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Original poster

Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

890 replies

Doyoumind · 12/08/2022 10:01

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 13/08/2022 18:22

Twawmyarse · 13/08/2022 18:03

What do you not understand about anal sex needing extra work to make it enjoyable

Isn't the "needing extra work" telling you it's probably something that our bodies are not designed to do though?

A vagina gets lubricated when a woman is aroused coz that's where the penis is meant to go.

Christ, this is basic stuff.

Not always amd not reliably, certainly not with age in many cases.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 18:15

Christ, this is basic stuff.

Who is this info aimed at?

Twawmyarse · 13/08/2022 18:07

So do gay men who receive also not like it either then?

Isn't the argument here though about whether something is dangerous or not, not whether you like it. Anal sex is not a natural practice - it isn't what the anus was made for so obviously complications may arise (and often do) from the continued trauma.

Do you not understand the point that's being made about how this can be dangerous for women (and men?)

I think there's a lot of projection going on on this thread from women who don't want to imagine that they're not as sexually liberated as they think they are.

Dalaidramailama · 13/08/2022 18:06

@Twawmyarse

Incredibly basic isn’t it 🤦‍♀️

@Quincythequince

With all due respect to gay men they have to “make do” so to speak. Us women don’t, you know having access to another hole that does get naturally lubricated 🤦‍♀️. Not ever gay man engages in anal either, many stick to oral so it’s not a given just because someone is gay.

Twawmyarse · 13/08/2022 18:03

What do you not understand about anal sex needing extra work to make it enjoyable

Isn't the "needing extra work" telling you it's probably something that our bodies are not designed to do though?

A vagina gets lubricated when a woman is aroused coz that's where the penis is meant to go.

Christ, this is basic stuff.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 17:52

Yep there's quite the string of bum sex shaming.

Quincythequince · 13/08/2022 17:46

ChickenChop · 12/08/2022 13:45

I'm don't think I did claim to care about women did I? However that goes without saying.

I really care. I really care that my daughter is fully aware that anal sex and choking may well be normalised now but it isn't something she should be pressurised into doing.

Like I said, if you say you like it, carry on. My opinion is that women don't like it, they just think they do (and that's my OPINION which differs to yours)

One of the most idiotic posts I’ve ever read on Mumsnet.
Speakong for all women who absolutely can’t like this practice. They just can’t.

So do gay men who receive also not like it either then?

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 16:40

*Quotes a previous poster. Who I agree with. That's been what some of the posters on here have been advocating, albeit in less direct language.
'Hey kids, anal can be great fun! Make sure you use lube, though!'.

It's a bit more complicated than that, at least it should be.*

Really? They said that. I've read the thread too.

I thought this thread had moved on a bit . That is so stirring the pot of what wasn't said anyway.

If you were going to give any education what would you actually say? Wouldn't that be a bit more positive and show some real consideration?

Not what could you put on here just to wind up someone who said something yesterday?

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:37

I think we're missing the influence consuming porn at a young age, or in excess in adult life, has on people's tastes and preferences.

Our tastes and preferences are formed by what we experience, especially if those experiences are intense. For children's earliest experiences to be exotic porn acts is hugely damaging. It quite literally trains their brain to respond sexually to that kind of act, and not to less harmful ones.

justasking111 · 13/08/2022 16:37

I had to Google golden showers when trump was mentioned in the media

I didn't know what pegging was until recently thanks to media coverage

Mainstream media is normalising discussion like this now

Has it enriched my education? Nope

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:34

Quotes a previous poster. Who I agree with. That's been what some of the posters on here have been advocating, albeit in less direct language.
'Hey kids, anal can be great fun! Make sure you use lube, though!'.

It's a bit more complicated than that, at least it should be.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 16:21

"I think there are different ideas about the messaging of “Education” :is it.
(a) Anal is “regularly enjoyed” by some couples and here ladies are some ideas about how you can provide pleasure to your man. or
(b) Anal is a niche practice which those who profit from exploitation would like you think is normal, and that “everyone else is doing it” so that you can coerce/be coerced into commoditizing your own sexuality, to have it sold back to you. By the way, children your age, have been left with life changing disabilities. And it’s nothing special anyway, and who want a poo-hat in their penis."

Could you polarise that message a bit more?

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 16:19

Men shouldn't be developing tastes that are dangerous for their partners to fulfill. Sex used to be thrilling enough without extreme/exotic elements thrown in. Seeking ever greater thrills is a problem, not a goal.

But 🤷‍♀️

Tillsforthrills · 13/08/2022 16:18

ImWell · 13/08/2022 00:28

The human body was not “designed” at all. Even if we assume that you were using a clumsy metaphor for the effects of evolution, though, it’s still a facile thing to write.

We we’re not “designed” to ride bikes, wear clothes, live in houses, or go to the cinema either, yet no-one’s stupid enough to claim that we therefore shouldn’t do any of these.

Show quote history

How very presumptuous to believe in evolution and to presume everyone else does. Do one with your condescending comment.

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:17

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 11:29

@AdamRyan it's called a factual analysis of the issue this woman and probably many others are facing

Not sure if you're struggling to read some of these posts properly but I wasn't saying it's a good thing that men like kink therefore women with more boring sexual tastes are left aside.

It's just natural when the majority of kinks are more pleasurable and less dangerous for men than women.

If they drive pleasure from 100 different sexual practices and women drive pleasure from 10 there is a huge mismatch in what would be mutually enjoyable for both parties.

Men shouldn't be developing tastes that are dangerous for their partners to fulfill. Sex used to be thrilling enough without extreme/exotic elements thrown in. Seeking ever greater thrills is a problem, not a goal.

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:09

I'm with @FreudayNight :

"I think there are different ideas about the messaging of “Education” :is it.
(a) Anal is “regularly enjoyed” by some couples and here ladies are some ideas about how you can provide pleasure to your man. or
(b) Anal is a niche practice which those who profit from exploitation would like you think is normal, and that “everyone else is doing it” so that you can coerce/be coerced into commoditizing your own sexuality, to have it sold back to you. By the way, children your age, have been left with life changing disabilities. And it’s nothing special anyway, and who want a poo-hat in their penis."

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:07

Haven't finished catching up, but returning to the appropriateness of user names, I notice we now have 'TuffyAppleBottom'!!

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 15:21

They can't even make guns illegal in the US and people are still smoking cigs and drinking too much alcohol and are still being a massive burden on the NHS because of it.

More Education is desperately needed it's one of the few tools readily available.

I cba to argue on here what form this education should take or when except tbh it sort of has to be early on or 🤷‍♀️

excitingusername · 13/08/2022 14:44

There are laws - it's just not enough. And the porn companies are very powerful.

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:41

@excitingusername I don't know anything about the industry, or how what can be put on the internet is regulated. I suppose it is mostly unregulated. It's quite bizarre to me when you consider there are rules in publishing but don't appear to be any when it comes to the internet.

excitingusername · 13/08/2022 14:35

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:26

Would it be OTT to ask that internet porn be made illegal? Books and magazines can, in theory be kept out of the hands of minors. With the filmed stuff it seems very easy for children to access. It also seems to have a stronger effect on male psychology. So would campaigning for a ban be reasonable or is there some freedom of speech issue or something similar I have missed.

Yeah, freedom of expression and also completely impossible. The best thing to do is regulate it as tightly as possible. Force porn companies to comply with strict laws.

greywinds · 13/08/2022 14:29

Maybe porn needs a tax like other things we consume that are bad for us? Porn damages consumers and people that interact with the consumers of it, and plenty of money has been made selling it...the nhs is already picking up the externalities of it.

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:26

Would it be OTT to ask that internet porn be made illegal? Books and magazines can, in theory be kept out of the hands of minors. With the filmed stuff it seems very easy for children to access. It also seems to have a stronger effect on male psychology. So would campaigning for a ban be reasonable or is there some freedom of speech issue or something similar I have missed.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 14:19

Porn has as much to do with real life sex as the Matrix does to the average bar fight. And yet it's the primary source material we are raising each generation on, in terms of sexuality and sexual expression.

Yes couldn't agree more.

Porn is the problem. It's a literal tidal wave.

CrazyBatLady66 · 13/08/2022 14:15

Fuwari · 13/08/2022 14:01

I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago

I personally think this is exactly it. Some men (probably more than we realise given the popularity of this type of porn) feel emasculated by women now being more “equal” to them. It’s men putting women “back in their place” via violent acts. I’m not sure if they even realise that’s what they’re doing, but I think it’s a big part of it.

You can’t pinch your secretaries bum anymore (and in fact men are just as likely to be the admin nowadays) but hey you can watch a woman take it up the ass from a gang of men and seemingly “love it”. You might be expected to wash the dishes now but then you can go and watch a woman being humiliated on your phone. It sickens me to be honest.

We have gained so much in some areas, but I feel we have lost so much in others. So many men just don’t respect women. They have sisters, mothers, daughters themselves but still want to do things that they’d hate for someone to do to their loved ones. But it doesn’t stop them.

Yes I agree. It’s sad and frightening that a whole generation has grown up with porn as sex education. I agree there should be tougher regulations to try and stop underage watching. Not sure how that can be done though

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