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Original poster

In thinking that Red Dwarf is still creasingly funny?

214 replies

Needhelp101 · 02/07/2022 09:22

For some reason, I started re-watching Red Dwarf last night (it's available on Now). It's still SO funny.

There was a scene between Lister and Rimmer in 'Marooned' as they were discussing losing their virginity which honestly approaches comic genius. Every time I thought the punchline was there, another one followed.

For context, Lister had said he lost his virginity 'in the ninth hole of the Bootle municipal golf course'

Lister (wistfully): She just took all her clothes off and stood in front of me, completely naked. I was so excited, I almost dropped me skateboard.
Rimmer: SKATEBOARD? How old were you?
Lister: Twelve
Rimmer: TWELVE? You lost your virginity when you were twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Rimmer: Twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Rimmer (aghast): Twelve? You were twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Silence...
Rimmer: You can't have been a full member of the golf course then.

And later
Lister: Are you saying I've got a big bum?
Rimmer: Big? It's like two badly parked Volkswagons 😁

Anyone else a fan?

OP posts:
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Reallyreallyborednow · 02/07/2022 11:10

It was comedian Tony Hawks who also did the voice of the Talkie Toaster...

wasn’t he Caligula as well?

”this is mine, this is mine, this is mine”. Often said when a teenager is spraying impulse on everything :)

Original poster
Needhelp101 · 02/07/2022 11:05

Oh God and I forgot this classic

Kryten: Wasn't it Jean Paul Satre that said that 'hell is other people>'
Lister: Yeah, but all of his mates were French

OP posts:
Original poster
Needhelp101 · 02/07/2022 11:04

Loving the quotes, keep 'em coming!

“I think we’re losing sight of the real issue here, which is: what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between ‘The League Against Salivating Monsters’ or my own personal preference, which is ‘The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society’. One drawback with that: the abbreviation is c.l.i.t.o.r.i.s.”

“I hate your guitar. If I wanted to share a cell with an irritating lump of wood, I’d have moved in with an Australian soap star.”

“Your nickname was never Ace. Maybe Ace Hole."

OP posts:
moggerhanger · 02/07/2022 11:03

One of my proudest moments recently was when DS was presented with a plate of fish and chips, and he attacked it while singing "I'm gonna eat you little fishy".

Iamanunsafebuilding · 02/07/2022 11:01

We love Red Dwarf as well! Whoever we're discussing food if fish is an option we always state that todays fish is trout a la crème 😂

NumeroZero · 02/07/2022 11:01

The book is much better. Cat in the tv show didnt ring right for me.

GirlDownUnder22 · 02/07/2022 11:00

The quarantine episode is a masterpiece

TeaStory · 02/07/2022 10:57

“Now, this 3-demensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, its bold, stark lines. Pray, what do you call it?”

”The light switch.”

”The light switch?”

”Yes.”

”I couldn't buy it, then?”

”Not really. I need it to turn the lights on and off.”

Waitwhat23 · 02/07/2022 10:55

I have always had a deep abiding love for Red Dwarf. Love the books and the tv series (only the original one though).

I love so many quotes but this always makes me laugh-

'Kryten: Well Space Corp Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must give up his life in order that the living crew members might survive.

Rimmer: Yes but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly: 'no chance you metal bastard'.'

FireGivesWarmth · 02/07/2022 10:53

SMMEEEEEEEEGHEEEEEEEEEAD

Petrarkanian · 02/07/2022 10:50

"They're all dead Dave" is repeated a lot here.

BeanCounterBabe · 02/07/2022 10:47

YANBU

’smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast’

’what a guy’

Roominmyhouse · 02/07/2022 10:44

We keep seeing him at motorbike events but I’m always too scared to say hello!

Isaidnoalready · 02/07/2022 10:38

A teacher side eyed my child for responding "I'd be lying if I said i knew" in response to a question she thought it worth pointing out on the door that day (it's from confidence and paranoia)

IncompleteSenten · 02/07/2022 10:36

I love it.
It got a bit crap in the later seasons (I never came to terms with the different Kochanski 😁) but it is still one of my favourite shows.

The Cat has some amazing lines.
Eg
I'd prefer chicken.

If you wanted the stick so badly, why'd you throw it away in the first place.

MermaidEyes · 02/07/2022 10:27

I love Red Dwarf! Can still laugh at the same episodes over and over. I met Cat once, he was genuinely lovely.

Roominmyhouse · 02/07/2022 10:27

It’s one of my all time favourite tv shows! I’ll always love it.

Glittertwins · 02/07/2022 10:25

Mr Flibble is very cross!!

dinosaurcookie · 02/07/2022 10:23

I have the DVD boxset somewhere!
I always wanted a pet skutter when I was a kid!

Needmorelego · 02/07/2022 10:22

I was in the studio audience for filming of 2 episodes. We had a warm up guy to - well warm us up into laughing. It was comedian Tony Hawks who also did the voice of the Talkie Toaster...
"Would you like a crumpet?"

Gliblet · 02/07/2022 10:21

"You can't whack death on the head!"
"If he comes near me I'm gonna rip his nipples off!"

"Mr. Flibble's very cross. You shouldn't have run away from him. What we going to do with them, Mr. Flibble?"
...
😯
"We couldn't possibly do that. Who'd clean up the mess?"
🐧

Shivermetimbers0112 · 02/07/2022 10:17

“It’s a banana. It always has been a banana, it always will be a banana. It’s a banana.” Kryten 😂

BobbinThreadbare123 · 02/07/2022 10:13

Has anybody gorra poppadom the size of Lake Michigan?

IllDoItButOnlyForTheAttention · 02/07/2022 10:03

Absolutely love seasons 1-5. And yes, they still hold up so well. DS and I watched them all in lockdown and it was so beautiful watching him creasing up laughing just like I did 30 years ago.

It does clever/silly so well.

WitchDancer · 02/07/2022 10:02

Wayne Dibley.

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