Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many people you've slept with?

165 replies

ErinAndTonic · 21/06/2022 18:27

Do you even know the number.. I was thinking today that I've never actually 'tallied' it (not sure if it's a more male thing to do!) but I think it's around 9 or 10.

I've no idea what's considered high/low for women.. and I assume mens are higher.. although my partner tells me he's only slept with 2 people which shocked me! 

OP posts:
housemaus · 21/06/2022 20:58

About 20-25? Not sure exactly.

I first had sex 17 years ago, have been in long term relationships about half that time (8.5 years) with 4 people in total.

So that leaves - say - roughly 20 people in roughly 8.5 years. About 2 and half people a year while single. I think that's quite reasonable, a woman has needs...!

nannybeach · 21/06/2022 20:50

If you mean "had sex with" ,why not ask that. I have slept with my children, completely different thing.

D0lphine · 21/06/2022 20:48

I think you are unreasonable to ask that actually...

No one's business if it's 0 or a million. Doesn't change who you are as a person.

TitsInAbsentia · 21/06/2022 20:47

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 21/06/2022 18:36

Wouldn't be able to add it up but its going to be high. I was searching for love and affection as a young adult, unfortunately for various reasons associated that with sex.

I can totally identify with this. I wish I'd been able to understand the difference.

LeniGray · 21/06/2022 20:46

Six … four women, two men. And big chunks of accidental celibacy 🤷‍♀️

BaggaChip · 21/06/2022 20:46

Honestly I’m surprised that the lower numbers seem to predominate…

Roughly 50ish for me. I like people and I enjoy sex. A fair few of my friends have similar attitudes to sex as me - maybe a generational thing or maybe I just get along great with fellow slags 😉

In all seriousness - I honestly don’t get the shame around it, particularly now a days.

My husband says his is about 70. I’m weirdly proud he’s been so successful, ha!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/06/2022 20:43

I fell asleep of one of Freddie Laker's Skytrains coming back from the US and they could carry between 280 and 350 passengers.
So on that basis it must be around 300.

I slept though it all. I was bit achy when I got to Gatwick... 🎒

Original poster
ErinAndTonic · 21/06/2022 20:39

SavoirFlair · 21/06/2022 18:40

This kind of thread doesn’t ever end well because the women who have lived a happy, consensual, adventurous sex life, get subtly called the kind of names that belong in the 1950s or 1960s.

or the head tilting question of “how could you possibly have the time?” Or “doesn’t it get exhausting trying to remember all the names” kind of stuff

Then you get the other side of the coin which is “1 or 2 (including DH) and proud of it” kind of thing

Me? I’m somewhere between 50 and 100. I am happy with this and no regrets. My attractive (to me) OH has a fair bit fewer in his number but he was in a very long relationship from 21 to 33 years of age.

the key is, we both have very similar matched sex drives which is why he’s happy with my number and I get his.

I think none of these answers are wrong and it's shame people would feel a need to nudge. I just like hearing perspectives as I'm a curious soul! Meeting the one early on is a lovely thing, as is having some fun while you're young and free!

OP posts:
Fameinaframe · 21/06/2022 20:33

8 but 5 of them were underage during an abusive childhood where now as an adult i see they were themselves abusive men taking advantage of an underage abused young girl.
The other 3 were all long term relationships one being my current DH.

The number doesn't matter there is no right or wrong. Your life is your life and all you can do is keep going making everyday hopefully count. 🙏

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 21/06/2022 20:33

2 for me approx 6 for my DP. I wish I had slept around more to be honest and (it's weird to say) want my DDs to not settle too early

MelvinThePenguin · 21/06/2022 20:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RaginaPhalange · 21/06/2022 20:28

I've only slept with dh and I don't plan on that changing.

teezletangler · 21/06/2022 20:27

I don't think these threads are ever representative. People with lower, more typical numbers are less likely to respond. Same as the "how many times a week do you have sex" threads which give the impression that the average long term couple is doing it 3-4 times per week...

Not sure of my number, it's around 7.

Threeboysandadog · 21/06/2022 20:26

1

mumda · 21/06/2022 20:26

A nice but not necessarily true answer:
Three. My first love, my ex- and you.

Thebeastofsleep · 21/06/2022 20:22

I'm not sure. I think around 30 but it could 50+. I don't think I could even write them all down if I'm honest.

Mummadeze · 21/06/2022 20:21

I slept with around 100 people from age 15 - 30 which is actually only around 7 people a year, less than one person a month. I don’t think that is a lot of sex for a single person to have particularly. Some experiences were amazing, some were horrific. Not many regrets, I think the good outweighed the bad over all.

SofiaSoFar · 21/06/2022 20:19

"Slept with..."

So fucking twee.

Cheeseplant72 · 21/06/2022 20:18

Around 45.

1moreyear · 21/06/2022 20:18

I don't know DHs I've never asked because I have a feeling it's only 2....me and his ex wife. Confused I'd rather not know!

I can't remember mine, it's below 10. I've been married 17 years and honestly not thought about it for years! This may keep me up tonight trying to remember!

BlancmanegeBunny · 21/06/2022 20:18

Two and I married them both!!!
I was with ex dh for 18 years and have been with dh for 18 years.

Cornucopia55 · 21/06/2022 20:17

Not as many as I'd like 😉

MyHusbandTheIdiot · 21/06/2022 20:17

13 or 14 I think, only one of those for the last 9 years. I’m in my early thirties, sexually active for 6 years before meeting DH, so it only averages just over 2 a year, which is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of single university life!

SouperNoodle · 21/06/2022 20:16

Fuck the Daily Mail.
Around 17 but only 1 for the past 7 years.
Fuck the Daily Mail.

GreyTS · 21/06/2022 20:14

No idea, loads probably but I love sex and all my experiences have been overwhelming positive so no regrets at all