Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

They don’t know, which is why they shouldn’t be saying that doing it in moderation is safe.

I didn't read anyone saying that tbh

Certainly none claimed to be medics or have data. It was all very personal.

They don’t know, which is why they shouldn’t be saying that doing it in moderation is safe.

Why we have to fall over ourselves in the first place to be fair to the bumsex brigade in our education

Yawn. So tedious. Other people have got their point across without resorting to unfunny jokes and 'shaming cos u care'. You don't care about anyone's sexual health or wellbeing, or you wouldn't keep being an arse. Nobody is going to pay kind to what you write.

Others have made good points.

Much more succinct than me

If you read back you will see posters claiming that a certain amount (not too much) was safe. They were, however, unable to say what that safe amount was. That inability means that the claim that some anal sex is safe should not be made. There is no evidence to support it. There is, however, abundant evidence of injury being caused by it.

sorry @TullyApplebottom I didn't read it like that all.

I read it as people describing their own sexual practice and that it was 'safe' ( if they used that word ? did they? ) for themselves. I didn't see anybody making claims in opposition to the original article. Some people mentioned the frequency they did it. ( tmi!)

They were, however, unable to say what that safe amount was.

I doubt they know. I took it that it was just what they liked to do in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Their right to 'not be shamed' as they engage with behaviour most find repulsive, trumps the needs of women and children's physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

🙄 who thinks the needs of women and children should be trumped?

Who? Probably exactly no one on this thread.

There is a horrendous problem right now with what porn is saying and teaching young people, men and women. It's frightening that young woman or men are feeling they must do anything sexually.

Equally If you think telling women what they should or shouldn't be doing sexually on an internet thread helps in any way or is any different. crack on. It's just as arrogant as most porn.

You can jig it up as being about the needs of others. But it's just as controlling and dominating.

Maybe you did want a discussion about this subject in a non totalitarian way but I doubt it . I don't think you really care about the needs of^^ any of the others that you spout on about.

There Is a great deal of commonality on here but lost under a tidal wave of people' s personal objections to sexual practice.

I fear for my kids. I talk to them about personal choice. That is not respected on here.

So don't make me laugh saying it's about the personal health and well being of other women and children. Nah it's all about you.

I do agree with @TullyApplebottom that it's probably a small amount of women who like it. I suspect that is because they are masochistic, or have a n unusually high pain threshold. Like masochists, they are entitled to pursue their interests, but we don't suggest educating the public on flagellation because a minority enjoys it. The BMJ article from @AdamRyan is quite horrifying, showing that many men know it will hurt but push partners to do it anyway.

Why we have to fall over ourselves in the first place to be fair to the bumsex brigade in our education

Yawn. So tedious. Other people have got their point across without resorting to unfunny jokes and 'shaming cos u care'. You don't care about anyone's sexual health or wellbeing, or you wouldn't keep being an arse. Nobody is going to pay kind to what you write.

Others have made good points.

If you read back you will see posters claiming that a certain amount (not too much) was safe. They were, however, unable to say what that safe amount was. That inability means that the claim that some anal sex is safe should not be made. There is no evidence to support it. There is, however, abundant evidence of injury being caused by it.

@AdamRyan yes, one of the links on here led to a survey where the majority of women found it painful. The survey explained that for some women pain did not exceed pleasure, or they enjoyed the pain as part of the experience. I may read it again, as I can't remember what proportion of women that was. I think people's sensitivity and relationship to pain is obviously very different. That's why masochism exists. Or why people will have different levels of pain with the same injury. However, I think you are right that women should know it's likely to be painful, in case they believe the media telling them it may feel 'strange' but that's ok.

Why we have to fall over ourselves in the first place to be fair to the bumsex brigade in our education -the idea that we have to have an empathetic, 'rightthink' response to dangerous and repugnant sexual behaviour is the dystopia we're already in. The small minority prove that they are not willing to simply be 'tolerated' and keep it in the bedroom, they demand sycophantic affirmation from those who find it to be undesirable. Their right to 'not be shamed' as they engage with behaviour most find repulsive, trumps the needs of women and children's physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

And adding to that it's ultimately so we don't offend a certain demographic - so yet again male sexual gratification is the most important thing over the sexual health and wellbeing of women and girls.

We have to have data in support of the proposition that most women don’t like it. Yet oddly, those suggesting that a certain amount of anal sex is not risky felt no need to produce any data in support of that.

If you're going to discuss it in schools yes, you're going to need data obviously.

I didn't see any one saying "it is not risky" or arguing that it was 'not risky ' as a practice, only that they themselves happily practised it.

Which is different. And no data needed.

25% of women do it, as stated numerous times on this thread, so 75% don't do it

Cool - give out the stats as they exist.

I know it's been stated lots of times - but a lot of posters disputed that it was too many anyway. But hey I couldn't possibly say. Only know about me and my circle ( sort of )

I'm not a teacher, but would think the fairest least shameful way to educate teenagers about this would be to discuss the studies findings.

This

The Queen of Spain’s Beard. Funniest episode of the weakest series.

I don't think you can knowingly point that out until you know what 'most ' actually means. You would have to measure that. 🤷‍♀️

It has been measured

25% of women do it, as stated numerous times on this thread, so 75% don't do it

A survey of teenagers found "Few young men or women reported finding anal sex pleasurable and both expected anal sex to be painful for women. This study offers explanations for why anal sex may occur despite this."

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996

I'm not a teacher, but would think the fairest least shameful way to educate teenagers about this would be to discuss the studies findings.

Not pointing out that it is commonly not pleasurable or even painful for women would seem negligent

We have to have data in support of the proposition that most women don’t like it. Yet oddly, those suggesting that a certain amount of anal sex is not risky felt no need to produce any data in support of that.

@picklemewalnuts @TullyApplebottom I was reading it as Tufty Applebottom. Thought it was great! 😄

Yep. I think in school it would also be useful to point out most women don't find it pleasurable, to make it clear that it's not weird to not try it.

I don't think you can knowingly point that out until you know what 'most ' actually means. You would have to measure that. 🤷‍♀️

You could definitely say and emphasise that " it's not weird to not try it"

Ah! A black adder fan with a poor memory...

It could say 'anal sex is dangerous for women and could result in permanent injury. If you really want to do it use a lot of lube and go slow.'

Yep. I think in school it would also be useful to point out most women don't find it pleasurable, to make it clear that it's not weird to not try it.

Not a Blackadder fan, eh?

I'm really sad. I've been misreading Tully's name. I thought she was TuffyAppleBottom. Much more appropriate for the thread.

@TullyApplebottom Absolutely. Maybe consent is the wrong word. It's not enough that someone agrees to something, maybe under duress or pressure.

@HRTQueen I agree. I have seen an article written by a woman encouraging women to try this. The attitude seemed to be - this is a fun new thing you can do in your sex life and any 'liberated; woman should give it a go. I also got really annoyed with Fleabag for making it seem the sort of casual thing a cool, modern woman might do. There was something really off about that show. I am sure there were some scenes that seemed sympathetic to a man who sexually harassed women. I suppose I favour a stark campaign highlighting the truth to women - it's dangerous. Because some people insist couples who want to try this need 'educating' I am pointing out there is very little they need to know. In fact it would fit on a billboard.

Unfortunately the advice is far more geared towards anal is great if done correctly

this is in women’s publications that are often aimed at very young women and teenagers

with little reference if any at all of the dangers. In the cosmopolitan article I read it even claimed a little blood is nothing to be concerned about

this is shocking and disgusting this is how porn and male enjoyment is the leading the narrative around sec and sec acts

It’s very concerning it’s terribly sad for young people today and it is absolutely linked to the degrading and aggression towards women that is in mainstream porn

I heard someone say this a while ago: bollocks to consent. You should be looking for enthusiasm.
of course, if men held themselves to that standard, there would get fewer of their demands met. And we couldn’t have that, could we? That would never do