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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how many people you've slept with?

165 replies

ErinAndTonic · 21/06/2022 18:27

Do you even know the number.. I was thinking today that I've never actually 'tallied' it (not sure if it's a more male thing to do!) but I think it's around 9 or 10.

I've no idea what's considered high/low for women.. and I assume mens are higher.. although my partner tells me he's only slept with 2 people which shocked me! 

OP posts:
LarissaRose · 21/06/2022 19:25

2 people and I'm 30. I was in a relationship from 18 to 28 and then current partner from 29 to now 30

NothingIsWrong · 21/06/2022 19:23

@Hallyup89

Why does having sex with people mean you have less self respect?

entropynow · 21/06/2022 19:23

Hallyup89 · 21/06/2022 19:20

Damn right.

Show quote history

Let's not mention the 'are you really asexual/frigid/prudish' for the low numbers women...
Cos that never happens, right?

user1487194234 · 21/06/2022 19:22

2 serious partners and a few flings
maybe 10 in total
Absolutely no regrets and in real life I would not discuss

Bunnyfuller · 21/06/2022 19:21

@Hallyup89

what?! Why does having sex equal anything to do with self respect?!

did we just go back in time?!

entropynow · 21/06/2022 19:21

Simonjt · 21/06/2022 18:49

Surely straight mens wouldn’t be too different to the average straight womans number?

That doesn't work as numbers are not constant in the population by age and sexual activity varies by age and over time

Hallyup89 · 21/06/2022 19:20

NothingIsWrong · 21/06/2022 19:20

And there comes the shaming of women.

Show quote history

Damn right.

NothingIsWrong · 21/06/2022 19:20

This reply has been deleted

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And there comes the shaming of women.

entropynow · 21/06/2022 19:19

One (1).

NothingIsWrong · 21/06/2022 19:18

I think probably around 40, but only 1 for the last 22 years.

Hallyup89 · 21/06/2022 19:18

This reply has been deleted

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 21/06/2022 18:50

4 between the ages of 16 and 18. Number 4 is my DH. His number is higher than mine but he’s older than me.

I’m not bothered by my number and can’t get worked up about anyone else’s either. The only thing that would bother me is if any of them were not consensual.

Simonjt · 21/06/2022 18:49

Surely straight mens wouldn’t be too different to the average straight womans number?

TreacheryPepper · 21/06/2022 18:48

Between 55 and 70. Same one for the last eight years though, and I can't see that changing.

DjoChateaux · 21/06/2022 18:46

Mine is higher than my husbands. It doesn't matter what is considered high or low to me.

NorthernLights5 · 21/06/2022 18:45

No idea! I was raped as a child which impacted me and was a factor in making me very promiscuous. I first had consensual sex at 13 so around 15 years ago. The number I'd say is more than 50, less than 100.

I do think it's an odd question to ask and if I had to guess it's for quotes and/or research for some weird article!

Women are definitely still called derogatory names for daring to be sexually active whereas boys aren't which I think is disgraceful. It's the same with masturbation, seen as completely normal, a need even for men, but something shameful for women.

Too many women are shamed of their bodies and/or hugely uninformed about it, how their bodies work and the fact that we are all very different.

Ugzbugz · 21/06/2022 18:45

About 40 but honestly can't remember most of them and neither do I want to 🤢

SpaceJamtart · 21/06/2022 18:43

I stopped counting, felt weird to keep a proper tally.

Bit confused why you think mens would be be generally higher? Unless they are only having sex with each other, surely it should be about the same as women. Unless there is just like a few powerful women taking it for the team?

artisanbread · 21/06/2022 18:42

About 20. Only one since I met DH aged 25 though.

KatherineofGaunt · 21/06/2022 18:42

Two long-term relationships and a one-night stand.

nalabae · 21/06/2022 18:41

Over 20 but under 30

SausageAndCash · 21/06/2022 18:40

About 25.

SilverPeacock · 21/06/2022 18:40

About 15 but only 1 for the last 25 years

SavoirFlair · 21/06/2022 18:40

This kind of thread doesn’t ever end well because the women who have lived a happy, consensual, adventurous sex life, get subtly called the kind of names that belong in the 1950s or 1960s.

or the head tilting question of “how could you possibly have the time?” Or “doesn’t it get exhausting trying to remember all the names” kind of stuff

Then you get the other side of the coin which is “1 or 2 (including DH) and proud of it” kind of thing

Me? I’m somewhere between 50 and 100. I am happy with this and no regrets. My attractive (to me) OH has a fair bit fewer in his number but he was in a very long relationship from 21 to 33 years of age.

the key is, we both have very similar matched sex drives which is why he’s happy with my number and I get his.

RedCarsGoFaster · 21/06/2022 18:36

Lots.

I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s.

Do numbers matter? Only when someone else is going to use them to judge you - either for being "frigid" or a "slag" IME.