. I am perfectly happy to nobly provide for the used market.

There are lots of people who grew up in actual poverty, never had anything new but don't have the same reaction. That's not about privilege, it's about personal reaction to personal life issues

I don't blame you, that stuff it private, you don't want to have to drudge it up to justify yourself. I have my quirks like you about household things.

I'm definitely against the wider consumerism we have though, and these days, there's lots of good secondhand stuff around so I'd definitely recommend in general.

But how does anyone know there is no good reason? Very few of my friends and none of my colleagues know how I grew up. I wouldn’t tell them about flea infested rugs or bedbugs or permanently stained clothing. I’m quite sure some of them think I’m a snobby, spendthrift idiot because I feel uncomfortable even going into a charity shop.

There are a lot of privileged based assumptions on this thread.

@countrygirl99
i know one like this - quite happy to use a hotel bathroom though 😭

That is very understandable @TheLionTheWitchAndTheChesterDraws. Those comments were more aimed at people who turn their nose up at good quality clothes and furniture for no reason. If you grew up with soiled secondhand clothes, for example, that's a completely different story. It fully makes sense if you felt embarrassed by these things growing up🤷‍♀️

Why don’t you step outside your little privileged bubbles for a minute?

I won’t have anything second hand in my home. It doesn’t matter if it’s from a charity shop, a boot fair or from someone I know (even if their home is spotless). The thought of it makes my flesh crawl. And that’s not because I’m an idiot. It’s because I grew up in abject fucking poverty. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, was new. Not furniture, not clothes, not cups or plates, nothing. And it wasn’t always nice new either. A lot of the time it was fourth, fifth and sixth hand.

So any of you who buy second hand because you love a bargain or because you’re worried about the environment, but you could afford new if you didn’t fancy the second hand version, then good for you. But don’t you dare sit in judgement over me, making ridiculous comments about posh fucking jewellery, and how stupid we are because we don’t realise how many people have touched our new stuff, and asking whether we don’t have soap or washing machines etc, because some of us can’t bear the thought of having someone else’s cast offs. I very much doubt the Queen had to wear someone else’s ratty old knickers.

So some of you might think I’m an idiot. But it’s very easy to be scornful of the long term effects of poverty when you’re just visiting and have other options.

I've had some bargains second hand, including a Panasonic bread maker. People not cleaning or washing stuff they donate are gross. Probably the same people who sell things on Facebook stating, "needs a clean" or "could do with a wash". I wouldn't dream of selling or donating something that was dirty. Same as when selling bric a brac and furniture on eBay I always show any damage, however minor, in the photos.

On the whole I don't like posts that begin with ..
"Back in my day..." but in this case , it applies.

In the 60s/70s/80s , during the Jurassic Park era of instant communication, we had jumble sales.
Generally, only poor people went to jumble sales . I hated them but needs must. Much of the jumble was very used, smelly, stained and was what most people, today , would send to a rag bank , a clothes bank or to the council.

Anything worth wearing again, today, is put on eBay or Vinted.

I'm just wondering if this 'manky' thought harks back to those days by people of my age ( nudging 60.)

I've often wondered this. For instance I have had my third child dd2, eldest is dd1 and then in the middle is ds. I haven't bought many clothes for dd2 as she is wearing all of her sister's baby clothes and some of her brother's. I see no issue and they are good quality clothes that have washed well. If I do buy her clothes it tends to be stuff that is season appropriate, she was a big baby and born in Autumn whereas her sister was a tiny baby born in Spring consequently she wasn't in small sizes very long. My mum would rather buy her new clothes but cheap brands that don't wash well whereas I prefer to let her wear her sister's better quality (not necessarily expensive although some are) clothes.

How did she cope getting a bus, or taxi?
Other bums would have sat in those seats.

In recent years I've bought second hand a double bed and mattress (advertised as used in guest room only and the mattress was immaculate) chests of drawers x 2, coffee table, filing cabinet, office chair x 2, garden chairs, small book case, and rescued 2 small side tables out of skips. Probably saved our family at least £2000 in the process. Our 1960s teak dining table and chairs are inherited. The only new furniture we have in our house are 2 x sofa, our warren evans bed, a wooden bed frame I bought in 1987 (has obvs had several new mattresses over the years), 2 x Ikea kitchen stools, built in wardrobes and white goods. Oh and a book case I bought in the mid 1990s.

@Lily073 , I just accept that we are all covered in trillions of bacteria, inside and out, and that they are an essential part of our immune system and general health.

I used to work with someone who was exactly like that. She was horrified at the thought someone else might have used the bath. 🤷‍♀️

Where my family is second hand shops are proper popular. That's btw where some of the good (but not the best) merch gets sold to. Central European second hand shops so mums can proudly show us their newest find of perfect Dorothy perkins coat for 3 quid😁 (yeah, that was few years ago😂). Hand me downs for kids are super popular because baby cloths are procey usually.
One thing most people do buy new are white goods in a hope they will last long and second hand usually not being that much cheaper.
My windbreaker from when I was 6 is like a family heirloom now😂

I think it’s a mid 20th century attitude that’s hung around - the era that gave us white goods, hoovers, fitted kitchens, plastic and biological washing power.

We got used to modern and new, and hand me downs felt pre WW2 and reminded people of pre welfare state poverty.

My grandparents and their parents were 'wardrobe dealers' aka clothiers aka Totters. They bought 2nd hand 'schmutter', jewelry, furs, feathers, bags, shoes etc and sold it on for weddings, funerals, stage productions etc. They bought off some famous people and sold it on or exported to Africa especially Victorian finery. Their shop in Southwark was a real Old Curiosity Shop. It's obviously in the blood because I love preloved stuff, car boots and charity shop finds.

Plenty of people do keep stuff in really unsuitable environments though.

Fine if someone is having a go through of their wardrobe and picks out a few things that they haven't worn in a while, but have been properly stored with other stuff in the wardrobe. Not so fine if it's baby stuff that's been in a mouldy shed for several years waiting for the potential of another baby to use it for - but then during a clear out, that manky stuff goes to the charity shop. How many threads have I seen on here asking how to get mould out of pushchairs, carrycots etc?

The other problem with chucking stuff in the bin is the council - infrequent pickups, no space in bin etc. So I can imagine stuff ends up in the charity shop instead.

My friend's husband refused point blank to buy a secondhand bed, even when they were stone broke. Because of him they had to get into more debt by buying one with a credit card. He said it made him cringe to think someone else had slept on the bed, what acts they may have done on it, what bodily fluids maybe have been spilled on it ... so unhygienic etc.

This same man has ben perfectly happy throughout his entire marriage to sleep in hotel beds that have been previously slept on not by one person or a couple, but THOUSANDS of strangers!

Illogical.

Hmm. Certainly not knickers, underpants or trousers. DS was given lots of trackies from friends. Their children werenpresably not potty trained because the smell of wee filtered through when they were body warm.

Personally I wouldn't want a dress or blouse into which someone else's pits had sweated. Certainly not shoes - or socks.

The DC had tons of cast off from friends - not a problem. We had a bouncer and moses basket given to us. Great. Y friends and I passed around a maternity coat, some work dresses for years.

I'm not keen on 2nd hand furniture due to a worry about wood worm - unless it comes from a reputable dealer. Similarly rugs, soft furnishings re moth larvae.

When dc outgrew pram, cot, high chair, stair gates I called the local SS dept and was snottily told that their clients were only provided with brand new items. The investment bank director and his wife were grateful for them.

My mum in her 70’s is fine if it’s second hand from someone she knows. But if it’s a complete stranger it’s a definite no, think she likes to know what conditions the item have lived in 😂

I don't get it either. Surely it's dirty as soon as you've used it yourself. I can't get het up about it. Nor the idea that people might have touched brand new things in a shop. So? Who cares. It must be exhausting to worry so much about germs TBH.

But then, my own hygiene standards are pretty low so maybe I just assume that other people's are probably higher than mine/don't care if they are equal to mine?

@WhereAreMyAirpods
the Crown Jewels are quite old i wonder if they are ‘manky’ 😭
exteme example perhaps but don’t people think about antique items ….? 🤷🏻‍♀️