To not understand why some couples have to do everything together

The only response is 'no'. You don't need to say any more.

Thanks 🙂

Sometimes it's because they work
long hours or overseas so when they are off work they wanna be with family/hubbie/wife as been at work and not seen them???

"I was thinking it would be great if it was just the old gand back together, so we can all relax and have a catch up and a drink. Perhaps we could do something bigger to include family another time?"

I'm arranging a reunion with some university friends. Someone just emailed to ask if partners and kids are invited. I thought of this thread.
At least they asked, I suppose. How to politely say NO though.

Parts of this thread remind me of the Ricky Gervais series Afterlife.

@jewishmum oh I do see them as my hobby and also a hobby I share with fiancé too as he likes to do this too so we have games we play together and also are trying to work our way through cain's jawbone at the moment (a rare occasion we are actually doing reading as a activity together rather than just us individually reading our own book)

I guess maybe I don't go out enough on my own but the problem is my hobbies are more solitary activities and things like going to the movies, theater and museum etc are things I do actually enjoy with fiancé.... I could go with friends but then would end up going twice as fiancé would usually be keen on the event as well...

if I add on top of that most of my friends are far away and me being more introverted I kind of realised that I can maybe count the times I go out on my own in a year on one hand.... maybe this will in crease once my dm moves closer and is in the UK

Ditto

@cadburyegg I hear you op. I’m very happily married and have been for a long time , we have three kids and now that are youngest is 5 we are getting our lives back a bit and are more rested so want to take up more hobbies etc, meet up with friends etc. We are both 37 so not young but not old either so still like do sports like running etc. We often swap around and do things either on our own or on our own with the kids, I’ve totally had a weird reaction to this too at times. I think it’s also because we have never had any family help or support , lots of family but no one has ever babysat etc so since having our children we have had to swap to go to events , weddings etc. (really not easy to get babysitters where we live at all and when our kids were small we weren’t comfortable with a teenager with small babies etc ).
I went away with my 3 dcs for a weekend recently for a weekend and a friend said she was shocked , she wouldn’t go alone with her kids camping etc as they prefer to do it as a family , absolutely fair enough and we do loads as a family but that weekend my dh was repainting our entire house inside (v expensive where we live and we can’t all be there , we don’t have anyone to watch kids ).
I also try to arrange things like going to do stuff at weekends with other mums , simple things like a hike or a swim or a coffee but usually no one can come as they are doing family stuff (my dcs also do activities but my dh can take over for one day!). I think sometimes it’s a case that their dh doesn’t want to be left with the kids or maybe they just don’t want to meet but often give the impression that they’d like to do more for themselves. I think it’s so important to keep up friendships especially as we get older. Tbh I now meet with single friends etc as they are more flexible and more willing to do things at weekends.

Wow, this thread derailed….wow.

I love how you can't let it lie @Arbesque

This could go on and on.

I think you're rude and obnoxious, you think I'm obtuse and boring.

Let's call it quits.

Actually you did by being deliberately obtuse, which I pointed out was boring

She started it Miss

Oh, and I never invite him along when I'm seeing my friends. I agree that's annoying!

I don't know about others, but my DH works long hours so we don't really see each other during the week. And we enjoy spending time together. We don't go to childrens' birthday parties or school pickup together though, unless we're off to something else straight after.

Can we all just agree that different people like different things?

If OP doesn't want friends to invite their OH to things, she needs to say so. If they decide they'd rather not bother she can move on and find new friends.

I would say reading and playing video games were hobbies and interests.

I'm seeing it more of a tennis match - watch the ball go up court, watch it go down court, watch it go up court, watch it go down court. And repeat. I've actually lost track of who's right it was to be rude.

Bloomin heck it’s like watching a written argument between my two youngest.

12 and 10

And I accept your right to deny you were being rude.

I wasn't rude. I just expressed a view you don't like. Your view does not trump mine. But I equally resepct your right to be offended over nothing

I had a work colleague who got married. He said that from that point onwards, if they were invited to something but one of them couldn't attend (both worked shifts) , then the other one wouldn't go either. So he would sit at home and miss out on a party, because she was working, and vice versa. It seemed bonkers to me.

@Arbesque I guess the thing is I don't really have friends close enough to me. also health issues do mean the energy I have is limited so going out for a day can best case mean I am wiped out for the next 2 days or have a cold from the exhaustion etc. but even so the friends I have are limited as the hobby and interests means travelling far for meeting up to know people etc. did it for a time and it was just exhausting. I do have friends but the closest are 2 hours travel away so it's not exactly easy.

@SleepingStandingUp I would love to but unfortunately my closest friends are still 2 hours away and my best friend is even further. I am happy enough just texting and playing on the computer together.

Don't you have any separate friends or interests?