WWYD - Salary or flexibility?

I totally get why you'd want to exercise your potential and take on the new role, and I also agree with a PP who said to take the new role, prove yourself and then request more flexibility thereafter. Your employer might refuse, but I think they have to consider it.

Equally, the largely stress-free environment you currently work within is a huge benefit. Workplace stress is just awful and impacts every area of your life - not just the hours you spend at work. For me, eliminating as much stress as possible is always a real benefit to any job!

I was speaking to a consultant from a well-known recruiter yesterday who said they're struggling to fill lots of roles at the moment because candidates are all saying they want to work somewhere with flexibility on hours and working from home and many employers just won't consider it. She said some employers are very 'bloody minded' and won't do anything to help themselves secure the best candidates for roles which can easily be undertaken from home and outside of normal office hours - many types of data processing, routine admin, customer service and finance/accountancy roles, as well as payroll roles could easily be adapted to flexible working.

She said it's mainly employers who made no concessions during the pandemic who are now really struggling to attract top candidates.

Also, remember this isn't forever. Plenty of time to earn more money! But the kids are only this small once.

I have recently been in a similar predicament. I have a 2 year old in private nursery, but am thinking ahead of when she starts school too. Paying for wraparound care, the extra time needed for pick up and drop off from clubs and childminders, missing most of the evening with her, the added pressure for when she is off sick.

I will be in a much stronger position financially once the free hours kick in, and then not having to pay for wraparound care when she is in school - this money adds up!

At this age, I prefer to have less stress at work and more time at home. I want the flexibility to nip out and do school pick ups or drop offs. This is why I moved roles - same salary but less stress and freedom to work my own hours. My replacement was recruited for a much higher salary which indicated that I could in theory go and earn much more - but the hours would be fixed.

Work out what you can afford with different scenarios now and in the future, and also what will make you happiest.

Does your current role have the potential to progress at all ? in the future ? When i was looking for my current job , flexibility and work life balance were more important to me than salary ( and i am the main earner in my house too) Got the job with flexi time and more holidays, not a four day week but a five day week, but allowed to work your hours up things early or start late when needed. Had a commute which did eat the little increase i got. However three years on i have progressed, salary has increased, still have my flexi time and now after covid have WFH. What is your priority ? At the time i was job hunting work life balance was my priority and the rest came after

New role or another role. Blitz for a few years and take a step back a bit later.

It sounds to me like you could probably seek out a better opportunity than the one offered - if you have previous experience at this higher level of seniority then why not look for a job that offers better money and some flexibility too?

I think you really need to consider what your priority is right now.

You will lose all child benefit and the top portion of your pay will be taxed at the higher income tax bracket, so you need to consider what the difference in your take-home pay will be. But it's potentially up to 1500 per month which is significant. The higher paying role would allow you to pay significantly more pension contribution if you wanted to avoid the higher rate taxation and loss of child benefit which would then allow you to retire earlier.

Also remember that the higher paying job doesn't have to be forever, you could literally do it for 1 or 2 years (or even less time if you didn't enjoy it).

A very difficult, but very nice, problem to have. I hope you are able to make the right decision for you and your family OP.

What kind of childcare are the DCs in? Is it preschool with limited hours or a private nursery which is open 11 hours a day? I'm finding school harder to deal with and my DC both want to do so many out of school activities now (ages 7 & 10), a lot of which start at 4.30 or 5.

In other words, I needed to be more flexible after they started school. Depends if your DH will step up?

Their response to your qu about flexibility makes me wonder if they will be a shit employer.

This tbh. Any employer not recognising the basic adjustments people need to manage a work life balance are to be avoided at all costs.

my current job is like your current one and I wouldn’t go back full time with no flexibility until my youngest is at school at the least; I’ve done full time when I just had one in nursery and I was exhausted and miserable.

What do you know about the second job and the culture of the organisation? How do their values and ethics fit with your own? Do you know how flexible they are with things like working adjusted hours so you can attend school events? What's the commute like and is there an option to WFH?

As your DH is hands on and can be flexible for DC, I'd be tempted to go for the new role, but that would depend on the answers to the above. I'm in a senior, full time role, but I can flex my hours if needed and can WFH so it's manageable. I wouldn't want to work somewhere if I had to be in the office every day and the culture was very rigid.

Their response to your qu about flexibility makes me wonder if they will be a shit employer.

If you have childcare covered then working full time sounds totally doable for you.

It’s a bit different for me as my DC have SEN but I’ve found it harder to juggle everything now they’re at school.

I work 26 hours and it’s very helpful when shit happens.

I wouldn’t take a job with no flexibility again for my sanity.

Honestly I’d go for the new role, prove yourself and after 6 months submit a flexible working request if you decide you’d rather be part time.

if you don’t like the new role you can easily step down again or move to a role at the same level at a more flexible company.

Money if you are the one with earning potential. DH can take the flexibility.

Any chance of part time in the new role or 5 in 4? Would the new role be more interesting/ a challenge?

Did you apply for a new job? If so, why?

I'd stick with the flexibility personally and extra day off if you're comfortable enough financially. Time is a precious resource, and flexibility will be valuable for when school starts. It is quite a big leap in salary though - is there a halfway house between the two somehow?

I took flex, DW took big job.