To be furious with daughters school.

Get her a phone.

She should have gone back to the school though.

She's year 6 not year 1.

She has the ability to use her legs and her mouth. She should know what to do, and if she doesn't then I actually think thats parental failure to teach her independence and responsibility.

In less than 3 months time what will she be doing to get to and from school? If all she knows is being picked up and dropped off, you are infantilising her. Its not in her interests to still be dependent to that degree. I get that might be the default transport due to your location, but she still needs to know know how to cope in a situation like this, and really you should be thinking about this now. What is your plan B?

At that age the expectation is that children are capable of managing a situation like this without the aid of school.

For that reason I do think you are being unreasonable, as I think you and your daughter need to take a degree of responsibility at this point due to her age. 'Being furious with the school' is definitely taking it too far. It would be an appriopriate response for a younger child, but I do take some issue with your attitude for a child just about to go to high school. Its definitely less black and white.

Some people really need to read the OP again.

The school messed up here, I’d definitely be speaking to them. Hope your daughter is ok.

Group text messages can be sent, a phone call better if practical. YANBU. I agree with others that your DD should have remained at school.

I agree it isn’t ideal but there should have been other safety nets in place, as things like these happen. It wasn’t the schools sole responsibility. They made a mistake but yourself and your daughter made many more.

• You should discuss beforehand if something like this happens, what she is to do
• At Year 6, she should be capable of understanding she must return to the school or talk to a trusted adult
• That she has a phone, portable charger, emergency contacts, emergency bus money and a house key.

I think if you choose to go hard on the school, you have to be hard on yourself too

I don't think you can blame the school if she has permission to leave the premises alone.

Would you have answered the phone if you didn't see the email? Do you not get email notifications?

I’ve never known a child care provider not to collect from school due to safeguarding policies.

It might not be a childcare provider. It could be a dance class or sports club.

The year 6s where I live, the ones who do the local dance school just walk there themselves, especially in summer term.

It's a fuck up, they should have ensured a parents were aware.

But worth agreeing some sensible things your daughter could have done:

• gone back to school
• gone to a friends house who lives in the village, where there would have been a phone she could use/adult who could help.

I'm a bit surprised the school let her walk out when she doesnt live locally. At our school y5/6 can walk if the teacher agrees - it's based on there being an adult at home etc.

It’s bad and yes I would drop a note to the school.
But my Y6 would have told school you weren’t coming for an hour, or gone back into school when you didn’t come to collect, rather than stand there for an hour.

That’s disgraceful, and a safeguarding issue. Report to the designated safeguarding lead at the school.

I'm in Scotland and the school my kids go to stop checking for parents after Primary 2.
Primary 1 and 2 kids are let out at the gate when the teacher sees a parent. The rest of the school pretty much stampede out and almost everyone walks or cycles home alone/with friends feel that age.
About 20% get collected by a car in the school parents car park area but everyone else just walks/cycles home, most without an adult.

YANBU

That's pretty awful

Is this a childcare after school club or an activity based club and is it run by the school? There used to be private after school child care providers at a few schools I’ve worked at and the contract was between them and the parents, they also collected children from school. Surely if this is the case the onus is on the child care provider to let you know the club is cancelled. I’ve never known a child care provider not to collect from school due to safeguarding policies.

But then she needs a back up plan not to just stand there. With no phone turning around and going back to school makes much more sense.

That is shocking

I would be livid !!

Why didn't she go back into school?

Are people missing that Op's dd walks from school into the next village to be collected?
With no reason not to believe the teacher when she said her mum had been informed, she obviously walked as usual and waited at the meeting point, probably assuming her mum was running a bit late, but was on her way.

If you had no reception at work maybe they tried to phone you when you didn't answer the email.
If protocols at the school are to let the students go home alone then maybe that's what happened.
If you're fostering independence then your daughter needs to know how to telephone someone in unforseen circumstances
I'd mention it to the school that you can't access either email and have no phone reception. Maybe another adult's details should be the point of contact in case she's sick at school and they need to call someone.

School should have made sure you knew it was cancelled.

but you have given permission for her to leave school alone. You need to remind your daughter that if something goes wrong she goes to the office and lets someone know. I would also give her a phone to keep in the bottom of the bag.

Too late now, but in circumstances like clubs being cancelled I would have suggested DD stay at school rather than walk to your meeting place. Just in case you couldn’t leave immediately to pick her up

Why didn’t your dd go back into school when she realised she wasn’t being picked up?

My dc has a similar arrangement to yours in Y6, I taught them to go back into school and tell an adult if I wasn’t there for some reason.

Be annoyed with the school for poor communication, but not because your dd had to wait for you alone for an hour, because that would have been easily solved.

That’s really bad.
back in primary, I always had 2p extra so I could phone my mum if there were any issues. But phone boxes have disappeared.

do complain to the school. That’s not acceptable.

but also talk to your daughter about safe ways of dealing with situations like this.

YANBU - irresponsible too, as they are still quite young.

Absolutely if they didn't follow procedure I'd be complaining.

As an aside I'd get a child of year 6 a phone if they've started to travel alone. A basic non smartphone to make calls will be fine and also give them some emergency money.