Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

I tried it twice (just to check I didn't like it) - the second time ex was scandalised when his penis came out with a little poo hat, and I remember wondering what on earth he expected!

It is all part of the utter disregard for women's humanity - ex was going down that path, with me he'd just got to 'I do not care if you enjoy it' but what made me end it was the actual, in my hands evidence of his cheating, and that being a poor woman - girl really - covered in bruises, telling him she couldn't wait for him to come back and give her some more. I just couldn't have someone that could do that in the house with me and the kids for one minute longer when I found that.

Apart from most women not liking anal, I just feel sad that there’s no romance anymore. And that is why I’m very unlikely to have another relationship.

I think it's wrong to talk about liking it.

Truly I do. I have utterly no doubt some women like it. And being whipped and choked and all types of other harmful things. Why wouldn't women have a wife range of fetishes and kinks? Men do.

The issue isn't the liking it. The issue is normalising it. Women don't need widespread education on anal sex anymore than we need it on being whipped or choked. What we need is a widespread understanding that those things are potentially very dangerous and should only be done with somebody who cares about you and who can be trusted.

I agree that porn culture has made this a more common sexual act. Women are shown in porn as really enjoying it and I hear that there are women on here who say that they do and that is obviously their choice and hopefully they have made that choice without being pressured as I am sure some people have, but I wonder how many women feel they have to consent to anal sex to keep their partners. It worries me, especially with young women who may not feel confident saying no. I have one friend who is around the same age as me who said she consented to it as she felt she would lose her partner and then felt awful afterward. I have never tried it as when I have had medical procedures that involved even a finger or instrument up the backside it has not felt pleasant! Plus I don't see how a woman can get stimulation from anal as there is not anything there like your clitoris.
As an older woman in my mid-50s I do not remember this being "a thing" and I think the wide availability of porn now being on the internet has popularised it. My husband who has more experience with porn than I do lol said that anal sex in porn films became more popular when videos etc came over from the USA in the 90s.

I have had a fair few sexual partners, not that many lol, but I have not been with the same man for life, and no one ever asked me or attempted it.
Same as shaving pubic hair off completely this was not something that many people did, we just gave it a bit of a trim or did the bits that hung out of bikini bottoms before holidays! Now, apparently, most women under 30 do not have pubic hair according to a gynae nurse colleague. This I think has been popularised by porn, obviously, it is a lot less harmful, just itchy in my limited experience. Just wondered if any other older women on here have had the same experience of not being asked for anal sex.

Fully agree with you here! It's not for everyone, but some of us do like it. If it's safe, consensual and you do it correctly its absolutely fine.

What is it?

Don't like it don't do it. I tried it and didn't particularly like it but if some do then carry on. Totally up to the individuals and their relationship. As long as it not under duress or coercive.

Previous post referred to a pp claiming 11 grumps said it well.

No she didn’t- she talked utter rubbish. Read the guardian piece . Doctors make it clear that the female anatomy is different there.
To my mind anything in sex that you have to prepare for mentally is not happening.

I’d love to see your source date for that ( and something tells me it will be gathered from a website frequented by anal sex enthusiasts).

Completely agree with this.

some of the comments on this page come across like it’s wrong to like something.

it’s not for everyone and I would never make anyone feel ashamed of things that they get sexual gratification from (unless it’s illegal!).

Genuinely cannot imagine any woman enjoying it. Grim. Don’t believe a word it . Plenty of ways to get your kicks but having a willy up the bum sure isn’t one of them.

People are capable of saying no.

But I renin steadfast in my belief that women only enjoy it because men have taught them to

I know, it is amazing that some women actually claim to have some agency in their decision making or be able to decide independently what turns them on. Silly girls.

God this is awful.

Why does this make me feel lucky that as I approach 40 I've not only never had someone 'accidentally' try it but have never even been asked?

I don't give a fuck what consenting adults get up to. I do give a fuck that young, inexperienced women (and girls!) are being led to believe that so-called 'vanilla' sex is boring and therefore they are boring.

Many men find anal sex to be quite uncomfortable or painful and not pleasurable at all. Some gay men choose to never receive as they do not find it pleasurable at all. A penis near a prostate is not an automatic pleasure source. Some men enjoy it as do some women.

Don't sleep with so many men.

Women's anuses are no different than men's- what nonsense!

It's not only the anus involved, though. Receiving anal is physically pleasurable almost immediately for most men because it indirectly stimulates the prostate. Sure, some women certainly can experience pleasure from the same act but it's not the exact same set of physical sensations from the same sources. I think part of the issue - not with porn but with regular old non-rapey men pushing for anal sex from women - is that a lot of men genuinely don't know much about female anatomy and women's sexual response as distinct from male, and are expecting any and all women to feel pleasure almost immediately and without much preparation or foreplay. Which, I suppose, is confusing for him and disappointing for her if it doesn't happen.

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Some people enjoy a bit of pain and fear, but really it belongs in s and m. Blame 50 shades. It's different for men who have the prostate and can get some pleasure from it. Women who say it's fun must have some unique wiring going on with pain pleasure sensors. Don't like men thinking pressuring women into this is ok. It goes with all the choking, spitting, slapping misogyny of porn. Utterly depressing for women.

I should add that more health education is always a good thing and teaching both gay men and young men about the safest and healthiest ways to engage in anal sex if they choose to do so is important.

The article really just doesn't have evidence to support that it is any different for women than men and many gay men engage in anal sex.

THAT is the last thing we should teach young women. They need to learn that they have a right to enjoy sex and that their pleasure centres (very rich pleasure centres)are not located in their anus, that orgasms start in another place and that anal sex is gross anyway.

The actual article is a very brief commentary that uses one study that imaged anuses to support their findings. I am not syaing it isn't true but the article isn't all that convincing or well supported

www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj.o1975

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This. ^ I tried it once (with my DH) some 20 years ago. He didn't coerce me or anything, we both collectively decided to try it. I had to have 4 shots of whiskey, and get quite tipsy, to get enough confidence to do it!!!

I fucking HATED it. As a pp said, it felt like having a shit backwards. Even though I consented and we used lube, I still hurt and ached afterwards, and it felt so weird and horrible. It was about 5 days before I could shit! (Sorry, TMI!)

DH kept saying he was so sorry, as I said it had hurt, but it wasn't his fault. I said I never wanted to do it again, and he was fine with that. He was not bothered.

As @ChickenChop and some other posters have said, I find it very hard to believe that anyone enjoys it, and I think they have been brainwashed. In addition, even if women do consent, and they are not instantly hurt, the long term affects can be dire. They can suffer from anal incontinence, and a slack anus (anal sphincter muscle damage.) Anal sex is a common cause of faecal incontinence.