Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

@picklemewalnuts I agree. The only thing is that without measured education, they look to porn for answers- and that has caused so many issues!

I wonder if they like it in the same way I used to like a one night stand. The thrill of a subversive act.

Around 25% of heterosexual couples have and enjoy anal sex regularly

Surely that should read “Around 25% of heterosexual couples who replied to the survey have and enjoy anal sex regularly”? I doubt that the less adventurous person would even respond to such a survey, so I imagine that the figure is a lot lower than 25%.

I was open minded, Tried it twice with both husbands, both times totally horrible peculiar sensation and felt like shitting glass for several days after. I can only conclude the sensation of pushing it up is more pleasurable than receiving it- maybe we should see if partners ok with a dick sized strap on up there first.

@ChickenChop @Mojoj

I think it's quite interesting that you both refuse to believe that I, and other posters, actually enjoy anal!

I am almost 40 and am confident in what I like and don't like- and know my body well enough to know what feels pleasurable and what does not.

YOU might not enjoy it. That's cool. But please don't reign to tell me what I do and do not actually enjoy. That really takes away any sense that women are autonomous beings with their owns needs and turn ons.

Shock horror, I often even enjoy anal toys when masturbating- no men around then to impress! Just me!

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

It concerns me that via porn and a sexualised society, young people are being exposed to a far wider range of sex acts, and thus desiring to try them. It seems a million miles away from young people exploring each other's bodies and discovering what feels good.

I find that sad. I'm not convinced education/porn- a greater knowledge- is actually assisting youngsters.

@StClare101 absolutely I could not agree more! My DS is five and I already talk to him about consent!!

This is a very interesting point, I’m glad you said this as I was just discussing consent with my teen and this is a point worth discussing. Seems so obvious now that I have read it.

@UglyNameChange actually you are right, it probably isn't helpful to name call. It's just very frustrating that just because some people choose not to do something, and that is totally fine and completely up to them, that it makes certain topics more taboo and therefore less likely to be discussed when actually what we need is space for discussion. And people shut down when someone is so vehement against something and therefore might be less likely to ask for support when they need it.

You'll never convince me that women like anal sex, no matter how many times some posters on here say they love it.

It's driven by men and porn and it's become mainstream and normalised and women 'think' they like it

And yes, I know full well I'll be pounced on but I don't care!

@excitingusername

Yep thank god my mother was ahead of the times. Unfortunately I was still a dumb 16 year old who at the time consented to being filmed during another act. Young women really need this hammering home.

I'm guessing you don't know what a prostate gland is

@justasking111 those comments are so unhelpful and actually set the whole issue back. As noted on this thread, anal sex can be pleasurable for both men and women. Many women enjoy it and want to include it in their sex lives, too. It's about safety and communication and education and risk reduction.

I think the modern 'consent' thing is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. I 'consented' to many things when I was an idiotic 16 year old - if the culture around you is sexually toxic and too politically stifled to tell the truth about dangerous sexual behaviour it means that many people are going to suffer despite their so-called 'consent'. Being truly 'informed' the dangers of anal sex, would be politically controversial and people would not like it cos prejudice. So sexual liberation means rapey teen culture.

@picklemewalnuts I can tell you with certainty a lot of people are equally unaware of the risks of vaginal and oral sex, as well as mutual masturbation and sharing sex toys. People can give consent without being aware of the risks, on both sides. It's about education of the risks so that consent is more informed. It's not like men know the risks and are hiding them from women.

I had an ex, who thought he was a bad boy, who insisted til his last breath it was gay and yet asked for a finger up the bum weeks later. Men are damn liars, believe me.

Boys need to be taught about enthusiastic consent. Anything less is at best coercion and at worst assault.

I have two boys. I will be teaching them that porn is not real life as well.

I was anally raped when I was 22. The man I was dating simply took his penis out of my vagina and into my arse in one thrust. I was in pain for days and had medical problems for years. It took me a long time to realise it was rape. I was embarrassed, got no medical assistance, and ended up needing an operation when I was 28.

Both men and women have assholes, although maybe you don't.

Also, I'm not saying you husband is a liar, he may well be repulsed but I wouldn't take a man's word for it, particularly if he knows you despise it. All men say they don't like a finger up the bum but...

@FreudayNight around 25% of heterosexual couples routinely have consensual anal sex.

Surprisingly not a hugely dissimilar figure to MSM.

It's usually the 4th or 5th most common sexual act reported- after oral on a penis, oral on a vagina, penetrative vaginal sex, and mutual masturbation. I believe it is similar in frequency to using sex toys. I'd need to check.

So no one is being "validated". It can be a perfectly normal part of someone's sex life- so we need to understand and manage risk.

@11GrumpsaGrumping

If you really do work in the sexual health field, do you really think calling other’s ”pearl clutcherers” is good or healthy thing?

If men want a different sensation fine. There's the cheese grater, spiraliser and vacuum cleaner attachment to experiment with

@excitingusername what do you mean? Why can't we address the risks of anal for gay and bisexual MSM?

I think you'd be surprised to know there is a ton of information supporting safer anal sex in the MSM community.

Equally a lot of MSM don't have anal sex full stop, or don't receive penetrative anal sex.

Porn for MSM is just as damaging as porn for non-MSM- themes are very similar!

So why can't we address "gay sex?" Or is this just your opinion totally unfounded in fact?

I’m 27 and have on one occasion had a man start choking me without asking if it was something I wanted and to a pressure that left a mark. I also had one guy try and spit in my mouth and not understand why I didn’t want that. Thankfully I’ve mainly been in long term relationships with nice men so those are two isolated experiences but I have similar age friends with some right horror stories. I do wonder if as many men were like this before the generations that grew up on porn!