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AIBU?

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Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
Tomitma111 · 09/07/2022 19:51

Jeez, you are asking people if you should LIE, you disgust me

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:47

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 19:09

"like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!" -

Totally this. Totally.

@woolwinder that may be so but that ship has sailed now. You can’t just tell a teenage girl not to worry about her dress as proms are a bought in American culture. What do you expect her to say when all her friends are getting dressed up??

NCTDN · 09/07/2022 19:44

Oops! Pressed the wrong thing!!
Your poor daughter. Proms are a huge thing now and they deserve to feel special.

NCTDN · 09/07/2022 19:43

You

Staffy1 · 09/07/2022 19:27

This is the problem with prom and wedding dresses only being ready at the last possible moment. Why do they do that, it doesn’t give anyone an option to reject it and get something else if it’s not right.
I think you will have a problem not paying for it though as you accepted it and its been worn.

BellePeppa · 09/07/2022 19:12

You said it was fine because you were under pressure. She arrived late and then told you she had somewhere else she had to be, so hardly conducive for you to make a well thought out decision. Hopefully you can both come to an agreeable outcome but the dressmaker should realise that goodwill is very important for her business.

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 19:09

"like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!" -

Totally this. Totally.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 09/07/2022 19:04

YANBU. We had similar issues with DD's prom dress, thought the dress was not going to arrive, as medical issues (Hmmapparently) made it late.

FWIW I have been pressured to sign for large flat pack stuff still in packaging as being ' arrived in excellent condition' or similar, without the courier wanting to wait, while I actually was able to undo packaging to check. No way! What I actually signed for was with a proviso of "Looks ok, but still in packaging, wasn't allowed opportunity to check properly" or similar. I suspect that men aren't always pressured in the same way.Hmm

Hope you get a reasonable outcome.

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:03

The moral of this story is to say the event is at least a week before it actually is to allow for any mishaps. My mum did this when my wedding dress was being made. Who wants to have that last minute stress?

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:01

Your poor dd! You are NBU at all. They let you down and as they delivered the dress so late you probably convinced yourself it was ok. Prom dresses aren’t cheap, it should have fitted perfectly.

Don’t pay the balance, they have not fulfilled the contract.

scubad · 09/07/2022 19:01

Deposit, fitting, alterations...jesus Christ! Sounds like a bride and a wedding dress.

My prom dress was £80 from a department store. Surely not all proms are like this now? God help us all.

How much you should complain is dependent on how expensive this was in my opinion. I'm getting the impression it was somehow super expensive though and if that's the case then you should complain.

Itislate · 09/07/2022 19:01

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

The dress is not right so give it back to the shop and tell them your not paying as you have returned the dress.

Blackberrybunnet · 09/07/2022 18:55

You said it was fine. You therefore accepted it as it was.

Itislate · 09/07/2022 18:53

Do you know absolutely nothing about teenagers?

Blueink · 09/07/2022 18:40

If it’s the alterations you are refusing to pay for, I agree, as it wasn’t altered to fit her and they also arrived 1 hour past the latest deadline, not allowing enough time for the dress to be done up fully to check the fit. In this situation they should alter the dress again to fit her. I’m sorry it affected her Prom and of course she may not want to wear the dress again, but do think you should pay an outstanding balance on the dress itself.

Pbbananabagel · 09/07/2022 18:39

Tbh it sounds like it hasn’t been altered at all and they were winging it.

Insanelysilver · 09/07/2022 18:20

The prom lady should have ensured the corset was fully done up. That is the only way to tell if it fitted properly.
i appreciate the dress maker fell ill but I certainly think a big discount is in order given they left it until the afternoon of the prom to deliver. Even if you’d realised the dress didn’t fit they hadn’t left themselves any time to sort it out.

Jo586 · 09/07/2022 18:05

The whole concept of proms makes my toes curl, having said that, nothing to lose by taking some photos and saying despite their efforts the dress wasn't suitable,

Mfsf · 09/07/2022 17:54

Tell them you will return it as it was not fir and nit what was promised . Do not tell them she used it . Return it and if they refuse so a change back .

Arnaquer · 09/07/2022 10:28

Rosehugger · 08/07/2022 18:44

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry

No it wouldn't.RTFT.

I have RTFT and am offering my opinion. That's what Mumsnet is about 🙄

bcc89 · 08/07/2022 20:02

I feel like unfortunately you have to pay them. You accepted the dress and the dress has now also been worn out.

I completely understand why you're unhappy though and I know you had limited time.

I would make sure to leave an honest review of the service so it doesn't happen to someone else.

frozenblueberry · 08/07/2022 18:58

If it was still that big once they delivered it are you sure they even altered it at all? Have you actually checked the dress maybe they were snowed under and left her dress till last and ran out of time!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 18:56

In your opinion, happy with my concerns about someone who has been hospitalised, I will leave you to your outlook that everyone is a liar!

hmmm, 🤷‍♀️

Lifeisforlovingandliving · 08/07/2022 18:48

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 17:23

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

Excellent.

Full of heart for OP's daughter though ...

Think there are lots of give aways in the sorry tale as to why I suspect the "seamstress collapsed" story.

In your opinion, happy with my concerns about someone who has been hospitalised, I will leave you to your outlook that everyone is a liar!

Rosehugger · 08/07/2022 18:44

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry

No it wouldn't.RTFT.