Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

I don't think that's it, no. I think it's the free availability of porn, thanks to the internet - and the reality that parents can't easily stop their kids accessing it, because even if their protections are almost watertight, some kid in school will have all sorts on their phone. Most kids grow up with access to it, and seeing pretty extreme sex acts normalised, and women seemingly enjoying fairly violent acts and degrading treatment, and this grooms them - boys and girls alike - into thinking this is how it should be.

Billie Eilish has spoken quite openly on how this affected her. And a few years ago there was government research done on it that was pretty disturbing - girls thinking that being choked during sex, for example, was normal.

We need to regulate porn more closely. It shouldn't be accessible to anyone who can't validate their age - and that age should be 18, minimum. And it should be a strict liability offence to enable anyone below 16 to access it, too (some still will, but it will reduce the prevalence - right now, most 12 year olds have seen at least some porn). It's a really sad reality: most children now have the vast majority of their sex ed from porn. And yet they almost all come out thinking women enjoy anal as much as men, despite no prostate, and that a clitoris is a small button and not a large root-like nerve system extending pretty widely, with that 'small button' simply being the protrusion. And then people wonder why women orgasm so very much less than men.

Porn has as much to do with real life sex as the Matrix does to the average bar fight. And yet it's the primary source material we are raising each generation on, in terms of sexuality and sexual expression.

A friend in the office had us roaring with laughter. Divorced she started dating. Went out with a nice guy three times on the third date she invited him back for coffee. Young children upstairs in bed. They chatted drank the coffee. She cleared away and started turning lights off. He said I'm not getting any tonight am I. She was shocked but said no. He stood up telling her that if she didn't start putting out she'd die a lonely old woman and he had been more patient than most

Can you give examples of what male vanilla is and what female vanilla is?

(I’m genuinely curious and not being goady)

I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago

I personally think this is exactly it. Some men (probably more than we realise given the popularity of this type of porn) feel emasculated by women now being more “equal” to them. It’s men putting women “back in their place” via violent acts. I’m not sure if they even realise that’s what they’re doing, but I think it’s a big part of it.

You can’t pinch your secretaries bum anymore (and in fact men are just as likely to be the admin nowadays) but hey you can watch a woman take it up the ass from a gang of men and seemingly “love it”. You might be expected to wash the dishes now but then you can go and watch a woman being humiliated on your phone. It sickens me to be honest.

We have gained so much in some areas, but I feel we have lost so much in others. So many men just don’t respect women. They have sisters, mothers, daughters themselves but still want to do things that they’d hate for someone to do to their loved ones. But it doesn’t stop them.

This article that just came out,
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/the-rise-lonely-single-men?amp

I wonder if there are many women who have opt out dating men because sexual demands and porn habits.

Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

It’s been repeatedly explained to you.

Saying “I believe in Education” is of no consequence as it appears that you are unable to differentiate between boundary strengthening and boundary eroding behaviours.
You have convinced precisely no-one, and you are a hazard to the health of young people.

Oh no, you've done it enough on this chain and others it's clearly a you problem

@TheWeeDonkey

It's odd you don't understand 'vanilla' is often different between the sexes

It's been well discussed on this chain. Men are often wanting to do a lot more sexually.

I'm pretty vanilla in terms of what I enjoy, I still wouldn't want to date a male vanilla person. As male flavoured vanilla is often less adventurous than it is for women.

It's not poor form to point out people, such as yourself, who seem unable to understand what is written

I've seen you do it many times across multiple threads - it's quite strange really

Rude!
I tend to think if someone didn't understand me, I didn't communicate well enough.

If they disagree I don't jump to "well they are stupid". That would be pretty arrogant.

But I'm pleased my inarticulate stupid posts have made enough of an impression for you to notice across multiple threads. Can't say the same in return to be honest 😝

@FreudayNight

Again, where did I say I don't teach them to say no if they're uncomfortable?

You're simply making things up to get annoyed about at this point

It's quite odd tbh

My values are education, both positives and negatives and leaving people to make their own decisions on what's right for them. Not sure why you have issue with that but hey ho

Ive been saying this for years and apparently some women (yeah right) love it so that means others can be pressurised into being “cool” enough to go along with it

Sure you haven’t.

Your values on this issue are perfectly clear. And people infer that you will seek to replicate those values in your children.

My values are : You are entitled to say No. Stay away from people that don’t respect your No.
Your Values: At odds with mine.

No I haven’t said anything that implies this at all

Today at 10.57 Polly "I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside the vanilla sphere"

Or have you changed your mind now?

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them.

The same applies with sexes reversed, I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside of the 'vanilla' sphere

How is this not "shaming" people who you perceive to be "vanilla"?

Sadly I think you’re right

I remember an article years ago the woman didn't get pregnant her husband said it was her fault. She paid for a visit to Harley Street where after a chat and examination it was determined she was still a virgin. It transpired he was ejaculatihg outside her body

Back in the day you were expected to lie back and think of England when men did whatever they wanted. You were a virgin before marriage so had zero expectations. My mother told me it was something to be endured

Now we're educated about mutual pleasure I think some men can't forgive us for that.

Because of my age, I was more shocked that this isn't the norm.

Yeah, me too. I was a bit of a late bloomer and most of my first sexual experiences involved anal. It's just seen as something you do. Same as all the other stuff I listed. Sadly aside from MN and a few other women-dominated spaces on the internet it is seen as the norm. It's not much better IRL too.

This is very sad to hear but I’m not surprised. What all these practices have in common(coming on face choking etc) is that they are there to degrade women. Yes there are some women who enjoy anal sex and have not been pressured into it and good for those people who have just said No not for me, but not everyone has that confidence. It is rarely a woman putting pressure on a man to perform sexual acts that may cause him physical harm let’s face it. The vast majority of Porn is misogynistic there are a few women out there making porn for women, Anna Span etc but not many. Porn was always about magazines films etc but it’s so easily available and as someone else said it’s getting more extreme so that it keeps people watching and at the end of the day it’s about making money. This post illustrates that it’s just expected of young women now and that’s not a good thing. Men are not subject to the same sexual expectations. I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago.

Well that’s probably because a lot of 4 year olds do technically masturbate as they like to touch their genitals and they do feel some kind of pleasure from it. It is obviously a very innocent behaviour but it still exists. There is a name for it (I work in health care and have come across cases of it, especially in young girls) but I can’t recall it off the top of my head.

I have spoke to my sons about touching themselves, as they do it all the time and my 8 year old does get erections, and my education is just that it is fine to touch himself and that it does feel nice but it’s a private thing and not something to do in front of other people.

Tbh there was a bit of a discussion going on earlier.

It's back to me me me.

What I like what I don't like.

And posters are claiming to advocate for young women dealing with sex in a rampant porn on the phone culture???

Bull. It's all about yourself.

I'm probably very similar age to you, and think you're right here. What you said about porn is so true. Because of my age, I was more shocked that this isn't the norm.

It's not right that people should be ridiculed if they like something and people like that are disingenuous dicks. But you make a good argument here.

*The fact that you message anal to your daughters as something they ought to at least try, regardless of the fact it might be painful or damaging to them is abusive, because you are seeking to diminish their capacity to say no to those men who feel entitled to anal regardless of anything else.

And you’re too wrapped up in how cool you are to even see it.

Why don’t you ask them whether they think they are entitled to give a non-negotiable No to Anal, and then ask yourself why they feel they have to do anal even if they don’t want to?*

You what???

What thread are you reading?? @FreudayNight

God alive. It's impossible to even discuss this isn't it.

@TheWeeDonkey

Who is ridiculing anyone who is vanilla?

I'm pretty vanilla myself, and damn proud of it.

I know what I like and what I don't. I don't even enjoy receiving oral sex. Which many women do.