Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

@Miffee is definitely saying not to educate

Has said so in many different comments

It would even be better going back to when girls were taught it was disgusting and dirty

The good old days

How romantic

I'm sure it will catch on, discussing every time you get down to it

@PollyRockets - yes of course. If you are in a monogamous long term relationship, you can discuss how you would like to initiate sexual activity and what cues may mean you’re not really into it at the moment. But way better to discuss things explicitly rather than assuming the other person is fine.

I don’t think anyone is saying do not educate

but to not shame a man who wants rough anal sexual with a women

I absolutely do feel he needs to be shamed but he won’t be will he

and let’s not pretend in this day and age anal sex is considered a shameful act it isn’t it’s quite the opposite it’s been normalised as part of sex and it shouldn’t be

The last thing we need is for women who do enjoy anal to feel ashamed of it

I really don’t think that is the last thing we need. Plenty more things would come after that in a pecking order of things I don’t want to happen to women.

All sex should be discussed beforehand?

Goodness me

Have heard it all now. Shall make sure to schedule my sexual briefing with DH every evening we want at it - said no one ever

@Luredbyapomegranate I am not sure the article is well sourced- I've emailed my
GUM consultant and will report back. My sense is on a quick review or other data is that both men and women have higher levels of foecal incontinence when they have anal sex versus those who don't... I need to spend some time looking at the research and taking into account all the data- it feels intuitively like there is some data being Mis-represented to scare monger, but I can't be sure yet until I research more thoroughly. As I work in the field I luckily have some experts I can ask directly.

What is absolutely accurate though, is the fact that porn leads to unrealistic expectations and unsafe practices, particularly around anal. This to me is the issue and all this chat around anal lovers and anal haters actually detracts from the issue- which really is around porn-influenced sexual practices that aren't safe or truly consensual in reality.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I do hope your body can recover.

Hence why people need to be educated

Not shamed

@threetimesacharm - I’m so sorry. That is an awful experience.

I think emphasis on ongoing enthusiastic consent would be positive:

All sex should be discussed beforehand - surprise penetration is rape or sexual assault. Protection should be used to prevent pregnancy and STIs - until you settle on a stable monogamous partner this usually means condoms (though women may want to take additional birth control). It is also common to both have STI tests before deciding to stop condoms (to prevent transmission). All penetration can be painful - so use lubrication if needed and start slow. Keep checking if your partner is enjoying it - if there is no reply or they seem unsure or unhappy - stop immediately. Carrying on is rape or sexual assault. Sex has to be enjoyable for both people. It is fine to dislike certain things - no one should be pressured into doing something they don’t like.

greater care should be taken if engaging in anal sex because there is a higher risk of pain, infection and incontinence. Girls are more at risk because the urethra is closer to the anus and the pelvic floor is weaker.

@Miffee

No actual answers so decide to flounce

Pretty transparent

Still waiting for you to tell me the name of the very successful campaign to stop a sexual practice based on fear btw.

@excitingusername if you read any of my posts you would have seen that the hill I am dying on, so to speak, is accepting that some people do enjoy anal but that regardless, we need to ensure both you f women and young men are educated about risks, safety, communication, consent, and that we also need to use education and open discussions to counteract the damage caused by porn.

In a way it doesn't matter if I do or don't enjoy it, as that has become rather a red herring. I am comfortable in my own sexuality and am only concerned that the people saying it's disgusting, etc, shut down the opportunity for communication, which means that young people turn to porn... and the cycle continues.

Porn isn't going anywhere sadly so we need to do what we can to manage the damage caused, and the only way to do that is through education.

I think you're disgusting and I have no interest in anything you have to say on this or any other subject.

I doubt those on your side of the debate are pleased with your input so I will do them a favour and stop engaging with you.

I’m well aware that people have had anal sex for as long as they have had sex

but anal sex is a sex act it’s not straightforward sex between a man and a woman and many women will not feel comfortable with it as it can be painful (regardless of lube)

it shouldn’t be considered as sex it’s a sex act that can be very painful and can be dangerous

as many sex acts which young women are often being coerced into going along with because to be vanilla is boring they are told they are not wild or adventurous enough and when we are young we are impressionable and easily manipulated

@Miffee

You think watching a show rated 15 with children old enough is an issue?

Considering you're someone who advocates for women being shamed by their sexual preferences and that you think scaring children is how to get them not to do something I'm glad views such as yours are dying out.

Thankfully children these days get the education your poor classmates didn't receive

Ok groomer.

My friend was told by her religious mother 25 years ago that to stay a virgin until marriage but anal sex was something to put up with to stay pure until marriage. I’m sure she never watched porn. Women I’ve worked with in America summer camps has been told the same thing.
It not just porn, anal has been around as long as humans have. Education is what’s needed to support girls making personal choices and feeling safe to say no.

@excitingusername

Hardly

The show was rated 15

So perfectly fine for my eldest 2 children

There’s a lot of rules in clubs and women are way more respected in there than normal clubs.

no It’s not about finding better porn it’s about violent and degrading porn becoming mainstream and influencing what is deemed acceptable sex that’s they issue

you need to find better porn…

Actually not harassed at all. I believe clubs took a zero tolerance policy.

Yes, sorry, I haven't read it. But it was hyped and very popular, leading, I think, to a lot of inexperienced people experimenting. I respect the BDSM community for their generally responsible attitude. Had a friend who DJd for clubs in London and was always struck that a lone woman was safer and less harassed in a fetish club than in a straight, mainstream club.

Mate, anyone who's into reading wouldn't agree with anything in that book!

50 shades is not any part of the BDSM world, it’s rape. Those of us who enjoy bdsm and sub/dom wouldn’t agree with anything in that book.