Nursery sick of my child

You need to find different childcare for her. Crying all day is not fair on your dd, the other children or the staff.

100% this

Sounds like your dd is disrupting the whole room. And tainting the sanity of the workers. If a kid won't stop crying allll dayyyy longggg. It would be horrendous for the people working there. And all the other kids. Not to mention stressful for your own dd.

Your sister even said "I told my sister and she just said well you know what she’s like she must do their heads in"

So your dd sounds like she..well... is more than just a handful...

Get a childminders perhaps

To be honest I think this is why nursery care for under 2/3s isn't the best. It's a long day for them to be around lots of children and adults they might not always be familiar with. I think it would be unlikely for her to cry all day if you moved her to a childminder who she could form a good bond with and who has less children to deal with / can get to know her really well. Unless there's another underlying reason for it, is she the same at home?

My DS went to nursery at 9 months and he absolutely was 'demanding and spoiled' with my love and attention. He was also 'hard work'. We went to the only nursery available to us and they were amazing. They never made me feel like they didn't like having him there and would just say 'he had plenty cuddles today'. Once he was walking and talking he loved going to nursery and used to go down to the baby room every day to say goodbye to his favourite key worker who I'm sure he was a horror to in the early days.

He then went to school nursery and it was the best in the area but I hated him there. Every single day I would pick him up and the key worker would roll her eyes at him and say that he wouldn't stop talking to her and doesn't listen. I then discovered that he was the only verbal child in his group who spoke English so he was speaking to her to make conversation.

When we moved house he started at his last school nursery and the key worker was super enthusiastic. There was free flow to the garden except at lunchtime and plenty of kids to play with and he thrived.

Unless she's particularly verbal at 22 months she's expressing herself by crying, she's not spoiled or needs her behaviour managed. It does sound like she needs a change of childcare setting though, perhaps that environment isn't for her. My friends child is very introverted and HATED every second of nursery but was a dream at home, she loved just pottering about doing her own thing and had a few close friends, the constant social interaction was too much for her.

Why don’t you just move her to an completely outside nursery?

Considering your sisters response, it's a safe bet this is a common behaviour for your child at home. You need to stop that. Make her understand she can't just cry and tantrum to get what she wants. I'm not surprised the nursery are tired of dealing with her tbh. I'd move her to a childminder and see if she gets on differently.

Exactly! Yet these very people wouldn't be able to cope being in a teacher role. Easy to make demands when you have one or 2 children, but I'd like to see the attitude when managing a whole class of children.

You mentioned you expect them to be able to cope with a crying child. If they're not able to do what you think is right by your DD, then definitely look at other childcare options.

The staff are obviously reluctant to just leave her to it, but they do have other children to care for, change, feed and play with, so there's only so much time for other children.

You made the comment about your sister. Do you think she's more demanding than other children, even with you? If the honest answer is yes, then might be worth talking to a health care professional for assessment.

Professionals can cope to a degree but just because they can’t doesn’t mean they’re not excellent at their job it just means there’s something amiss that they can’t find. If she is honestly fine a lot of the time and something medical has been ruled out (teeth and ears as someone above says), maybe you just do have to go looking for a new place. I think I’d have different advice if she were older but she’s so young! It’s difficult for all of you, Id say it’s tough for them to have to admit nothing is working for them

I'd try a childminder instead.

A screaming/crying child is going to upset the other kids and frustrate the staff.
She obviously hasn’t t settled so You should be trying something else.

Sorry if this has been said already but as a childminder, if I have a child who is screaming all day every day more than 3 weeks after they start with me, despite trying everything to help them, then my policy is to tell the parents that it’s not working out, child is obviously unhappy and maybe a different setting would work better. Now in 22 years of childminding, I’ve only came close to this once and that was a child that cried non stop for 3 weeks but the parents begged me to try for one more week so I did & she just suddenly settled but I wouldn’t keep a child who was so clearly unhappy. It’s not fair on the child or the other children in my care.

It’s not their job to put up with crying children. No child should be crying that much - it suggests that something is wrong. You seem more annoyed that they won’t put up with crying than concerned that your daughter is extremely unhappy at nursery. I couldn’t bear the thought of my daughter crying all day at nursery. You need to find alternative childcare.

"They're paid to put up with it" is a poor attitude and doesnt tale into account that they are real people who are finding it really hard to manage a child that cries all day. I'm not paid to love my child but fuck me there are days I've practically thrown her at her dad before going out for a walk. If she was screaming at me all day, being paid minimum wage wouldn't be much consolation. Have a bit of empathy for the people you expect to have empathy for your child.

The nursery isn't right for you r child. They trying to tell you that. She needs another setting, a childminder maybe. I'd be very upset knowing my child cried all day and agree with the nursery and move her. Your sister seems to be saying the crying happen s at home too

Agree with the pps who say it’s totally appropriate for a child this age to want attention. A child under 2 is not “spoilt”.

But why is she crying so much? Could it be the nursery setting is wrong for her or does she have a health or developmental need which is not being met?

If your dd is also like this at home I would start with a visit to the gp.

Every bit of this. Please find an outdoor focused childminder. We have one who it wonderful, they spend the majority of the time outdoors, in local woodlands and the beach and green spaces. My eldest struggles massively indoors, which is a big reason why we chose our minder, but also she's just amazing generally, Great ethos, loves kids and they love her which is the most important thing.

You’ve said she likes attention, it seems like your first solution was to ask nursery to let her play outside more as this is what she likes, and your sister has indicated she’s hard work.

Be honest, OP, do you give in to her behaviour at home? The nursery have to care for all the children. Agree with PP, a childminder might provide a better dynamic.

Also, poor child must be unhappy if she’s screaming all day. Not sure nursery putting up with it is helping anyone here.

As a nursery practitioner of under 2s I can say there are some children who just don't suit nursery.

Despite staff encouraging them to come and play, singing, taking them around the room to show them things, getting out their favourite toys some children just cry and or want to be cuddled for the whole 10 hour session.

Whilst it is normal at the beginning I've seen children months on who just cry. Their key person gets them on the garden, reads, cuddles and plays but it's hard work, we share the care but as you can imagine alongside this other children are upset, tired, settling, needing attention, the daytime Routines and also as key people and as caring childcare professionals we do also want to spend time with all of our key children rather than just sat trapped under a crying 22 month old who refuses to want to do anything but sit on the carers lap in the book corner.

With 1 I'm thinking of we tried everything and he was with us 9 months before moving to the toddler room. He cried everyday. We dealt with it ; tried so many things but it is very hard when you have also got other children and it's hot.

What did your sister mean by her comment is your daughter also very emotional at home?

I genuinely wonder how people like you get on in life.

I am going to take a punt - you enjoy your own company because you don’t have any other choice

ga you ever heard of spelling and punctuation?

OP, child care workers are people, not wizards. Yes a screaming child all day is hard. When nothing you do helps. And yes children can and do try to manipulate the situation. If I walk around with my lip hanging out and start grizzling maybe I’ll get all the attention.

Do you get chilly up there on the moral high ground?

Maybe spell check your posts before you criticise grammar.

OP, how stressful for you and your DD. The nursery don't sound like they are being very constructive. You child is very young. She is crying to communicate and needs empathy. If you want her to stay at the nursery I would ask for a meeting to discuss a strategy going forward to manage things. However, if you don't think the nursery is providing a nurturing and caring environment you might want to look for another nursery or childminder. Obviosuly you don't want to needlessly disrupt her by moving her, but your description of the nursery does worry me a bit (although I am also mindful that today must have been a very stressful day for nurseries trying to keep the children cool and probably not being able to go outside). I would trust your gut instinct about whether you are comfortable leaving your toddler at that nursery.

Regardless you may also want talk to your health visitors to see if they have any advice about managing her behaviour gently or they think she may need some other input.

Big hugs. My toddler can also cry a lot xx

Depending on what the OP is writing her posts on she may not have realised until it was posted she has no paragraphs.

And MN doesn't have an edit function.