To not understand why some couples have to do everything together

@PollyRockets i'm talking about this happening "regularly", you seem to be referring to the odd occasion, being a novelty.

I suppose I'm dick then. My husband comes everywhere with me because I can't push my own wheelchair. We like each other's company though.
He goes out without me to the gym etc, but I can't go out without him.

Exactly. Imagine organising a baby shower and one of the invitees assumed she could bring her husband without even asking.

What’s next? DPs on stag and hen dos?!

Yes! Please #BeKind !!!!!

Yikes!

I know what you mean OP, my dad and stepmother are like this. They don’t go anywhere without each other, ever. It’s weird and unhealthy in my opinion. Do they not ever feel like doing something alone, or different to what the other one wants to do? Today DH took DD to the beach with MIL, I don’t like the heat and wanted to stay home watching Netflix so I did 🤷🏼‍♀️

That sounds like flatmates!

so people actually ENJOY time with their partner and believe in joint parenting where BOTH parent take an active part in their kids lives together at the same time.

Its called being a family.

Same with the school run, like a PP said i'm also quite surprised when there's couples there regularly picking up a kid, i'm often wondering don't they have work ?

But if you’re there @gonuts you don’t have work either presumably? They could wonder the same about you. Why do they need to be at work if you’re not?
It may surprise you, but not all jobs are 9-5 out of the house.
You sound like the OP. Making bizarre assumptions about people because they pick their kids up from school together. Not only are these parents all co-dependent, they’re all unemployed too 😂

I like my husband and he, being the other parent of our kids, wants to attend our children's events, info days, parents evenings etc.

Should I not like my DH?

@Gwenhwyfar

Depends entirely on the arrangements beforehand. If you’ve agreed to just go out with the women then you leave the husbands at home. Likewise they often go out for their own nights with each other and do not take their wives out.

Couples nights are exactly that ….. going out with other couples.

Ex friend and husband were like this. It to the point - they had to both ‘discuss how they jointly answered every text each other got’

I actually took your post seriously for a millisecond. 😹😹😹

"Still remember years ago a friend of my ne (no longer 😁) who should've been at my hen night, turned up with her husband to my DH stag DGS."

Hen and stag nights are specifically single sex outings though. Most evenings out with friends aren't.

I loved it when both mum and dad came to pick me up. Why do you think it's strange for couples to do things with their child together?

I totally get what you mean with some people. I had a friend who couldn't do anything without her partner. Even tried inviting him and the kids on a girls weekend. Always had to get back from things quick because he couldn't look after them for too long alone etc. That is annoying.

However some of your examples aren't necessarily due to not being able to do stuff alone. Where it concerns the kids both my husband and I are very active parents. I'm not the one that does everything like some mums. So parents evening we would both go (though would have someone watch kids) same with other things to do with school if free. Pick up only one of us would routinely do unless we both happened to be on way back or to somewhere or maybe for a surprise (our kids would like that). Birthday parties one of us would do unless we were friendly with the parents running the party in which case we might both go (and other friends have done similar).

Weekends for us are about family time as husband and I both have hectic jobs and dont get much quality time with the kids in the week however we don't rule out doing stuff solo with friends or whatever- just not all the time. So I get why people may not say yes to everything but I think saying no all the time is extreme as its healthy to still have your own life outside being a mum and wife. But again, for us at least spending time together isnt because we can't apart.

Two parents turning up at a kids’ party has always totally baffled me. It’s a nice Saturday afternoon and two grown adults are choosing to spend hours in a chaotic soft play centre? I always imagine that one of them has told the other, “If I have to suffer this, then you have to as well.”

School pickups are great when there are two of us available, no parking issues! One goes in and the other does laps in the car.

I do hate it when grown women won't go to the toilet on their own though. My friend always used to ask me or tag along I want to piss in peace thank you .

we also go to parents evening together, didn’t realise there was anything wrong with that?

I’m a teacher and please know there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact it’s very much encouraged @Gardeningismythingwithawine Obviously for various reasons it’s not always possible to have both parents there, but both parents showing an interest in their child’s education is definitely a positive. And if both turn up I assume that’s why both parents are there - because they both want to hear about it their child from me and take a first hand look at their work. Never have I thought they are there together because they are codependent and can’t do things apart. That’s just bonkers.

My OH won't go out unless I decide where we are going apart from motorbike rides. He likes company.

@Gwenhwyfar

I like to meet up with my friends. My friends are all women. Now and again ONE of the women will bring along her gooseberry husband much to the annoyance of us all. We like to have a night out WOMEN only. None of them are lesbians so we will not need to encounter anyone else so is that clear enough for you?

we don’t go out to meet new people we are all a bunch of friends who have been close since school and we like to catch up on each other’s lives mainly.

Do you understand now?

People have different personalities, different dynamics in their relationships and like doing things their own way.
people aren’t all the same. It’s really not that big a deal. I think partly we need to accept that everyone does things differently.

I guess you could try to take an extreme perspective of it being people incapable of doing things alone but similarly you could judge someone always alone in an extreme way as someone incapable of having a close relationship or as someone who doesn’t care about family time.

reality is probably a lot more boring and people just like spending time together even though they could do things alone.

A lot of this seems to be associated with having one child/PFB, especially the comment about being really into the child starting reception.

Two adults going assuming it isn't limited spaces, is fine. The issue seems to be when that means dragging a handful of young kids there which then disturbs everyone else so they can't listen, rather than saying (even if you have to leave the house together because its just a cold shell without them) one of us will wait outside with the kids / pop to the shops etc so everyone can hear. A single parent taking children is accepted as no childcare, no choice but two parents sat their allowing the kids to be disruptive is selfish.