To not understand why some couples have to do everything together

Another person suggesting OP is jealous. Why? I’m fairly sure she’s not. I’m married and think couples who do absolutely everything together are a bit odd.

Where does it end? Will they still be picking DC’s up from work together when they start their first Saturday jobs? Drunken teenage parties?

We do lots of things together as a family, but also lots of things separately. DD and I will have a girly weekend away or a night at the theatre. DH will sometimes take DS to a sports game. But sometimes we’ll all go. Sometimes I’ll take DS for lunch and shopping. And sometimes DH and I will do any of the above with just the two of us. It really depends who fancies doing what at the time.

We recently had tickets to a sporting event and DH had Covid so couldn’t come. I took the DC’s on my own. A friend of ours was stunned. She wouldn’t have gone without her DH. It seems crazy that she would have let her DC’s miss out because her DH wouldn’t be there.

A lot of people don't get it.Its great being joined at the hip with a bossy controlling DW doing everything together especially shopping.Shopping on your own with no one to carry and pack those heavy bags...just crazy

I still haven't read alot of the thread🙂

I haven’t read all the posts so haven’t come across any really nasty or vindication as you say.

i imagine some do feel a little attacked at being called “weird” and “irritating” by the OP for the way that they conduct their relationships though.

I completely agree with the OP. My DS is like this with her DP. She even wanted to bring him along when I went wedding dress shopping.

Kids parties*

I've usually taken someone to parties as they are dull as hell so it's good to have someone to chat to!

I agree 100%. I have posted separately about the nastiness. Glad I’m not alone.

You've used weird examples op and it sounds like you're sour because you don't have anyone to do things with.

I'm fairly independent but don't see a problem with your examples and I like seeing couples loved up and enjoying each other's company.

Having said that, I don't personally know of anyone as extreme as you suggest. Family and kid stuff together, yes. Watching sport and girls only evenings out - separate.

And weekends do tend to be family time because most people work and it is the time to do things together. Not sure why you feel offended or affronted

I am not going to quote individual posters but some are nasty and sarcastic accusing the OP of jealousy and bitterness. Disagreeing is one thing but these spiteful insults are not necessary. They remind me of drivers who stick 2 fingers up to other drivers but wouldn’t say boo to a goose face to face.

As usual when this subject crops up there is a core group who say, “Dh and I love each other” implying that all the other posters are in lesser unions. Upthread someone described their family as “tight” (ugh) and another claimed no one knew what having a “real connection” was like - unlike them of course.

True. These will doubtless be the ones whose daughters-in-law are posting here in a few years' time about the overbearing PiLs who let themselves into the house, demand all holiday time is expended on them and generally make themselves such a nuisance that contact is reduced or stopped altogether. Nothing much 'tight' about that. There's loving families spending time together, and there's controlling, cloying and despairing relatives consequently being unable to breathe.

I find this thread quite revealing.

I'm often like this with DH. I do have anxiety though, so there's that. Possibly why there's many couples like that? I prefer to be with him, even when I'm at home. I don't think that's that odd tbh.

Nothing is “wrong” with any response on this thread!!

I am not disagreeing with the Op

Clearly some couples do a great deal together!!

my point is - I can’t understand why the upset. Genuinely. As for impacting others - that’s not the doing everything together, that’s just rudeness as an ability to understand what is appropriate for the situation.

It can be irritating, as has been explained many times.

What's wrong with saying that?

Irritated and upset are quite different emotions. I don't think OP is crying herself to sleep about this!

I didn’t devalue it. I suggested her awful relationship history may impact her view on this.

I personally don’t know any couple other than those over 75 that remotely do everything together

Loads of us are agreeing with the OP. Have we all been in shitty relationships as well?

I don't think it's particularly hard to comprehend why these things are irritating

It’s weird

Just from the OP’s first few posts.
bit more than thinking it’s “unusual”

Sorry that was meant to quote Endlesslypatient82

I don’t understand it either. I’ve been married almost 30 years. We do stuff together but also stuff separately. I have a friend like this she even brought her husband to a girls night 🙄

Ah but we keep being told by people who need to do everything together just LOVE thier partner in a way no one else has loved before

Even though there are loads of happily married people agreeing with her?

It's not ok to devalue someone's opinion just because of thier relationship status.

DH did school runs etc with me often. I'm autistic and I sometimes needed the support. Would you suggest I just stay at home so as not to piss you off?

They post where you declared you're not singular beings you're a COUPLE? Yes.

🤣 I’ve seen these couples!

I am a single mum
even when married I never ever did anything remotely close to all the things the OP lists with my husband

but does it baffle / infuriate / anger / piss me off (delete as applicable)? Not in the slightest