To be furious with daughters school.

I'm inclined to agree.

A year 6 who, to all intents and purposes, "walks home" - does the school actually know that she doesn't walk home, but in fact goes to a designated meeting place? I can guess that, as they know DD walks home, would have naturally assumed that she just... walked home?

Lesson learned though, she needs a phone and/or a plan for when things go tits up. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing though.

Also, @Incognitomum11 given she's y6, why did she leave the school and not go to the office and ask for you to be contacted? Given she's off to secondary, it's concerning that she didn't...

Who runs the ASC? Is it actually the school or just on school property?

I think the school’s actions were well below the standard you should be able to expect. They failed in several ways - email isn’t the ideal choice, especially since you’ve informed them you don’t have Internet access during the day. They attempted to handle this by asking parents to confirm they’d received the email, but anyone with experience knows that doesn’t work well with most of the public and they clearly didn’t track responses and then follow up with those who hadn’t replied. They also falsely told your DD you had been made aware and let her leave with that false understanding.

it’s a safeguarding concern and certainly something to follow up about.

However, as you also seem to have now realised, it’s not just the school whose plans failed to allow for imperfection. This incident has highlighted that your own pick up practices aren’t robust and don’t have a way for you or your DD to handle things not going to plan. A phone for DD is one tool. You should probably also make sure she knows a couple of phone numbers by heart and has an idea of how to get home or to some other safe place by herself.

It's a really big fuck up, and needs raising. But I do think when they're making their own way home you need some plan B discussions, for example what if you'd been delayed by a road accident or something else unexpected. If you don't give her a phone she should have a watch and a cut-off time by which she should return to school.

It is unacceptable we all agree.

Do you agree though that if you are attempting to foster independence you need fo teach your dd what to do in unexpected situations?

The school absolutely should have informed you. My DS is year 7 and his secondary school always messages to tell us if clubs are cancelled, it’s on the school app so I get a notification I can’t miss. They shouldn’t have sent an email when it was such short notice, not everyone checks them often. It should have been a quick phone call to let everyone know. She definitely needs a phone in future though to avoid something like this recurring.

It isn't harder to call a landline but if there's a problem with the line or it's engaged, then OP is uncontactable. Schools usually ask for three means of contact - landline; mobile; email. They expect at least two. The problem with OP's new job is that there's no back-up if there's a problem with the landline. That's why OP has to consider every eventuality and think about another network; a signal booster; or changing who is the priority emergency contact.

Why didn't she walk home or ask the school to call you

Yes, at DDs school, it is year 5.

My DD’s school allow students to walk home from Y3 (though I won’t be letting DD walk home on her own next year- seems too early).

I would give her a basic phone and an emergency £5 never to be used for anything other than emergencies though.

Goodskin46 the girl is yr 6 so 10 or nearly 11. Her mum and school are happy for her to leave unaccompanied. Most primary schools let yr 6 walk home alone. My local primary does. It seems popular time to start a bit of independence to get ready for yr 7 when they might have to walk further or get a bus etc.
Better to have happened now on a light summer evening in a village.

It is June your yr 7 cannot be just 11 if you are in England. If a child at the end of yr7 cannot walk home without friends there is a problem.

She should know to go back into school and tell reception or find a teacher if there is a hiccup in their collection arrangements. It is drummed into their heads from the star. Ifeally the school should have phoned you. Bit if you have an arrangement whereby your kid leaves school unaccompanied you cant really blame the school.i can't believe you haven't drilled her on what to do if you are not there

I have to admit that I am surprised no-one appears to have stopped and asked if she was ok. A kid standing around for an hour should be very noticeable in a village.

I have a vivid memory of the day the school bus was (very) late, and the lady whose house I'd been standing outside came out to let me know what time it was and did I need her to ring anyone for me?

....when I got home my DS was sitting on the doorstop. He had sat there for 40 mins.

Surely the solution to that is to give him a front door key, or have a key safe, so he can let himself in?

'YANBU OP, that she is in year 7 in September is irrelevant, some year 6's are 10 still, my year 7 DD has just turned 11 and I would not be happy about this as at this age'

She doesn't have to be happy with it she has to accept in life mistakes are made sadly and as a responsible parent she needs to equip her dd with the tools on how to manage. To stand alone for an hour is crazy. Kids should have contact numbers and the ability to think for themselves.

YANBU OP, that she is in year 7 in September is irrelevant, some year 6's are 10 still, my year 7 DD has just turned 11 and I would not be happy about this as at this age I only let her walk to school with a friend at the time everyone is walking to school, so loads of adults and parents of younger ones on route. I would never allow her to stand around fro an hour on her own, it is a completely different scenario. There is proportionate independence for a primary school aged child. Even in year 7 my son walked home on his own but there is an expectation of a regular routine that you know of, one time he didn't return and I didn't sit around thinking wrll he is in year 7, I was ringing around, texting people I thought he might be with and it turns out he decided to go to a friend's house I didn't know. I would say even now I am slightly anxious when DS who is 15 has not returned at the time I expect, or he is not there when I get home from work as it is not in line with expectations. Obviously, he has usually gone to a friend's house or the park but he doesn't always text me or reply to my texts to let me know. It is

This.

If you want to foster some independence then she needs to have and understand contingency plans. That isn't walking to the village and hope her dm has been informed it is giving her means to contact you if you aren't there. Yes you'll now give her a mobile but once they are at an age they are doing stuff alone that is when you give them mobiles, not when problems arise.

Take this as a wake up call. Also if you aren't always contactable she needs the number or address of a family friend or relative to go to in events like this.

Did a year 6 dc really stand waiting for an hour?!

I was about to be furious for you then remembered loads of this kind of stuff happening in year 7. It stems from a lack of maturity or information on your daughters part about what to do if her journey home is disrupted in any way. What to do if her bus is cancelled (if she’ll be getting the bus home from secondary), if she meets someone threatening on the way home, if it’s dark after school and she doesn’t feel safe walking where she is, if someone offers her a lift home that wasn’t planned….. all of this needs to be discussed and it’s her responsibility to act sensibly. If she isn’t sensible, she shouldn’t be making her way home come by herself come September when it’ll be getting darker in the evenings.

Your daughter is going to high school in a few months, she needs to take some responsibility herself. She could have spoken up.

The school messed up and did not follow its own procedures (make sure parent has read the email). I'd complain about that.

However this is a big growing-up moment, and being livid with the school makes it seem to dd like she isn't ready for independence. She'll be in secondary a couple of months from now.

What can you praise about dd's actions? And what should she have done differently? She's at the very end of Y6, and should have the tools to assess the situation and think of a safe, sensible solution, whether that is going back to school or to a friend.

She is safe and well (no thanks to the school), so she deserves credit for handling herself. Also pointers on what to do better.

Not good enough, they shouldn't have released any kids until parents confirmed they had received the message.

I agree, there is fault on both sides, so raising it with the school to firm up their contact system is a good idea, but your arrangement with your dd had “potential for disaster” written all over it and you should have thought it through better and had a back up plan.