I was really rude and possibly discriminatory to my boss. What should I do?

But that’s not relevant the context of an unwanted pregnancy, or a pregnancy with complications that make termination the best option. In the first instance pregnancy would be planned and in the second he’d have no emotional attachment to the surrogate.

Rubbish. What if the surrogate suddenly decides to abort?

She'd obviously have every right to do that despite promising to have a baby for the gay couple.

It's so dismissive to claim abortion can never affect gay men.

His sexuality isn't irrelevant, he won't be in the situation of a gf wanting an abortion. Many men use the argument that they want a say in any children conceived, he hasn't got that argument. If he used a surrogate, she wouldn't be getting an abortion for any other reason but medical. Some gay men use IVF etc with their surrogates, which hasn't really been discussed because IVF creates life and then we destroy what embryos we don't want.
I think it's best to stick to the points about the removal of maternity/miscarriage/ectopic care and discuss the availability of contraception. Don't apologise, forced birth is horrific.

How did he and the others react??

Where has the OP said he introduced the topic?

She said I was in our Monday team zoom meeting. We somehow got onto the Roe v Wade ruling.

If he’s so right wing he’s completely anti abortion, thinks he can spout that crap off to a female employee, but then thinks he has the right to have a baby by surrogate, he would be most detestable and I doubt he’d get much support at work.

In either case I doubt there’ll be any comeback on OP.

Are you me? I’d would definitely have said something similar and then been a bit worried I’d be in trouble but equally feel I’d done nothing wrong.

And in response to @TeapotTitties , gay men can be fathers but it's a desired outcome, not qn unwanted pregnancy
They don't have to face that.

Well you're not alone.

@IncompleteSenten has just said He is gay so will never impregnate a woman and not want a child.

The ignorance here is breathtaking.

They are wrong.

By saying that a gay man has less right to an opinion, she is also saying that a straight/bi man does have the right.

So she's not only being discriminatory but also playing straight into the hands of men's rights activists.

Heterosexual men do often say they should have a say though.

They're wrong, imo. But it is true that there are men who get a woman pregnant and think they get to decide what happens and as a gay man he will never be in that situation.

Nor will any heterosexual man ever be in this situation. It was a needless reference to his sexuality. No men get pregnant or will ever need an abortion.

He introduced the topic and gave his personal views in a strident & provocative matter so I think he'd be viewed poorly by HR. I doubt he'd take it further.

If there is a repeat I think I'd address it by saying "We can discuss ideology in the round but we should not veer in to our personal views in work. Your opinions are just that."

FWIW I don't think his sexuality should have been referenced simply because I don't think heterosexual men should get a say either.

I’m not convinced that what you said was discriminatory and I’m pretty sure I’d have struggled not to say the same thing myself.
If he’s as right wing as you think he should at least be supportive of freedom of speech and he’s possibly used to women calling him out.
I think you should stand by what you said (as it’s true) and if you’re having political conversations in work they ought to be honest and open.

I agree, dont qpologise.
As a right wing man, would he like to pay more tax to fund childcare? Would he vote for that? Bet he wouldn't. Just absolute entitlement that women bare the costs in a two fold way, less freedom to earn as well as the expense of raising a child.

It was relevent to your point.
He is not female so will never have to make that decision.
He is gay so will never impregnate a woman and not want a child.

You weren't saying urgh you're gay.

You were making the point that he will never be in the situation.

So it wasn't a mistake - you actually do believe that as a gay man he has less right to have an opinion than a straight man does?

That is discriminatory, and it is also wrong.

Because as well as being offensive, you're also implying that heterosexual men should have rights over pregnant women's bodies.

Which is also stupid and wrong.

It implies he has less of a say just because of his sexuality (which tbh I stand by - it literally has zero impact on him. At least some other guys could say if it involves their baby it does impact them).

See even this is quite dismissive if you don't understand that gay men can and do (often) have children.

It’s offensive to mention his sexuality where it has no relevance, but in this case it does as means that abortion has no relevance to him whatsoever.

But gay men can and do become fathers by using surrogates (a whole other contentious issue), so in that sense it could affect him in the same way it could if he was straight.

@Rainbowshine very well put xx

This

I don’t think you said anything discriminatory at all. You mentioned he is gay, you didn’t say anything homophobic, just offered your opinion that it isn’t an issue that is very relevant to him. In his personal life he may have a relative or daughter affected by these issues, and he is allowed to have an opinion and express it but if he decides to do that AT WORK then he has to expect other people to have a different opinion. It is a very controversial subject area and highly likely that many people will disagree with him.

If the boss opens up sensitive issues for debate, then he should expect a debate. He can’t take offence if he doesn’t like the fact his staff have different opinions to him.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.. even if you work in the political sphere I can’t see how him spouting his own beliefs are allowed..? I think you could absolutely say you found his remarks offensive if this escalates in any way. xx