Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

@DrShepsBall

It's already normalised

Pretending it's not is what leads to many on here thinking it's ok to sexually shame women for having different preferences to their own, and leads women to having no idea about the risks associated with anal sex

Educating about a subject doesn't make people more likely to do it. Did you have the same opinion on schools educating around sexual intercourse from year 5?

Completely agree

There's not much to educate about bum sex, and certainly not in schools. It just normalises a pretty crappy sexual activity. Pun not intended.

Perhaps you missed the part of my post where I said and we need to teach boys to respect their sexual partners, to accept "no" without coercion or shaming. Both sexes will benefit from understanding that the majority of modern porn is misogynistic and fake and is not a template for a healthy sex life.

God these comments show why most avoid AIBU for many topics

The absolutely unnecessary comments to and about women who enjoy anal sex is really quite shocking, if not surprising

I also disagree with PP around not educating on this subject. Education is the key to most of the worlds problems, the more young girls and young men know about their bodies, what's risky, what might feel nice but has risks attached and what do to in a wide range of situations is so important.

couldn’t agree more have said similar to my daughter !

Sex board has mostly men there.
Imagine that….

Thank you for this message, I wanted to say this but could not have done it half as eloquently as you did. This thread is getting hijacked by the "I love it" "I hate it", but it seems that everyone agrees that education about this is important? and as a caretaker of teenagers, well that's why I came on the thread. This was what I was looking for.

I’m sure I read another thread on here a while back about young women having anal sex to preserve their “virginity.”

Perhaps we should be teaching our daughters that if a guy is wanting to ‘do anal’ because ‘everyone does it’ her response at his first suggestion should be, ‘absolutely, get face down on your knees and I’ll start with four fingers up your arse for the first 5 minutes'.

If he declines and still pushes her she can then ask him why he wants to do to her that which he won’t countenance being done to himself. Play that ‘everyone does it’ right back at him.

Hopefully the hypocrisy alone will help her to walk away and find someone else who is instead interested in fulfilling and consensual sexual experiences for both parties.

Please note I have no problem with you enjoying putting things in your anus

Yet here you are, again, making derogatory comments about other people's choices.

it's the wittering on I take issue with.

Says the most frequent poster on this thread.

I didn't say it was risk free. I said the risks from vaginal sex are not comparable to anal sex. You falsely equate the two, I think so you can overlook the fact you enjoy something risky.

I need to read the research about the structural differences between male and female anuses in more detail. I expect there is more to it and other contributing factors.

I have repeatedly said though that we need to mitigate damage of the porn industry, educate women about boundaries and consent, educate all about active versus passive consent, and look at the relationship between safety, pleasure, and experimentation. I am not and have never said that everyone should have anal or that we should tell young women HOW to have anal as if it's expected. I do think that if people WANT to have anal, we should help them do it safely.

To the PP who said that vaginal sex was safe and risk free. What I meant was, there are inherent risks in all sex: risk of infection increases with dryness, women can experience pain if they aren't wet enough, cervixes can be hit and bruised, bleeding, pain, pregnancy, STI transmission- all potentially risks of vaginal sex and people need information about those risks and importantly about how to mitigate them. Oral sex can transmit STIs. My point was that consent is often given for all sorts of things without people realising all of the risks - which is where good education comes in.

Agree with @Thatswhyimacat

Except when they’re not. That’s the problem here. I completely accept that some people (men and women) genuinely enjoy receiving anal sex. Fine. But when porn turns it into a normal everyday standard sex act, it becomes much more difficult for teen girls and young women just starting their sexual lives to say to their partners ´no, that sounds gross and painful to me, I don’t want to try it’. They might believe they really do need to try it, even if it’s unappealing to them, just to make sure they don’t enjoy it. They might believe they need to do it to keep their partner interested or faithful. Education about injuries resulting from anal sex would give young women a cast iron reason to say ´no, not for me thanks, I heard it can make you shit yourself’.

This. Thankfully my husband is repulsed by the idea. " Why the hell would I want to put it up there when there's a purpose built hole at the front ?".
My friend's now exhusband was a great fan of anal, particularly when she was heavily pregnant. He would frequently tear her and cause bleeding. As a 'kindness' he would wait until she had healed before doing it again. What a prince.

Is this what you think or what you have been told to think??

God forbid a woman can form her own opinion. Anything we “think” we like is because men have made us think we like it. We have no feelings on our body because men tell us how to feel about ourselves and our bodies.
Are you me?? Can you feel what I feel or think what I think??

I wouldn't call 1 in 10 a "small risk"

The rate of fecal incontinence after childbirth is 2-6%. The higher figure is for wind incontinence.

Fecal incontinence is a horrible condition; we should be trying to minimise unnecessary causes, not trying to make out its normal so let's all do anal

"But carry on shoving stuff in places it shouldn't be in the name of 'liberation'. Women have always participated in their own oppression."

This.

Imagine this (as a I suspect a lot of male sexuality is driven by the desire for variety).

You have a teenage daughter. Suddenly she comes home complaining of terrible ear aches or pain in her nose or some such. Turns out her boyfriend has been shoving large enough inanimate objects in her ear or up her nose just for the kicks.

The doctor warns her of risk of ruptured ear drum or ruptured columella but no, your daughter says she likes it and is enjoying it, and likes to make her boyfriend happy because he gets turned on by it.

The orifice of the ear or nose is about the same in terms of suitability for objects which should not be there as an anus.

You might not like that but it does seem that some doctors, whilst being politically correct and not saying it is more important to them, on an anonymous basis are acknowledging that the anus is not designed to take a penis, and there can be long term serious health consequences of doing that.

I completely agree.

The timing, imho of being in my 50s, coincided with the accessibility to the internet and with it porn

what a lot of people don’t know is that a lot of modern technology and how the internet work is driven first by Porn. They have the money to be early adopters, and to fund research to drives innovation that reads porn users in

www.businessinsider.com/how-porn-drives-innovation-in-tech-2013-7?r=US&IR=T

The porn industry has the biggest video streaming sites and income than any other segment - it swamps the likes of netflicks or other streaming services that are still making a profit.

but to do that, the porn industry has to continually push the boundaries of what is acceptable and normal - otherwise users become bored of seeing the same things or experiencing the same things. People (mainly men it has to be said) are looking for thrills, the illicit, the things they dont do with their wives and girlfriends to get their kicks. Then when they see enough of it they believe that everyone else does this in real life and start asking or pressurising those wives, girlfriends or random dates for it,.

the internet let a gene out of the bag for the porn industry. The porn industry will continue to find a lot of the newer innovations in tech..and the tech companies remain complicit in this as it brings in the revenue for them

Anal, strangulation, queering, spitting, slapping in and on it will go relentlessly …..

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Some woman are not under pressure to have anal, some willingly enjoy it and have orgasms from anal, and of course anal was around before internet porn.

You haven’t read or understood the article correctly:

Reading the article in full shows that it refers to anal sex as being a risky behaviour because of its association with alcohol, drug use and multiple sex partners: in that context all sex all life is more risky.

The research also says that the risk is greater for woman then for men, it does say what the level of the risk is. I’ve read the original research and the risk is small with 9.9% woman having anal sex getting fecal incontinence vs 7.4% for those who don’t have anal ( for men anal incontinence is 2x more likely).

Other research says that up to 25% have fecal incontinence after childbirth.

The article also says if you have anorectal symptoms then not discussing anal sex as part of the diagnosis would be a failure on the part of the doctor.

As with all scientific research it’s important to understand what the data says, this doesn’t say that every woman or man will destroy themselves by having anal.

There’s been much talk about consensual anal, and how some posters enjoy it themselves, it’s part of their healthy sex life with their partner and so on - which is fine, of course. Their bodies, their and their partners choice, who are we to judge.

However I don’t feel the context for the concern expressed in the article is such consensual, perhaps longer term or committed relationships where there is established trust, care and perhaps love too.

The influence of more explicit and violent porn which includes anal, but also name calling, slapping, choking, forced restraint and even, god forbid, fisting, is escalating in its nature, and it influences people to expect these activities not as part of a consensual ongoing relationship but something that is to be expected or indulged immediately, during a one night stand, a short term hook up and so on.

It’s presented as ‘normal’, that these behaviours require no discussion, no pre-agreed consent. That personal boundaries are ‘vanilla’ and boring. Not ‘cool’. And who wants to be the ‘uncool’ girl in the dating pool.

I remember last year in the run up to ‘Love Island’ one of the girls was quoted in a pre-show introductory feature enthusiastically stating how she ‘loved it rough’ in her sex life. This was repeated across all the tabloids and social media sites that carry blanket coverage of the LI contestants and the show. It felt so damaging that this was how she was introduced to the public, the one in the blue bikini who ‘loves it rough’.

It’s careless messaging like this, added to the desensitising effect of watching increasingly violent porn, girls being told that prostitution and Only Fans is ‘empowering’ (and that to think otherwise is prudish), that is really screwing up the dynamics of sexual relationships in younger people. As always it’s the women who suffer the most, particularly in terms of safety and injury.

Once upon a time if a man choked me, slapped me, or penetrated my body without my consent it would be considered a crime, these days many would argue he was a guy who ‘loves it rough’. Nothing to see here.

@ANewNameANewDay I couldn't agree more.