Having another child when your first has ASD?

I'm not saying you should have a childfor the other child. But siblings can be a beautiful dynamic even when things go wrong, my brother is a nightmare but I'd rather have him than not

I know quite a few families with more than one child and at least one of those with ASD. I think it's a positive thing, it can be especially lonely for children with ASD and siblings can make for a less lonely existence. My friend tries to make up for her son who has quite a lot of challenges and no other kids around by lots and lots of playdates but it's tricky sometimes as my son or myself aren't always in the mood and her behaviour is more challenging which is the real reason, but I always want to help because her son is great.

I'm the oldest and I'm the only one with an autism diagnosis. Neither of my siblings are diagnosed but we all share traits I would say.

Is there autism on your side of the family or your exes? A child with a different father will have different DNA. I wouldn't let it stop me. Yes I struggle but I am currently trying to have a baby and hope that understanding how autism affects me, I could help an autistic child cope better than I did growing up undiagnosed.

My son was born 5 years after my daughter. He has severe autism diagnosed age 3, non verbal, challenging behaviour, not fully continent (age 13) and will always need constant 121 care and will never live independently. My daughter was also diagnosed with autism at age 13, and has managed in mainstream education with extra support. So for me both children have autism with the second much more severely affected than the first

My youngest was diagnosed with asd just after he turned 2, his older brothers all have traits though , as do I so I think it's from my side

I wouldn't have had any more if he'd have been my first.

I'm not sure the world changing would help, just for a start my 3rd hates noise and my 4th just loves it, especially his own! Not sure how the world changing could accommodate both of them

Not all autistic people/people with ASD agree about the term they prefer. It’s best to ask the person.

It can be tough, DD was diagnosed aged 7 while DS was been assessed for continued crying aged 1.

Double whammy.

DS's sensory issues were off the chart from birth.

It has lovely moments but it can be isolating, DD is 13 now and has a lot of social anxiety.

DS is 7 he is only in a routine this year but he is rocky he is showing signs of a personality disorder.

I don't regret having them at all.

People aren't disordered and they don't have autism they are autistic. Please look up the neurodiversity movement for the sake of not crushing your son's self esteem.

My son has ASD/PDA. There was only 28 months between him and my daughter. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 10 and his sister was 7.

As soon as my daughter was born his first words were to put her back in. He swings between adoring her and absolutely hating her.

I love both of my kids dearly but if I'd known how hard my daughters life would be, I don't think I would have had her but that is totally based on how hard her life can be, how much she misses out on and the attention I can't give her. They both have the same Dad and my daughter has been refused assessment for ASD but will be undergoing a Qb test in 2 weeks to test for ADHD, which is something else her brother is diagnosed with. It really depends on the needs of the child.

And society isn't the whole problem, convenient though that idea may be. Impairment is still impairment, and frankly that's what's depressing, not admitting it

This. DS2 is autistic. Had he been DS1 he'd have been an only child. He manages pretty well day to day, now in his 30s,but still life is SO much harder for him and always will be

You compare your bringing up of your children based on how it's been for you. Common mistake, which not only omits the child's experience but also doesn't consider the future of said child.

People who suggest a change in society can be a cure all for autism are the problem.

This thread is depressing.

I have two with ASD.

Both beautiful, deep thinking, passionate, loyal teenagers. I love the world they see through their eyes, it's pure and unspoilt, unbiased, accepting and affirming. An supported, thriving and accepted person with autism is such a revelation. We need so much more.

It's our view of autistic people that needs to change, the way they are supported and accepted, acknowledging the unique contributions to society they can bring.

It's the Neuro typical world that's the problem not the people with autism.

I firmly believe this. So many are looking at autistic people through Neuro typical eyes. You can't. Embrace the differences.

They can't and don't confirm to what society expects. It's society that needs to change to accommodate not the autistic having to mask and feeling stressed trying to conform.

Those with autism who are able to mask, will do. At the expense of their mental health. Those not able to mask will be societies misfits. All autistic, all not accepted and not able to truly show the world their uniqueness.

Yes they are beautifully quirky, deeply connected but often unable to express this verbally. Yes they may have sensory issues, be unable to cope with normal everyday tasks, they may need to stim and tick but so what?

We need more autism, not less.

My DS1 sounds similar to yours, then I had an NT DD 2 years later (same dad). Both give me the same amount of joy and grief, just in different ways! I think the fact that your children will have different Dads makes things less risky, given that you think your ex is ND. I would just go for it if I were you.

This is totally unfair. Do you have experience of raising a child with complex additional needs? All people are doing is pointing out how hard it can be if your child needs intensive support. That’s not bigoted.

Lots of research available into prevalence of autism among siblings. Odds of baby being autistic higher if the elder sibling is female. Odds lowest if the baby is female and the elder sibling is male.

I have an autistic 7yo and a NT 4yo. They're like chalk and cheese. I love them both so absolute pieces.

And yes I did know my child was autistic when I got pregnant with number two. I knew the odds.

Hi, bit different but my dad has autism (would be described as Asperger's b4 and how he defines himself) he's one of 5 only one with autism but he's married with 2 children and very clever but has struggled with social cues and literal meaning and the diagnosis really helped him when he was struggling (diagnosed a few years ago) I was born first no autism that I know of but my sister was born with autism and is on the opposite side of the spectrum- so it's very difficult to say what the likelihood is - there is an increased risk but can also be fine

My eldest has Aspergers, my younger 2 (different dad) don't. Although I would certainly get a diagnosis if I sought one, so any genetic element has come from me.

I have 4. First has ASD and the other three are NT.
My FIL is very clearly undiagnosed.

Also she can’t be left alone for 5 minutes couldn’t leave her in the house alone to go anywhere she can’t go anywhere alone to school/shop etc, yeh sure all kids require care some a hell of a lot more than others clearly 🙄

This is silly, my daughter is 11 and needs 24/7 care can’t be left alone has no danger awareness needs help with everything including dressing, toilet, bath etc I don’t know any NT 11 year old that requires help with those things. So now we are not allowed to say other children have more care needs? She has a full time 1:1 all day in school.

Well to be fair there did used to be the definition of Aspergers. But then some people didn't want to be associated with the questionable research methods used by a doctor under the Nazi regime.