Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

I'm in my 20s and a fair few of my friends have completely gone off men because of what's expected as part of sex and relationships these days. Anal, deep-throating, cumming on your face, choking. So many men will not even ask before attempting them on you as they see it as part and parcel of regular sex.

I have also seen so many relationships disintegrate because the man is a porn addict who can only get off when watching porn. I don't know what the solution is and I fear it's only going to get worse.

Ignore them, you're totally right to have the conversation with your DD and let her know it's ok to have boundaries.

No, I get what you were doing. I still think it is a very sad scenario where a young girl has to be reduced to tears while one insists she listens to degrading and revolting sexual concepts for the sake of her sex ed to be not so great because we have culturally normalised the male need to bugger. My own conversations about these things with my child have been minimal/non-explicit and gradual though admittedly dealing with sexually explicit culture is difficult.

This is much more in line with the current government sra guidance.
However, I don't think those clamouring for education and complaining about shaming mean this when they say education.
They mean arming children with lube and saying lots of people do it.
They might concede there are risks but as can be seen on this thread they are very keen to minimise the risks of pretend it can be made risk free.

Thank you

Oh my mother did scare me (thank god) she was a nurse and saw many anal injuries even back in the day when it wasn’t so normalised. Always ahead of the time though my mum and knew the way things were heading.

I’ve always had fab sex and certainly not vanilla but as for taking it up the arse? Sweet lord no. Fuck that shit. Quite literally.

Yes it can hurt, yes it can cause damage, if you want to do it here is how you can mitigate some of the risks

Legitimising the idea to children that being hurt or physically damaged/disabled during sex is fucking reprehensible. And when you talk of mitigating actually your setting young women up for victim blaming.

Truly reprehensible.

I'm actually really very cross about the childbirth tears thing

Having bad tears was mentally extremely distressing for me. I do still have some consequences from that. I also have two wonderful children and the damage to my body was a worthwhile consequence.

I was also extremely shocked as I had no idea those kinds of tears happen - it's very much glossed over as a possible consequence of birth. But if I had known I'd still choose to have babies.

If I'd sustained the same damage by giving a man an orgasm/getting one myself, it wouldn't be worthwhile no matter how fun it was at the time

I think most women would probably make the same choice if they were informed about the damage anal can do

Instead you are advocating telling them to do it safely - not possible. Be honest. Tell teenagers facts: most girls will find it painful, most boys won't enjoy it that much. Most adults don't choose it to be part of their sex lives. It carries risks of permanent damage.

Of course it's scaring them if you're only presenting the worst case scenario for anything it can be seen as using scare tactics

Missed this...

Why do people make stuff up

Yes it can hurt, yes it can cause damage, if you want to do it here is how you can mitigate some of the risks. What's so bad about that?

ODFOD

I'm being told off by both 'sides' 😀

I wasn't scaring her at all as I said above

I've got one poster saying I'm scaring her and the other that seems to be implying that I was encouraging her

Good lord

What’s so bad is that sex shouldn’t hurt at all, and it positions anal as something that you have to at least try. It seeks to reject/erode the boundaries of those who want to say no and end the discussion.

Seeking to reject boundaries = Grooming.

There is sexual incompatibly at play here, some people do have different tastes and shouldn't be told they are freak if they want different types of sex but aren't pressuring anyone. I wouldn't personally be happy if the man I was with wanted gentle sex in one position all the time. I also wouldn't be happy if a man started suggesting swinging and threesomes.

People are sometimes sexually incompatible instead of acknowledging that people try to shame instead.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

How do you know that 100% of the women you know don’t have or haven’t had anal sex?

I was about to say the same. I don't believe @PollyRockets is a woman, and also find their claim they never have anal sex very odd, as they have been banging on for ages about how it's normal and people should be doing it. Weird.

I was not telling her to go do it for goodness sake.

I was telling her not to be pressured into having anal sex.

The casual ageism on this thread is disgusting.

To the poster that keeps doing it, just how young are you if you've got kids that are old enough to be watching documentaries about fetishes with you?

I'm 42, is that young enough to have an opinion, or am I to be written off the same way?

You've got a cheek calling other people bigots.

That sounds like a good idea. I can't see many opposing that.

Honestly. Are you female? This is so tone deaf as to be unbelievable
^This 100%

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them

Vanilla just means I don’t want anal, to be choked and all the other acts “normalised” now. It doesn’t mean just the missionary position. if you think it does then you are showing your ignorance. There are lots of other, non harmful, ways for both parties to enjoy sex. But men don’t want that anymore. They want the violence, they want to bang away like a pneumatic drill with no thought for the woman’s pleasure. These men want to do things “to” me, not with me.

Don't talk shit
I've had 2x 3rd degree tears (e.g. torn bumhole) from babies. The only way to avoid the first was not to have babies. The only ways to avoid the second would have been ELCS or no babies

Having bumsex is not like having babies. But definitely, avoid tears by not having bumsex.

Honestly. Are you female? This is so tone deaf as to be unbelievable

@liloandstench Yes, there may be a place for explaining the risks to older children, 16+. I object more to the idea of instructing them how to do it more safely. I think women who really enjoy this activity should create their own advisory and support groups, accessible to 16+. Part of their responsibilities could include ensuring their service users are genuinely participating in anal sex, rather than being coerced.

Coz right now 100% of women I know do not!

I need to see your survey results on this. What sample size of women did you ask? Can someone clarify if this is an obscure issue or not?

Exactly. @PollyRockets is such a bizarre poster. Can't STAND it that many people don't agree with her farcical bluster and made up 'facts.' I think she needs to go for a lie down actually.

25% of women engage in anal sex? Where did you obtain this 'fact?'

Coz right now 100% of women I know do not!

I am guessing you got this 'fact' from some survey in some low-grade magazine. No way is this actual real fact. So stop continually posting this like it IS.