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AIBU?

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Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 18:41

Had they altered it at all?

Arnaquer · 08/07/2022 18:39

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry. You shouldn't have allowed her to rush you and made sure to try it on properly.
Not sure what could have been done if it was too big, but the dressmaker could have advised you.
Sounds like they over stretched themselves with orders.

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 18:34

balalake · 08/07/2022 17:50

@dianthus101 single or low use clothing a contributor towards climate change, expense many cannot easily afford, a heteronormative event in most cases.

Why have you directed that comment at me? Where have I suggested people buy “single or low use clothing”?

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 18:34

@BathshebaKnickerStickers
The corset was supposed to have a 3-4" gap between the sides but it actually touched when pulled with space to spare. The idea of the corset was in case DD put on more weight (she didn't) and also to 'pull her in'. Corsets are supposed to be tight and this was baggy. I was still pulling in the corset after the prom lady left and if she had arrived earlier she would have seen it all pulled in. The other mum also had a go with the corset and tried to pin it but the dress was clearly too big and not altered to agreed size.

OP posts:
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 08/07/2022 18:27

Could you have laced the corset up properly and tightly enough if it had been delivered half an hour earlier or if people hadn’t started arriving for the pre-event..?

if your daughter has put on so much weight recently it’s pretty unlikely even in the most beautiful fitted dress that she would ever have felt comfortable - speaking as n overweight person I would never ever feel comfortable

balalake · 08/07/2022 17:50

@dianthus101 single or low use clothing a contributor towards climate change, expense many cannot easily afford, a heteronormative event in most cases.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 17:23

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

Excellent.

Full of heart for OP's daughter though ...

Think there are lots of give aways in the sorry tale as to why I suspect the "seamstress collapsed" story.

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:40

Right, I have emailed the prom shop using the email suggestions posted earlier. Will update when I get a reply.

OP posts:
Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:37

@Meraas
They ask for the school, so they know exactly when each school's prom is.

OP posts:
LIZS · 08/07/2022 16:36

Meraas · 08/07/2022 16:14

Thank God you haven’t paid the balance!

I would take pics/video of dd in dress showing how big it is. Hopefully you won’t need them and the email will suffice.

I think you should also have said you needed the dress a few days before you actually did.

Agree, sending a pic showing just how big it was across the back after alleged alterations would be useful. Was the one which arrived even the correct size if there was so much to take in? Presumably she had tried on something similar originally before ordering in chosen size/colour.

Lifeisforlovingandliving · 08/07/2022 16:28

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:51

am sure your daughter will survive…. I hope the seamstress who ended up on hospital is ok

if you believe that story.

Of course OP's DD will survive. But that is hardly the point.

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

RedHelenB · 08/07/2022 16:24

toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 09:37

Problem is you accepted it and said it was fine

This. So I think yabu.

Meraas · 08/07/2022 16:14

Thank God you haven’t paid the balance!

I would take pics/video of dd in dress showing how big it is. Hopefully you won’t need them and the email will suffice.

I think you should also have said you needed the dress a few days before you actually did.

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 16:10

balalake · 08/07/2022 15:45

Whilst acknowledging that this is poor service, and that one outcome would be for the dress to be taken back and some partial refund, this whole thread re-affirms my view that school proms should not happen.

What do you mean when you say they should not happen? In many schools the students organise their own. Not everyone gets expensive fitted dresses either.

balalake · 08/07/2022 15:45

Whilst acknowledging that this is poor service, and that one outcome would be for the dress to be taken back and some partial refund, this whole thread re-affirms my view that school proms should not happen.

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 15:35

@LookItsMeAgain @toomuchlaundry
I was on the phone to my friend who has a DD a year older who had prom last year, who was suggesting friends of her DD who might have a dress in a similar size to my DD. That was the route we were going down when I saw the prom lady pulling up outside.

OP posts:
Rickrollme · 08/07/2022 15:30

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

Never been a teenage girl then, have you?

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 15:30

@AnnesBrokenSlate
I did notice it was big, I just thought it needed pulling in tighter. I literally had 5 mins with her before she had to leave. I thought her friends/other mum would help her with her dress as I didn't get the time to do it since the prom lady showed up at 5pm instead of before 4pm.

The dress was supposed to have a gap at the back of 3-4" where the corset was, instead there was no gap at all and the dress was still baggy. They obviously hadn't altered it correctly.

OP posts:
Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 15:25

@Mamapep
I already said, there are no local clothes shops selling anything suitable to wear to a prom.

The text on Monday lunchtime made it sound as if it was being delivered that afternoon/evening. They repeatedly said not to worry, that we would get the dress in time 😒

OP posts:
Mamapep · 08/07/2022 15:21

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 13:41

Yes, but the shops would have been open the day before so there would have been an opportunity to buy a dress off the peg.

i mean… she could have done that anyway, as a back up, returned it if it wasn’t needed..

willstarttomorrow · 08/07/2022 14:51

I think my issue is a business offering prom dresses (usually at huge costs) not completing alterations until such a late stage. Most reputable ones would not be delivering on the day and would have the altered product to the customer at the very least a week before to avoid these issues. You were put in a very difficult situation- even getting it to you the day before, let alone earlier in the day, is very poor customer service. I would complain and also leave an honest review. The fitting, alterations etc are all built into the cost-effective otherwise why not get one from the high street?

TheNoodlesIncident · 08/07/2022 14:49

I would definitely advise that I (as OP) had thought that the corset part could be winched in sufficiently to close any gaps but was unable to check that first because the seamstress did not leave me enough time to be sure of the fit before she left. It seems reasonable to suppose that a dress with a corset fitting at the back will, if correctly sized in the first place, allow that adjustment to be made.

Since it did not and the dress gaped unbecomingly and caused OP's DD distress, I would not be clearing the balance of the invoice. All the excuses they give are irrelevant, they were tasked with making a dress fit a particular person and they failed spectacularly and caused a great deal of stress to their customers. If they were overwhelmed with volume of work they should have contracted some out in order to fulfil their obligations. You don't get to just say "Tough shit, we supplied you with a dress, now pay up!"

We may feel sympathy for the dress shop for the difficulties they encountered, but that's not the fault of their customer. They had options open to them, even say advising OP that they felt that they couldn't complete the job in time and to find another dress while there was still time. Not ideal, but better than leaving OP and her poor DD in the lurch.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 14:46

It's a bit odd that OP didn't notice it didn't fit but the other mum did.

What in all the keffuffle and then straight out there the door with the other mum, who was there waiting?

The other mum spent longer with DD at the pre prom party.

Ticksallboxes · 08/07/2022 14:44

Unfortunately it's a difficult situation as your daughter tried on the dress and you then accepted it.

However, you could politely argue that you obviously had no alternative and your daughter was literally about to leave for the prom.

As long as you are extremely polite about not paying the balance, and include phots which show your DD next to better fitting dresses, I think they will accept.

If you're rude and blunt though they'll instantly get on the defensive, particularly as it sounds like a staff member is seriously unwell (if they're being truthful).

LIZS · 08/07/2022 14:43

If it was that hasty the dd may well not have got ready until at other girl's house, taking her outfit, makeup etc with her to put on there.