Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 13/07/2022 11:59

I was glad they had a normal prom this year. They have had a rubbish 2 years and their exams were drawn out and extra stressful due to advance notice Issues.
No one has to spend a lot. DD’s friends had mix of prom shop bought, high street, online and one sewed her own. A charity shop locally offers girls dresses for free.
Some had makeup/tan/hair/nails some did own. Some girls wore suits.
No limos or fancy cars.
Cost £25 for sit down meal and disco at a local hotel and she went to a house party after.
In my day we had a church service and that was it. Was rubbish.
She’s got some lovely photos and memories with her friends.
Hope the shop respond but suspect they may not and may just not chase you got payment.

Suburbitonian · 12/07/2022 15:04

WimbyAce · 08/07/2022 09:54

Nothing useful to say just dreading all this prom stuff when my kids are older. When did it become a thing?

@WimbyAce another thing imported from USA. Luckily Halloween isn't sticking as much as retailers might like.

In my day 👴! (2005) I bought a dinner suit from eBay for £30. It paid for itself several times over as I didn't need to spend on suit hire for 6th form leavers ball and on many similar university functions. Freshers ball, sports club dinner, Christmas ball, summer ball... etc.

Blokes have it easy, yes. That said, I worry too much is promised or implied. Hiring a limo, suit, dress, !preprom party!😕😟, inviting your date, who to invite.

I will be suggesting to my girls to not take it too seriously. I'm sure they will have a nice dress and have a great time bidding farewell to their schoolfriends before they disperse to universities across the country.

Zonder · 12/07/2022 07:01

Do they use social medi? I would consider posting something on there to say you're waiting for a reply.

JaffaCake70 · 11/07/2022 18:49

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

It was gaping around her chest area, not just slightly too big. I'm 51 yrs old and if something was gaping around my chest area I too would feel self conscious.

Original poster
Promdisaster · 11/07/2022 15:56

I emailed the prom shop as per pp suggestion on Friday afternoon and have not heard back from them yet 😒. I'll update when I get a reply.

OP posts:
Forestgate · 11/07/2022 15:04

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:40

Right, I have emailed the prom shop using the email suggestions posted earlier. Will update when I get a reply.

@Promdisaster any updates?

LookItsMeAgain · 11/07/2022 14:56

Just wondering if you've heard back from the shop @Promdisaster ?

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/07/2022 09:58

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 10:44

@StoppinBy
It wasn't the seamstress that delivered but the prom shop owner or assistant. My point is that I didn't have time to do up the corset properly in front of her as there were people turning up at the door and she was saying how late she was with delivering another dress. If she had arrived earlier as asked and promised there would have been time for my DD to try her dress on properly.

My reply would have been , you will have to be late for next customer as an hour late for me

and for her to come in and fitted the dress to your daughter

tbh leaving it to the day before was cutting it fine

you should have contacted them a good week before the prom to enquire /Insist dress was done

how much did you pay for the dress @Promdisaster

corset style dresses are usually good as can pull and tighten tho they are hard to do up correctly

and again person dropping off the dress should have made sure it fitted

very convienant the dress maker was suddenly ill

Rosehugger · 10/07/2022 09:51

I think you will struggle to get any money back.

They haven't paid in full for the dress. I think the seamstress will struggle to get paid for the rest. I'd happily see her in court if it came to that.

ECN73 · 10/07/2022 09:13

I think you will struggle to get any money back. It seems crazy to me to accept a dress for an important event on the hour…as soon as they said it would be on the day you should have asked for the deposit back and bought another dress elsewhere. They delivered it late, you accepted it, end of. They knew you had no choice anyway, delivering it right before her prom. They are awful and run a crap business but you let them. Expensive lesson to learn.

Johnnysgirl · 10/07/2022 09:08

I would have made her wait till the dress was tried on properly but that wouldn't have made any difference as there was no one there to alter it anyway
Well, it would have made a difference in the sense that you could have argued it's not what you ordered and claim a refund, even if you insisted that the dress be worn anyway since there was no time to source anything else within the time frame.
Op has snookered herself, not by taking the dress, but by declaring it fine.

Zonder · 10/07/2022 06:51

What a mess. I would be warning people to shop elsewhere next year.

Jo9161 · 10/07/2022 04:22

I do feel bad for you and your Daughter. The problem is you accepted it & said it fit while the seller was there.. Though under the circumstances even if it hadn't you would've felt forced to take the dress as no alternative by then to by another. Usually I wouldn't agree as I had a guy but handmade jewellery off me once he bought for wife's birthday present called in person had it weeks wore in blazing heat then opened a case to return it, so usually I would side with the maker but I agree with others she let you down purposely leaving things till last minute and I don't believe the nonsense bout the seamstress getting ill... would be better if we could see what dress looked like to see if we think your being unreasonable. But I would've kicked off with her delivering it that late tbh. You sound way more patient than me

Jo9161 · 10/07/2022 04:16

I would expect. Y dress days before not that late no chance.. The second this thing wasn't arriving days before if I had tge money I would've gone out and bought another dress that fit right

Autienotnaughtie · 10/07/2022 02:52

I'd return the dress and say it didn't fit. The seamstress system is sloppy at best. Your dd should have had a final fitting before it was delivered.

milkyaqua · 10/07/2022 02:00

hedgehoglurker · 08/07/2022 09:39

Yabu. You accepted the dress after trying it on. Your daughter then wore it all evening. Like Judge Judy would say, "you ate the steak".

Grin
expat101 · 10/07/2022 01:20

Even if the shop owner had turned up at the appointed time of 4pm, what could have happened to remedy the situation? Would you have had time to pick up the other student’s last year prom dress? Do you believe with the extra hour, there would have been time to undertake further adjustments? I suspect not.

i sympathise with you for what has happened, but you said the dress was fine and the owner left. Your daughter left your house wearing it and you thought it was fine until the other parent called…

As a household that has gone through 2 proms, we were warned by past prom dress orderers to expect a huge wait for the overseas orders to arrive, and in some cases, if at all. Some never received their orders or were too shoddy to even consider wearing, but all of us were told.

I also don’t understand why you didn’t have your friend’s daughter’s back up dress ready at your home, for “just in cases”…

put it down to a huge learning curve. Most definitely not a pleasant one.

BeatieBourke · 10/07/2022 00:47

YABU because this is MENTAL amount of cost/planning/drama for what is essentially a souped up school disco.

mathanxiety · 10/07/2022 00:31

Wrt action you should take, I would take Twillow's advice.

mathanxiety · 10/07/2022 00:29

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

Never spent a big night worrying you would have wardrobe malfunction then, @midairchallenger?

bendmeoverbackwards · 10/07/2022 00:24

Plinkton · 09/07/2022 22:12

I would have made her wait till the dress was tried on properly but that wouldn't have made any difference as there was no one there to alter it anyway

You shouldn't have said it was ok and let her go I mean who does that when a dress has been specially made to fit

If I was the mum in that situation, I would have inwardly panicked about the poor fit but admitting that to your dd would have made things worse. The OP was probably trying to wing it and hope it wasn’t too bad.

Plutoisaplanet · 09/07/2022 23:24

toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 09:37

Problem is you accepted it and said it was fine

This unfortunately

Twillow · 09/07/2022 23:15

I wonder if it was actually altered at all??
In your shoes I would write a letter referring to the Sale of Goods Act which states that the goods must be:

as described
of satisfactory quality
fit for purpose

Detail the lack of compliance with the above and the problems caused by the dress being supplied in a timescale which left for no remedial action to be taken. It does not need to be exceedingly long or detailed. I would also state that for a refund of what you have already paid you will return the dress but that you will not be paying the balance due to the above.

NCTDN · 09/07/2022 22:15

If you don't get a satisfactory reply from them, I would be using the power of social media to post photos of their badly fitting dresses. (Obviously with your daughters face cropped out).

Mrsmch123 · 09/07/2022 22:14

nope wouldn't pay. They didn't fulfil their part of the deal, the dress didn't fit🤷🏻‍♀️
I would simply email saying you understand they were busy but the dress was not fit for purpose once tried on properly. There for you would like to return it. I wouldn't mention that she wore it. Just leave that bit out the email.