Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

@picklemewalnuts interesting question. Physically, I really like the feeling of fullness and the pressure. I orgasm a lot more intensely when anal is combination with clitoral play. I like the tightness and I think I can feel more intimately the size, shape, etc of my partner- if I'm with one- because overall it's tighter.

If I have a partner who is too big though it's too painful and a total no go area. I also have to be in the right mood- certain times of the month when I am really horny I usually want it, but other times I don't.

Mentally, I am also turned on by giving myself completely to someone, and by knowing how good it feels for both of us, and by getting the audio feedback loop of pleasure which therefore increases my pleasure. I have thankfully never been coerced anally nor has anyone tried to jump holes without my express permission- so I think that was lucky.

Interestingly my ex husband never liked it so we never did it, and I missed it!

Well, every day’s a school day.

I’m not British, and now I wonder which other laws I’ve been inadvertently breaking here.

Is it still OK to give a baby booze?

A good, balanced post @BenCoopersSupportWren.

We need to find a way of empowering girls to feel comfortable saying "no", and when the time comes, only saying "yes" to something they feel fully informed about - especially any risk - and enthusiastic towards. We need to help them recognise what is genuine sexual curiosity, and what is a potential trauma response.

Maybe we need to find a way to stop boys boasting about brown wings/every holes a goal and that this is harmful to girls and they should care. Maybe we should make it clear it isn't an experience everyone should try and that most people don't enjoy it?

Why is the focus in suggesting its a problem because girls don't say no? Feels a bit like victim blaming.....

@BenCoopersSupportWren excellent post.

@msssm totally!!!

@LivesinLondon2000 I agree completely with your second post. I am definitely not a man pleasing woman (ask my ex husband) but I believe many are. It's so hard to encourage empowerment and experimentation whilst also building up self esteem, boundary setting skills, safety, and mitigating against the impacts of porn. It's not just young women who are affected, either. It's a whole new world for young men, too, and a lot of pressure and expectation to perform and do things they aren't naturally comfortable with either- but no one teaches them anything else

Women need to taught to tell men to fuck off if they don't want to do something. Instead of doing it just to please them.

If we like it and understand the risks surely that’s up to the woman to decide. It’s not about normalising it, to me it is normal and something some women do enjoy. Surely you can see that point. I understand that some see it as disgusting but to try and make people feel like that is not ok. If we fully consent to it and understand what could happen then that should be enough.

Whether I have or like anal sex or not is irrelevant to this thread. This is about a societal issue, not our personal preferences.

It's unhelpful when posters state as if incontrovertible fact that X sexual practice, whatever it is, can't possibly be liked by any woman / is 'gross', or that any woman who claims to enjoy it is 'brainwashed'. There are plenty of things I have no interest in trying, but I accept that other women may enjoy them. Similarly, the women who do enjoy activities which carry a higher degree of risk than the norm have a responsibility when they talk about those activities. There is a difference between normalising a practice and normalising conversation about that practice, which should highlight the risks. For example, there is simply no safe way of sexually choking someone, and anyone who claims otherwise has merely been lucky to date. That is a practice where there needs to be conversation about it, but that conversation needs to be "this is extremely risky, women die, yes some women may enjoy the sensations of being partially strangled and if you're one of them that doesn't make you weird, but the benefit is absolutely not worth the risk". Similarly, the more we learn about the risks to women of anal sex, the more we should be highlighting those risks.

There is a big difference between a woman in a sexual relationship (whether short- or long-term) with a man who respects her, her boundaries and her preferences deciding to try something from a position of being informed and confident of being able to stop it if she finds it unpleasant, and what is happening to far too many young women because of the pervasive influence of male-gaze porn (which is the majority of porn, of course) and particularly violent porn.

We need to find a way of empowering girls to feel comfortable saying "no", and when the time comes, only saying "yes" to something they feel fully informed about - especially any risk - and enthusiastic towards. We need to help them recognise what is genuine sexual curiosity, and what is a potential trauma response. We need to support them that it's okay to say "I don't care if everyone from the old woman down to the fly and spider she swallowed are trying this, I DON'T WANT TO", and we need to teach boys to respect their sexual partners, to accept "no" without coercion or shaming. Both sexes will benefit from understanding that the majority of modern porn is misogynistic and fake and is not a template for a healthy sex life. For girls, I think it starts not with setting healthy boundaries in sex but setting the bar higher in male partners full stop. We need to teach and support and model behaviour around not settling for any man because it's perceived as somehow better than being alone.

And we all, including on here, need to stop categorising women into 'prudes and pearl clutchers' or 'brainwashed cool girls'. Set your own boundaries for your own body; don't police other women setting theirs.

In Roman times it was common for men to do this to women/slaves and children - you think in a time of no medical help/poor sanitation/oft being pregnant and women's pipes being ruptured by childbirth you think that destroying the rectum was considered generally a good and desirable idea by the people who had no say in this culture? Progress was probably sodomy NOT being part of the female/child/boy experience and men not having complete entitlement to every part of everyone's bodies!

But carry on shoving stuff in places it shouldn't be in the name of 'liberation'. Women have always participated in their own oppression.

But they are different, women don't have a prostate gland. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't stimulating the prostate gland cause men to ejaculate?

@Pinkspice well said- this is why I'm against being told porn is normal relationships- no, it's been 'normalised' - and that's not the same thing. A lot of very nice women are told to get off their high horse about it if they aren't happy with partners constantly watching it , by both men and women , because they are told it's 'normal and we that aren't ok with it are just utter prudes. We all have different levels of what's normal and ok- and I've read far too many posts here where those who aren't ok with porn in their relationships are told to 'lighten up- it's normal' - just as I'm fine with those who on this thread genuinely like anal- but I don't expect to be told 'hey, these days it's normal' - maybe it is, but I won't be indulging - been there- got the ice pack!!

I have told you what the problem is. Indeed you quoted it. Yet you won't address it.

I wonder why?

Is it because you cannot justify your incessant wittering about enjoying putting things in your anus?

Please note I have no problem with you enjoying putting things in your anus, it's the wittering on I take issue with.

I remember a woman and her partner coming into A&E and she was bleeding like a stuck pig from her anus where the penis had torn her internally. Needed surgery in the end. Anyone bet she never had anal sex again?

I don't give a fuck of you think I'm a cool girl. I would prefer cool woman though.

@LivesinLondon2000 I agree

@ImWell @CrazyBatLady66 it was illegal until 1994 but never enforced...

*possible consequences

@Minecraftatemychild we don't teach that to kids! Equally it is possible, though rare, to get pregnant through anal sex. The opening of the anus isn't that far from the opening of the vagina, and if semen manages to leak out of one and enter the other (sorry, TMI), it's surprisingly good at getting where it's meant to be!

You are so close minded.

We are not saying we’re proud of anything, we are giving another view. So what if we “shove” things up our bums just like we do our vaginas but there’s no bashing about that. You are awfully judgemental of other peoples sex lives. If you like anal sex and are ok with the consequences then do it. If you don’t want to them don’t!! Simple

Hmm..did you read the article? Womens anus are apparently NOT like mens anuses for the reasons cited. But hey what do qualified medics and anatomists know compared to you?

this is the point- women are more prone to injury than men becuase of their different anatomy

Fucking hell @Miffee would you take a break?

You're far too partisan to be contributing anything meaningful to this thread. You're trying so hard to find the cool girls you're actually making yourself look like one!

Oh, and I'm not a feminist. Thay was a presumption made by another poster.

😉

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen I love that you think we anal-sex enjoyers have secret websites with secret research!

Will see what I can dig up.