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Original poster

In thinking that Red Dwarf is still creasingly funny?

214 replies

Needhelp101 · 02/07/2022 09:22

For some reason, I started re-watching Red Dwarf last night (it's available on Now). It's still SO funny.

There was a scene between Lister and Rimmer in 'Marooned' as they were discussing losing their virginity which honestly approaches comic genius. Every time I thought the punchline was there, another one followed.

For context, Lister had said he lost his virginity 'in the ninth hole of the Bootle municipal golf course'

Lister (wistfully): She just took all her clothes off and stood in front of me, completely naked. I was so excited, I almost dropped me skateboard.
Rimmer: SKATEBOARD? How old were you?
Lister: Twelve
Rimmer: TWELVE? You lost your virginity when you were twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Rimmer: Twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Rimmer (aghast): Twelve? You were twelve?
Lister: Yeah
Silence...
Rimmer: You can't have been a full member of the golf course then.

And later
Lister: Are you saying I've got a big bum?
Rimmer: Big? It's like two badly parked Volkswagons 😁

Anyone else a fan?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Waitwhat23 · 08/03/2026 23:31

Nnnnggh. I can't believe I messed up that line. Foul then filthy.

Anyway.

From Holoship:

"Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But, I just want to say... that over the years I have come to regard you as... people... I met."

Waitwhat23 · 08/03/2026 23:21

I actually referenced Rimmer's line 'shut your filthy whining, you foul piece of distended rectum!' just the other day.

Some of my other favourites -

Kryten: Well Space Corp Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must give up his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.
Rimmer: Yes but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly: 'no chance you metal bastard'

Rimmer - 'It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard!'

'Kryten: "Is this the human value you call 'friendship'?
Lister: Don't give me this Star Trek crap, Kryten, it's too early in the morning!'

Pericombobulations · 08/03/2026 23:15

FISH!
Todays fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy Your Meal!
I will!

Mr Flibble is very angry!

ohreallyIsee · 08/03/2026 23:05

The world where time runs backwards, and everything runs backwards...

randomchap · 08/03/2026 22:58

So, what is it?

Pleatherandlace · 08/03/2026 22:52

I still love the “it does mean changing the bulb” line.

BadLad · 08/03/2026 22:41

The first six series were excellent. After that, it ranged from rubbish to OK. Series 7 is probably the least funny.

Columbidae · 08/03/2026 22:13

It's been decades but I still laugh at Kryten trying to knock Rimmer out in Legion.
"There's no such thing as an Ionian nerve grip. Now stand still while I hit you!"

"Are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb". Still funny.

And Rimmers C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S committee always gets me.

Original poster
Needhelp101 · 08/03/2026 22:01

I'm resurrecting this ANCIENT thread to pay tribute to Rob Grant, one of co-writers of Red Dwarf who died very recently. So I've started watching it again. And yes, it's still flipping great 😁

OP posts:
Kryton82 · 12/02/2023 10:01

It never gets old… really was comedic genius!

VestaTilley · 02/11/2022 20:08

I had the box set! Not watched it in years. Thank you for reminding me, OP 🙌

Spicedgingerbreadlatte83 · 02/11/2022 19:45

Cat : Step up to brown alert
Kryten : Sir there’s no such thing as brown alert !
Cat : You won’t be saying that in a minute! And don’t say I didn’t alert you! 😂

GoodJanetBadJanet · 10/07/2022 11:33

Wasn't Kathy Burke Rimmer's mum?
Don't know who played his mum but it definitely wasn't Kathy Burke.

Sophoclesthefox · 10/07/2022 11:01

”I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time they were laughing at me, as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup” 🤣 must be the best back story for a lifetime’s failure ever penned.

I must say “too slow chicken marengo, too slow for this kitty” about five times a week.

It still genuinely makes me laugh out loud, even though I’ve been watching it regularly since the eighties/nineties and must have seen every episode dozens of times. Genius.

Stabbitystabstab · 10/07/2022 10:43

"It's a load of crypto fascist bourgeois crap!!"

"My name is Olaf Peterson. I am very good in bed"

The amount of incredible actors that showed up. Wasn't Kathy Burke Rimmer's mum?

KatherineofGaunt · 10/07/2022 08:41

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 10/07/2022 07:21

'My tongue unravelled to my knees'

Flippety flippety flop

Kills me Grin

Show quote history

"Reproductive system, baby!" 🤣🤣

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 07:56

OldSpeclkledHen · 10/07/2022 07:31

Where can I watch it? I bloody love Red Dwarf!

OP mentions Now TV and the 'Dave' channel on Freeview always has loads on catch up (the Dave channel made all the later episodes).

Personally I've got them all on DVD, but I'm old!

OldSpeclkledHen · 10/07/2022 07:31

Where can I watch it? I bloody love Red Dwarf!

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 10/07/2022 07:21

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 00:35

What I love about this is the contrast between Danny John-Jules' effortless professional expertise and the valiant efforts of Chris Barrie and Craig Charles.

'My tongue unravelled to my knees'

Flippety flippety flop

Kills me Grin

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 00:35

What I love about this is the contrast between Danny John-Jules' effortless professional expertise and the valiant efforts of Chris Barrie and Craig Charles.

SteggySawUs · 10/07/2022 00:17

Iamanunsafebuilding · 02/07/2022 11:01

We love Red Dwarf as well! Whoever we're discussing food if fish is an option we always state that todays fish is trout a la crème 😂

Same!!!
If the DCs ask what we're having for dinner I'll reply "fiiiiish!" To which someone will declare that today's fish is trout a la crème 😂

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 00:09

LaurieFairyCake · 02/07/2022 12:55

I've just started watching it again from the beginning

I know EVERY WORD Shock

If only I'd turned my skills to something useful I could be president of the world or summat

Go on Mastermind with Red Dwarf as your specialist subject.

Then all of us on this thread can enjoy shouting answers at the telly.

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 00:06

beccaskylar · 04/07/2022 20:04

I had such a crush on Rimmer when I was about 16.
"I'm going to lash you to within an inch of your life and then...I'm going to have you!"
Demons and Angels, best episode hands down.

Yes! I've still got a crush on him 30 years on!

Antarcticant · 10/07/2022 00:00

Yay, Red Dwarf thread!

Demons & Angels is probably my favourite episode (the one with the triplicator). I can never stop laughing at the 'higher selves' - then Rimmer in the 'low ship' channeling Frank N Furter ... love it!

Stabbitystabstab · 09/07/2022 23:45

My very favourite episode is actually the one where they find kryten (played by a different actor) and he's fussing around his dead crew "Oh you haven't touched your soup!"
Was the first TV series to make me properly laugh

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