To not understand why some couples have to do everything together

The half of me wasn't aimed at you, but there are previous posts about being a whole / couple above being individuals

Why don't you see your friends when hes busy?

The jealous accusation is used as a default on many threads by posters who have nothing concrete to criticise the poster for, but just want to say YABU.

I've seen OPs being accused of being jealous over the most ridiculous things.

I guess the biggest reason is I enjoy spending time together with fiancé more then I enjoy our time apart. maybe it helps that we have a lot of the same interests. so it's easy for us to spend time together.

he still goes out but not that often and I just spend the evening reading or playing on the computer.

This thread has got a bit weird. I don’t much like all the comments that the OP is jealous / bitter / sour - partly because I am a pedant and jealousy is actually a fairly rare emotion.

I remember a thread where the OP was getting annoyed with her boyfriend because he didn’t want her to do anything without him, wanted to talk to her while she was in the bath and tried to hold her hand when she was eating. The overwhelming consensus was that he was stifling and she should get rid.

I am not disagreeing with you- I am fiercely independent and enjoy seeing friends and doing things without my DH. I used to tell him it was time for him to book flights to visit his best friend, as he was driving me nuts. However some on here have different personalities and want to exist around only their DH and DC, Not for me but hey ho

It does sometimes amaze me, but I was married to someone in the military whom I met when serving myself. When we married I left the military but he continued to serve. He was away a great deal of the time. My son was born overseas where I had no family and only recently made friends. When pregnant I stayed in the UK (hubby had to start his deployment but the working and maternity pay were very different then), rented out and packed up our house on my own and did not join my husband until 2 months before baby was due. I was always very independent and have continued to be so, although I guess our lifestyle made me even more so. We have been married for 45 year and adore each other but we also have our own lives - we never shop together (it would be far too expensive if he came along :) and the thought of him coming along to a child's birthday party with me when our son was small would just never have happened :)) We both drive and have our own friends as well as our joint friends. I think everyone, men included, should have the individual independence we have - but each to their own

Good. I also accept your right to be rude 🙂

Of course, I fully accept your right to be wrong and vice versa.

Some of these seem normal but the birthday party one is extremely weird and irritating

Well we'll have to agree to disagree.

I know one couple who do this but it seems kind of contrived. Hard to explain but there’s such a focus on family time that it doesn’t allow for any flexibility or allowing other options. Have given
up suggesting things to them.

My PILs are like this. Driven mainly by my FIL. I find it quite odd and would find it claustrophobic to have a husband like that.

That said,, believe it or not, some couples like to spend time together as a couple or a family. Or both want to go to things. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I don't agree with your definition of rude, I simply said 'It is so boring talking with people who do this' because that is my genuine view.

But I am ok with you thinking I'm rude.

Well that's the point really. We don't know what the future holds so it's important to have some interests and a friendship circle. People who tie their lives totally to their partner, children, job or whatever and rarely do much outside of that can end up with nothing when the children leave home, their marriage ends, they're made redundant whatever.
Having a balance in life is important. Not, despite some of the rather silly psychobabble on here, because you're going around anticipating sadness and grief, but because it is a healthy way to live.

I wouldn’t get upset about folks choices when stats show that nearly half of marriages end in divorce. So many couples on here will likely get divorced and will be back on here either being upset at having no friends, feeling isolated and others stating they have got a good network of friends who have supported them through the divorce . So live the way you want to in the knowledge that it may not be forever - we can’t live with what ifs and have to do what works for you as a couple whether others disagree or not

It is horses for courses, people are different. You sound a touch judgemental with remarks like 'I've not relied opon him to be half of me'. My situation is my DH is not any of me, and I am confident I can deal with good times and bad when they come. Grief may come and I will hopefully be fine. There's nothing I do my DH couldn't learn if he wanted and nothing he does I couldn't learn if I wanted.

It is important not to project onto other people's choices, as we only really know ourselves. Our own fears drive each of us as much as our own wants.

Exactly. My mother didn't take up bridge and join a book club so she'd have something to do when my father died.

But the activities, and the friends she made while doing them, were a massive support after she was widowed.

It is healthy for couples to have some independence from each other.

How rude you are.

No one is actually saying "can we go out for dinner Saturday cos i might be widowed in 40 years and need you" but that it's about having balance in your life, something other than one person

No, again you're being silly and deliberately misinterpreting. It is so boring talking with people who do this.

What I am saying is there is no point going out with friends if you want to spend time with your DH, people have to do as they wish with the time they have.

I personally go out separately when that is what I want to do now. I'm not thinking about a support network if widowed.

We (no kids) have both started going to visit parents alone every other visit.
Both sets of parents getting on and have health worries so seems good to have more alone time to discuss things if needed.

Back to the op, of course a couple who refuse/are not allowed to do anything apart is concerning (assuming no additional needs) but has anyone says it isn't a concern in those circumstances?

Anyone bringing their partner to a friends night out when not invited is at minimum thoughtless. Sending your partner to coffee with friend over you even worse (unless they wanted advice he could give them and you were suddenly sick and no chance to re-arrange)

Nobody's insulating themselves from grief. But having interests and friends of your own is a healthy way to live and also means you have support when your partner dies.

Are you seriously saying that anyone who joins a choir or meets up with friends separately from their husband is 'insulating' themselves from grief??

Yes but if you have friends to support you and activities outside of the home it is a huge help.

How good were people's language skills? If they spoke no French then I can see there was safety numbers -type like scenario