Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

Shrug - maybe she isn't as enthusiastic as you for sure but she certainly overrode her child's obvious distress and discomfort which is what boundary erasing is.

Yeah, vegans are OK. They don't hurt anyone even if you find them irritating!

Bum Sex Brigade are like vegans 😄

Honest to god is it possible to even discuss stuff on here.

And I think the 'ball against neighbours wall' threads get heated.

Oh my bad. Another poster mentioned it upthread and I thought it was such an odd view I just assumed it was you. Seems there are two of you who think tears through childbirth are equivalent to tears through anal

People who say it's mainstream mean a lot of men want to do it. People who say it's niche mean a lot of women don't want to do it. Whose wants are more important? Campaigning for women's rights to bodily boundaries are more important to me and many others than campaigning for men's rights to have that they want. Female fans of anal can create their own groups, organise their own education.

These bumsex lovers should form a group, so they can discuss how great it is, and how boring people who don't do it are, and how they're 'missing out.' 🙄

Is this what you call other women? Nice. Posters here have been honest and respectful, articulating their points even if you disagree.

...

Like a number of other posters here, I have hardly ever known anybody in real life who has anal sex.

You go around asking? That's not socially acceptable.

...

What amazes me and amuses me at the same time, is how they just HAVE to talk about it

People DONT talk about it, hence why you don't know anyone who does it!

*They're almost like vegans (some vegans) It's like they absolutely have to tell everybody that they do it - like we give a damn, and they also act like we should be doing it. (And if we don't, we're boring, and 'vanilla.') As a pps said further back, saying 'vanilla sex' is like saying 'frigid.' It's a nasty misogynistic insult, used to try and put women in their place, and make them feel shitty. As this thread illustrates though, it rarely works, as many women don't give a fuck what the bum sex brigade think.

Methinks they protest too much, and as a few people have said (and like I said earlier) I think they've been brainwashed into thinking they enjoy anal sex... I really don't see how anybody can tbh. It's pretty foul, if you really think about it.*

OFFS the abusing starts

I stopped at " they're Like vegans" because it made me laugh so much.

Go off and start another thread
"for or against up the bum"

Dear god you are so missing the point. You really don't give a shit about anybody else do you. All about you. Is this concern for younger women just a pretend point then?

I think the fact you don't speak to anyone about your sex life answers your point around not knowing anyone who likes anal

Birds of a feather flock together. Plus age plays a factor

25% of women engage in anal sex

And that's the ones who admit it. Unfortunately you and others on this thread have perpetuated a shamefulness around getting sexual gratification this way thus the true number is likely higher.

@Mooshamoo · Yesterday 23:33

Did anyone else enjoy anal? I thought it felt great, didn't feel any pain.

@excitingusername · Yesterday 23:35

Dude why don't you make your way through the threads of people defending and shrieking about their pleasure in shoving things up there and how they want to advocate it (and do) to their children. You're among friends.

I agree with this post from 'excitingusername.' These bumsex lovers should form a group, so they can discuss how great it is, and how boring people who don't do it are, and how they're 'missing out.' 🙄

Like a number of other posters here, I have hardly ever known anybody in real life who has anal sex. I used to know a woman some 10 or 15 years ago at work - and my husband used to know a woman at his work probably around the same time, who claimed they had anal sex all the time. But apart from that, I can't recall anyone I have ever known who says they do it.

The woman at my husband's work would come to work and say 'oooh I can hardly sit down as my arse aches from all the anal sex over the weekend.' The woman I worked with called me and a couple of the other women at work, 'really fucking boring' because we didn't want a cock shoved up our arse.

What amazes me and amuses me at the same time, is how they just HAVE to talk about it, and tell everyone they do it. I have never spoken to a SOUL in real life about mine and DH's sex life. Yet some people just NEED to discuss theirs, and they especially love to tell you how great it is. And the anal sex brigade, seem to really bang on about it, like they're soooooooo random and original and amazingly edgy for doing it. Just bore off already.

They're almost like vegans (some vegans) It's like they absolutely have to tell everybody that they do it - like we give a damn, and they also act like we should be doing it. (And if we don't, we're boring, and 'vanilla.') As a pps said further back, saying 'vanilla sex' is like saying 'frigid.' It's a nasty misogynistic insult, used to try and put women in their place, and make them feel shitty. As this thread illustrates though, it rarely works, as many women don't give a fuck what the bum sex brigade think.

Methinks they protest too much, and as a few people have said (and like I said earlier) I think they've been brainwashed into thinking they enjoy anal sex... I really don't see how anybody can tbh. It's pretty foul, if you really think about it.

the mutually enjoyable element of your post os the crux of this

You've seen yourself many men find enjoyment from non vanilla sexual practices

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them.

The same applies with sexes reversed, I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside of the 'vanilla' sphere

Men are by far the ones who drive more enjoyment from the less vanilla sex acts, so that's where the disconnect comes in.

@HRTQueen

So the only sexual practices that are ok in your eyes are those that continue the human race

Ok, odd, but ok

As many pp’s have said, it’s the “normalisation” of it that’s the issue.

I’ve never liked giving blow jobs, it makes me feel sick. But when I was young (I’m in my 50’s now) I gave blow jobs in relationships because I felt I couldn’t say no to something so “normal”. Who would want to be with me if I wouldn’t even do that? That’s how I thought back then. I always consented. Not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to.

So it’s not a leap to think that young women now may well “consent” to anal for the same reasons. We’re not all strong enough to say no to something we don’t want to do, for a myriad of reasons. So the more things are normalised the more things young women feel pressured into.

I actually really enjoy sex, but “vanilla” sex. But people are made to feel ashamed for liking that! Oh we can’t “kink shame” anyone but it’s fine to shame people who don’t have any kinks and label them “boring”.

I’ve given up on ever finding another relationship precisely because of sex. I did OLD for a while and the men in my age group would all be complaining that sex with their ex wives was boring and they wanted to do all the things they’d seen in porn. They may not have phrased it quite so bluntly, but that’s what they were saying. I’m not here to fulfil some man’s fantasies. I want loving, mutually enjoyable sex, I’ve given up trying to find it.

@FreudayNight but your option B isn't factual

It's not educational to lie to children to say it's niche

Yes it can hurt, yes it can cause damage, if you want to do it here is how you can mitigate some of the risks

What's so bad about that?

I think there are different ideas about the messaging of “Education” :is it.
(a) Anal is “regularly enjoyed” by some couples and here ladies are some ideas about how you can provide pleasure to your man. or
(b) Anal is a niche practice which those who profit from exploitation would like you think is normal, and that “everyone else is doing it” so that you can coerce/be coerced into commoditizing your own sexuality, to have it sold back to you. By the way, children your age, have been left with life changing disabilities. And it’s nothing special anyway, and who want a poo-hat in their penis.

Totally

This has been a fascinating read from both sides.

I think the amount of planning, preparing and practice for anal to be "safe", plus the potential long term damage it can do to a woman's health would make it not worth those couple of minutes of gratification worth it for me.

Young people should absolutely be educated about the risks and not just how to prepare for it if they decide try it. That's not scare mongering, that's arming them with information so that they can make a decision knowing the consequences.

I think there are different ideas about the messaging of “Education” :is it.
(a) Anal is “regularly enjoyed” by some couples and here ladies are some ideas about how you can provide pleasure to your man. or
(b) Anal is a niche practice which those who profit from exploitation would like you think is normal, and that “everyone else is doing it” so that you can coerce/be coerced into commoditizing your own sexuality, to have it sold back to you. By the way, children your age, have been left with life changing disabilities. And it’s nothing special anyway, and who want a poo-hat in their penis.

After reading this thread I can relate to your daughter 😭

On a serious note though. This thread started about young women getting injured and traumatised during sex and there have been some horrific accounts here.

Forwarded is forearmed and teaching girls and boys about consent, boundaries and sexual health must surely be the way the way to go

They need to know that porn is not real and that in heterosexual relationships both partner's needs and desires matter.

People can say that's BS but you only have to spend 5 minutes on the relationships board to see how uncommon that is.

I am seriously fed up with the concept that it is OK for porn to dictate how people should be having sex and that we should just accept whatever they show as desirable and mainstream behaviour...

And how do you counter act that tsunami of porn?

Getting back to the OP- the big issue isnt whether some women on here like it up the arse and do/don't know the appropriate risks- it's that porn culture is leading young men to think it's no big deal, requires no extra care and that all women should be up for it and if you aren't- well you are a bit of a bore stopping them getting their jollies anyway they choose.

exactly

@RufustheFloralmissingreindeer 'Porn makes things mainstream and then if its mainstream we should be educated on it''

No.

Porn routinely shows rough sex and women being used as passive objects. It shows acts like choking and various kinks (which some people will enjoy but is unlikely to be a mainstream pastime...)

These does not mean that these acts should become ''mainstream'' and that we should just blindly accept them as the norm.

Education is needed to remind people that porn is not real life, to help young people build a healthy sense of self and of their body and to understand that consent is everything and that you should never do something just to please someone else or to conform to the ''standards'' set by porn. The education should also be blunt enough to explain the physical risks of certain sex acts and how to minimise that it is possible and if you decide to do them.

Porn is not here to educate you and your kids or to give you a healthy attitude to sex. It is a product and its main purpose is to make money and keep people hooked on it. Porn producers will continue to show more and more extreme acts to keep people watching and that can desensitise and lead to really unhealthy attitudes to relationships.

Anal sex is not a mainstream practice. Nor is BDSM. Nothing wrong if that is your thing and you have a partner who is into it too but let's stop pretending that they are.

I am seriously fed up with the concept that it is OK for porn to dictate how people should be having sex and that we should just accept whatever they show as desirable and mainstream behaviour...

And more stupid posts

yes I know and again anal sex isn’t necessary for the human race to continue

What I don't understand is that whilst most on here are prepared to accept there's an avalanche of wrongly depicted anal sex via porn.

And the fear is that young girls are made to feel that it's 'ordinary' practice and therefore don't understand thats it's actually risky and actually a niche practice.

No one has come up with a way of communicating that, given this situation already exists other than those saying 'education'

'Education' has been sneered and abused and derided. In the same way the right in the US don't want eduction about homosexuality saying that it promotes or encourages.

Exactly what do people want to do about this?

The whole 'I like it' and 'I don't like it' is a total red herring. And this is the most abusive thread I've ever been on. But I think Piers Morgan or whoever it was has left the building.

Who cares if you like it or not if your concern is about other young women it's irrelevant.

And the cosmopolitan article saying bleeding is ok is exactly why better information than that is needed and we do have to have these horrible and awkward conversations with our kids - you'd have hoped cosmopolitan included advice on talking to an adult you trust about any concerns given the age of their readership.

I beg your pardon

I've not said anything about things being 'obscure'

Watch out @excitingusername will be here soon to accuse you of sexually grooming your children