I was really rude and possibly discriminatory to my boss. What should I do?

Tbh saying that a gay man would be unlikely to experience abortion is not particularly discriminatory, it is fact. There was nothing unpleasant about his sexuality in that.

Why is a woman stating her opinion a personal outburst?

It's a personal outburst because she said 'You’re a gay man so it has no bearing on you whatsoever' - that's pretty personal.

Imagine the outrage if someone said 'you're a woman so it has no bearing on you whatsoever' to dismiss someone's opinion.

I DO understand the OP's anger and why she said it, but it was not an appropriate way of dealing with it.

Making cheap dig at a persons sexual orientation is not the best way to state an opinion .

I am the only woman on the team and I was getting more and more irate. I blurted out something I probably shouldn’t have. I can’t remember exactly but it was something along the lines of:

“Well, what’s it to you? You’re a gay man so it has no bearing on you whatsoever but it is going to impact millions of often poor and vulnerable women. Men should have no say over women’s bodies.”

Its an environment where they're used to discussing issues. She allowed her emotions to get the better of her and was rude. If its her job she shouldn't be losing her cool. Your a man, your gay, your opinion doesn't matter is not an argument.

If she was in some form of political research or reporting I'd be concerned that she may not be able to present an unbiased report if she allows her personal opinions to shine through.

Not saying she's wrong just that its not the environment to come out with those sort of statements.

Why is a woman stating her opinion a personal outburst?

If she works in politics and can't argue her case without personal outbursts she needs a new job, or to become a politician.

Yes well done for speaking up. It's a vile, shocking ruling and hard to believe he agrees with it. So I can understand that you must have been incensed.

But two wrongs don't make a right and what you said could be considered discriminatory. Yes, it's about women's bodies and our rights to choose - totally agree with that of course. But men - gay, straight, whatever are entitled to opinions. Also, gay men do father children, and some of the mothers may want or need to terminate the pregnancy. Whilst I believe ultimately it's the mother's choice, you can't say a biological father won't be affected by that decision just because they are gay.
You'd also be on sticky ground if anyone on the call didn't know he is gay (although it sounds like he is out with your team?)

It's a highly emotive topic and I fully understand your anger,

I'd suggest a quiet private conversation with him might be appropriate - which isn't the same as saying you should apologise.

I guess keeping his sexuality out of it might have been preferable but his opinion is in blatant disregard for all the suffering and pain this ruling brings. If you’re going to be intentionally outspoken on a sensitive subject you’re likely to get on the wrong side of someone’s temper…I think you were pretty chill all things considered.

Ahhh but in this case it does matter though!

Totally agree. Just a shame that this process of debate and voting removes a woman's choice regarding her body primarily by men, many of whom ironically, seem unable to actually stick around and support their offspring.

America is not exactly known for its generous social system at the best of times either.

Contraception next- already hard to access in many places. Another choice taken away.

Doesn't matter what sex, gender, sexual orientation etc, we all have an equal right (and responsibility) to frame abortion (or any other) law, through debate and voting.

It actually would affect him OP.

all those babies in the USA that will be born now to mothers That can’t look after them, don’t want them, will abandon them. Who do you think they’ll go to?

eager adopters. Many wealthier people inc gay men will benefit from the abandonment of lots Of babies because of the abortion ban.

when things like this happen. You cannot just look at who will suffer. Women and girls, especially women and girls from poorer backgrounds are now at an increased risk of maternal death etc
but we also need to look at who will benefit from this drastic change in law.

Some people have spoken about a male partner having input, having a say, etc...

Let's be honest here. Men only get a say into the decision as to whether we proceed with the pregnancy or abort as long as their say matches our say. If they wanted to keep the baby and we didn't want to carry it, we'd abort. If they didn't want to be a father and we wanted to be mums, we'd try to carry to term.

The whole 'men have input' isn't really true. We just try to make them feel included. But it's our decision. Always.

As least it should be...

She did point out she works in politics and duscuss political issues. Considering that it's a hot topic it would be difficult to avoid.

Well done! You spoke up for womens rights

Do not apologise or back down. HE was offensive to YOU

I think he was really irresponsible to be discussing this as a manager.
You referenced his sensuality but you were not derogatory about it so I wouldn't worry.
If he took it further, he'd have to discuss how and why it came up in conversation and he would find himself in hot water too.

There's a difference between input and going through with the final abortion. Let's be honest the man can have an opinion but it's the woman's call ... because its her body!

Of course they do, if I was to consider abortion I’d absolutely wish my husbands input into that decision, of course it’s ultimately my call but as the father he has a say and I’d wish him to have input

Yes but presumably you are in a loving relationship and you would use contraception and actually the risks of an unwanted pregnancy in that scenario are very small.

But if you found out the baby was going to be badly disabled, or the pregnancy would endanger your life, I'd say that's where his say ends. It's your decision and yours alone at that point.

Of course the grey area is if there is a contraception failure. But still your choice, as all the negatives fall on you.

It’s ludicrous isn’t it that someone’s would write such a thing. The arguments have got so ridiculous.

and to the poster who asked what would it look like my husband having a say in an abortion or birth, it would look like two people discussing it, with love and care, on what was the best option for us as a family, the pros the cons, each of our feelings, ultimately the decision is mine, it’s always the woman’s at a micro level, but this doesn’t mean men can’t have a say. Which is very different

and pretending men don’t have a say shows a huge huge ignorance of politics. Everyone gets a say ultimately by who they vote in, it’s the very basics of democracy,

The ignorance would be laughable if it wasn't so serious.

I didn't realise gay men were all infertile.

Or that being able to impregnate someone means that you gain control over their body.

I'd have said both unreasonable if it you hadn't mentioned it is relevant to your work. In this case I'd say you both put an opinion forward, and it'll likely just blow over.

His sexuality is relevant. As a gay man he can neither get pregnant nor impregnate somebody. You'll be fine. Just ignore and move on.

I don't think what you said about his sexuality was discrimination its true he's not really going to give birth.

You do realise that men cannot give birth, regardless of their sexuality

Of course they do, if I was to consider abortion I’d absolutely wish my husbands input into that decision, of course it’s ultimately my call but as the father he has a say and I’d wish him to have input.

Yes, on an individual level a man can have an opinion on whether or not he wants his wife/partner/gf/ex etc to snort his child.

But this is a question of legality, on whether or not a woman should be allowed an abortion, for ANY reason. And that, IMO, isn't really something that men should have control over. And I therefore am not interested in their opinion. It is a question of bodily autonomy, and thus a position that a man would NEVER find himself in