Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

@Miffee how's the view up there?

So someone shouldn't do something they find sexually pleasurable because other women might get pressured ? I'm definitely not a cool girl but what goes on in other people's bedrooms isn't our business unless there's force involved.

You're so cool.

Friend did the same to get her partner back . He ditched her then bragged about it . She had to sit on a rubber ring for ages . Just hearing that made me squirm

I've masturbated on my own with anal stimulation as it gave a better stronger orgasm. I don't get how that means I've been brainwashed by men 🤣🤣. In fact I have to ask my OH for anal he would never do it unless I ask it's not his favourite thing.

Oh, and I’ve always been told by my male partners that they love it, not because it’s naughty, but because the sphincter muscle is so much tighter and more responsive…leads to a helluva more intense orgasm for them.

I agree @LaughingCat 👌🏻

@gnilliwdog the article is scaremongering and not fact. It’s been a perfectly normal part of men’s and wine’s sex lives for hundreds of years. If women have explained to you how they’ve made it work for them then that’s a positive. You don’t have to to try it. It’s not gaslighting 🤦🏼‍♀️ Your ignorance is astounding. Grow up.

Apparently it feels tighter . Plus they don't have the worry of getting a woman pregnant. Selfish reasons

I’ve hated anal and loved it. It all depends on the knowledge level of the guy and the amount of time spent in preparation. With the right precautions, it isn’t dangerous health-wise and can feel amazing.

But go in dry or without knowing what you’re doing, or double dipping, and you’re in trouble. Like absolutely anything sex-wise, the more you research, the better it will be. Oh, and obviously, practice makes perfect 😁

The fact that women are suffering physical trauma and fecal incontinence from this is sad.

Anuses are not designed for such activities-
especially not without copious amounts of lube and hopefully a condom.

@ladymaiasaura The actual article in the BMJ is very short and doesn't provide really any evidence to back that up. I am not saying it is or isn't true but the comments being quoted are based on the anecdotal experience of the two authors (who are both doctors working primarily and perhaps exclusively with female patients) and not on research. They cite one article to back up teir view but that article doesn't really reach the conclusions they are presenting about differences between men and women when it comes to anal sex. Maybe there is more research out there to support their personal opinions based on their professional practice but they didn't cite them in the BMJ article that the quotes are taken from.
www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj.o1975

I’m so sorry to read this……how can men think this is okay? It’s terrifying.

I have tried anal once with an ex-partner and it was me who instigated it because I was curious. As we were doing it I didn’t feel pleasure or pain….it was strange, but shamefully I did find myself thinking, “I bet he thinks I’m so good in bed because I’m letting him do this.”

We never did it again and I’ve never done it again since (it was about 14 years ago).

My husband jokes about it every now and then but he knows it’s a no-go area and that it’s not going to happen. When we have discussed it he can’t really articulate why it’s a ‘thing’ for men but in a round-a-bout way he does imply it’s just something “naughty” to do and as though it’s a medal of honour if a man can find a woman who will have anal sex with him.

I was reading a thread the other day about a woman who’d had anal sex with a partner and how she was embarrassed as he’d got poo on him and how she had leaked poo and that there was poo residue in her underwear and all I could think was, “How is this sexy?!”

I’m sure there are a lot of women who do genuinely enjoy it but I also believe a huge majority of women do it to please their partner or to be seen as “cool”, and yes I do believe it has become normalised now.

The fact we have reached a point in time where women feel pressured to have a penis inside their rectum, potentially causing lots of injuries, just so she isn’t seen as “boring” is absolutely terrifying.

Part of the issue is that often you're dating someone you met online that none of your friends or family knows, may not even be from your local area and if they don't behave well with regard to consent/boundaries, they can ghost you and there are no consequences. You end up with the anonymisation of sex.

Shouldn't idealise the past though, it certainly wasn't better, plenty of anonymous sex available with women not deemed worthy of respect in the past.

Don't give advice on how to do it more safety if women choose to? I think that's exactly what should be said. Use lube, go slow. Would you rather they have ripped anuses?

I do occasionally enjoy anal stimulation , the key is lube and preparation it shouldn't be a wham bam thing like portrayed in porn which will be causing the injuries. Porn stars will douche and use butt plug with lots of lube. Porn makes it out that the man can just stick his penis in with no conversation or prep.

So, anal sex is a normal part of everyday sex that women enjoy and it has been for hundreds of years. I enjoy it, I know a good portion of my close friends enjoy it and it’s definitely healthy and NORMAL in the right circumstances. However male centric, aggressive, unrealistic sex is not healthy. Yes porn absolutely pushes this toxic agenda. No women should ever feel pressured into anything especially by unrealistic expectations portrayed by porn. I don’t think porn is about to go away so we need to work at taking control of the narrative. Sadly this ain’t going to be quick. This is still a patriarchal society where men’s sexual needs control how sex is depicted in everyday culture. They control how we see ourselves and other women.

However I will say a good place for lots of people on here to start is to stop shaming women for liking anal sex. Some of the archaic and toxic attitudes displayed here towards things you might not enjoy yourself is nothing short of petty and childish.

Its considerably tighter for one. Despite all your protestations.

To those who enjoy it, ok you go for it. Don't gaslight other women by saying you have to work up to it, lube up and it's perfectly safe. The article makes it clear it's not. If you want to take risks with your health it's your right, but don't deny that I what you are doing.

And that's your right. You have the full right to not want any part of the various and sundry complex forms that sex and secuality can take nowadays. If you know what you like then good for you. You have that knowledge and thus should have the freedom to tell any partner what you will and won't engage in. Fair play.

Had a little lol at the 'come naturally' line since you metioned using contraception. To modern man nothing is really natural, not our clothes, our health care, our cars, the planes we take to go on holiday. Drawing that line in the bedroom is your right though.

whoosh! Thank you though. It’s been decades since anyone called me young.

im old enough to have been brought up on sex-tips from mizz suggesting alternating between hot and cold drinks when giving oral as opposed to “how to pose for Instagram when you can’t sit down and you’ve got a bruised neck”.

I agree with your post and I am horrified for young girls getting into dating these days.

I was in an 11 year relationship from about 2000 to 2011, so basically experienced dating before and after internet porn and smartphones. Nobody ever asked for anal in my younger years of dating, I remember a group of us girls finding it hilarious that one guy we knew tried to get girls to do it, we gave him a gross nickname about it and laughed at him.

Dating in more recent years, every guy would try it, some without even asking. There's a generation of girls being gaslighted into thinking it's a normal part of normal sex and my heart absolutely breaks for them.

*I hate the attitude, prominently displayed on this thread, that if a woman actually likes anything that you don't, or anything that a man likes, she's a pick me cool girl who's brainwashed by the patriarchy and desperate to be special.

Stop patronising and putting women down, and take your superiority complex back to your echo chamber.*

This @Thatswhyimacat. And I commented earlier on a poster being insulting to other women. Doesn't sound like somebody with any genuine concern, some others do, of course.

The irony of calling somebody else a cool girl as you insult a woman for doing something private in their sex life is wild. I think there's an animosity towards other women that's not bred from anything good.

Nobody here has promoted anal sex. So there is no reason for others to insult besides their own insecurity about being boring. Get your point across respectfully and reasonably.

Choking is never safe. Non-fatal strangulation was added as a specific offence in the new Domestic Abuse Act partly for that reason. Young women should realise the very large risk they are taking with their lives by agreeing to being choked.

Also..please lets not start on the religious nonsense as though religion ever led to a healthy relationship with sex. It in fact is often a massive cause for sexual abuse or sexual repression. The days of missionary, in marriage and only to procreate are over thankfully, as too are the days of shaming women for enjoying sex. Harking back to some mythical day when religious ideas created a society where there was better societal sexual expression is a fantasy. It ignores the countless sex scandals involving kids throughout religious and secular bodies, sex scandals and sectrets hidden by families, 'unmarried mothers,' the repression of homsexuals and the abuse of women through their ignorance about sex and sexuality to exploit them for patriarchal pleasure. Shamefully this meant that marital rape only became illegal by case law in 1991 and not fully illegal by legislation in the UK until 2003.

So, no, I don't think the loss of religion has lead to us sleep walking into a moral vaccuum where vice has taken hold. I think the vices are more readily discussed and seen today than ever before while things like porn have allowed the evolution of vices to evolve and spread at an expediated rate. Such things are countered with education and open dialogue, not religious guilt, shame and repression.