To ask if Co-Ed is better than single sex..

I went to a single sex grammar and then a mixed sixth form college. I wasn't that happy at the grammar in later years, not necessarily just because it was single sex, though I dont think it is right to expect teens to grow up with limited contact with the opposite sex, as I did - I literally had no contact with boys other than with my younger brother and his friends. Going to sixth form was life changing and I loved it - pre internet days though.

But I wouldn't have sent my girls to a single sex school - both went to comprehensives. And the mixed aspect was not problematic for either.

I went to a single sex school and wouldn't send my child to one.

@littlepeas

Maybe some do t but it's a rare child
That goes full on sex at 13/14 years old.

It's a gradual process.

But if a girl has never had a boyfriend until uni or work she may end up in some very uncomfortable positions.

I'm for co Ed as it's not natural to be segregated IMO. It teaches and enforces the idea men and women are different.

We need to begin this from babyhood if we really want change. By the time they get to senior school it's too late anyway and just ingrains the behaviour

I have a girl and a boy and won't tolerate sexist talk in my house.

Do you really believe that kids in year 9 and 10 only kiss each other on the cheek? If so, you are incredibly naive!

i think it depends on the child. if a girl only has sisters, or is an only child, and her father is fairly authoritarian, then sending her to an all girls' school could be a problem because she won't have any experience of boys/men other than her father, and then to launch into 'life' aged 18, meeting boys as friends/work colleagues for the first time, its likely she might find herself behaving with them exactly as she behaves with her father, i.e., not speaking up for herself and/or saying yes the whole time. Which is a problem.

I think it's so much better that children go to a co-ed school where they see all the little tentative 'relationships' starting - they 'go out' with each other for about 3 days, then 'split up' but they never actually go on a date or do anything physcal, then in about Year 9 or 10, maybe they 'go out' for a couple of weeks and there's a kiss on the cheek involved and slowly, slowly they learn to get used to world of relationships and are not dropped in at the deep end at 18 with no experience whatsoever, where other people have already learnt to say no, or set boundaries.

Equally, if all your debating classes are girls only, how are you going to cope at university when faced with young men in your class? I'm not convinced that avoiding boys until you're an adult actually makes you more able to compete with them at all.

Co-ed for mine all the way.

Doesn’t this thread just show that it is the individual school and child that matters rather than the type of school. It’s kinda like - which is better state or Indy? Well - it depends… if it was a school where sex assaults happened and were tolerated, I would prefer single sex. If it were a single sex school with hyper competitiveness and bullying then I would prefer co Ed. If my choices were between 2 bad schools, I would home Ed or move area. If neither had big issues, I would lean more towards co Ed personally (though I did enjoy single sex, so that wouldn’t be a bad choice either).

I also imagine none of the mums of girls think theirs is the one bullying/being bitchy to the others.

NRTFT but I went to a single sex school and when the DDs came along, I vowed and declared I would never put them through that den of bitchiness. Round here, the only girls' school is an Indy and we could never have afforded the fees, so it was immaterial. DH went to a mixed comprehensive so was supportive. Our DDs both went to a mixed state grammar school - I have worked there for 20 years.

Both did/are doing STEM degree courses/PhDs now. Both have a wide circle of friends both lads and girls (and non binary). I'm not saying it was all amazing, but you get idiots everywhere and you need to learn to deal with them. Neither DD ever had a problem with being good at sciences and Maths; it was just expected that if you are good at Chemistry and Maths at GCSE, you'll go on to A level. Both did FM, one did Physics, the other Biology. I am most definitely NOT a science teacher. The only issue both DDs had of sexism came from a member of the SLT who is a misogynistic twat.

I’m not accusing any boy-mom’s or their son’t, but don’t all mom’s (parents) think they are the one’s with decent/sweet boys, and that’s part of the problem.

Everyone thinking their son/brother/father/whatever men in their lives are the decent one’s.

Considering how many girls/women are hurt by men, the math isin’t mathing.

No, its an argument for boys' behaviour to be managed and contained.

Covering women up does not change male behaviour which is the actual problem here, not women's bodies.

I just asked DD (yr 11) about this. She is aware that some of the boys do discuss porn and that some boys (and girls) do talk about sex, but that is amongst themselves and doesn't impact on her at all. No harassment at all.

DD is at a mixed school. This has presented no problems whatsoever. There is no bias to the boys in maths/science - the top mathematician is a girl, and there are plenty of girls at the top end in both maths and science. Her friendship group is mixed (very - not just male/female), and they are all very comfortable about that. The girls are not averse to discussing periods in front of their closer male friends!

In the long run, it's a mixed-sex world. I think we've got a lot better chance of educating boys to treat girls with respect if they are together in school. The real long-term way to improve society is not "protecting girls from boys"; it's "educating the boys so protection isn't needed".

I went to a girls only grammar. Absolutely hated it. I had no idea how to talk to boys, as I had never had any as friends. I was painfully shy around them until my early 20s.( same experience for my sister too)I vowed I would never send my child to a single sex school. My DD grew up feeling very comfortable around boys, aside from that the educational experience for her in co-Ed was much the same as mine.

I have two incredible sons and am still able to acknowledge that misogyny and sexism is rife within co-ed schools. I think it may be even worse for girls now than it was when I was young, because of social media and the availability of porn (and the expectations that arise from that). My dd goes to a girls school.

I'd say there are pros and cons to both, in my opinion girls and boys should mix together before they are legal adults! From friends that had girls in single sex schools bullying was usually quite bad.

It read the entire thread so apologies if this has already been said. There is some research somewhere that suggests girls fair better in single sex environments but boys are better co-Ed. Much will depend, of course, on individual personality but for girls it comes down to not having to confirm to stereotypes and/or be subjected to stereotyping (conscious or unconscious) by teaching staff when it comes to stem subjects. I guess it takes a particularly strong and empathetic leadership to develop a working environment that avoids that kind of toxic masculinity you find in some all-male environments.

@MistyFuckingQuigley

I suggest you watch this. Panorama episode on the rates of sexual assaults in secondary schools.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000zgwk

You are right, but there is no sense in martyring girls to in an effort to spark change. The Uk is currently being led by a man accused of sexual harassment, possible domestic abuse, and continuously cheating on his female partners. These facts are among the least remarkable of his failings. MPs are watching porn in the House of Commons! Violent porn degrading women is accessible to young children in a way it has never been before, hard to see how sending girls to a co-Ed school and putting a bit of collective pressure on the leadership of that school can really turn the tide on this quick enough for sending a 13 year old into that mess to be justifyable. I appreciate there are probably very fine co-Ed schools but it’s worth remembering what we are potentially dealing with here.

I went to a coed secondary in the 80s in the uk in the North East and honestly don't remember any sexual harassment from the boys. Yes they were annoying idiots but then so were the girls 😆 is it so much different now? According to my son it isn't. Although my daughter is starting secondary this year so I guess I'll find out.

I think a lot of posters are just assuming girls don't have the ability to stand up for themselves but I assure you they do. Of course it would be great if sexual harassment didn't exist and girls didn't have to be resilient but that's not the real world unfortunately. I also.find all girls schools a bit jolly hockey sticks but that's my own prejudice showing I'm sure they're a bit more.modern now.

Some of the most interesting posts on this thread are from the PPs from other countries, where SS schools are unheard of.

I’m posting from NZ - in favour of single-sex schools (for girls).

@kairouan SS schools in Europe are usually private so not unheard of just not in the state system.

I agree that the issue should be tackled but the panorama episode on sexual violence in our secondary schools in the UK made me shudder.

I would not be prepared to send my daughter to a mixed state school in the uk under any circumstances. Maybe for 6th form, but probably not.

I think I would have hated single sex school. The worst thing about my high school days were a few very bitchy girls, I wouldn't have wanted even more of them! Made some good male friends.

But this is a society issue, not a school issue. Some of the most interesting posts on this thread are from the PPs from other countries, where SS schools are unheard of. Why can they achieve this and we can't? As a PP said, separating boys and girls from age 11-16 for a 'break' is just not an answer to this problem - it's a sticking plaster that's only available to a small number of girls, and it's kicking the can down the road. I know lots of you disagree with me, but I think we need to say, as women, that enough is enough - that we demand equal treatment in mixed sex spaces, at all ages and stages of our lives.

I do not understand this mind set at all.

The jump-to-the-defensive, ‘but what about the boys??’ mindset.

I have a son. A lovely, kind, empathetic 13YO boy.

I don’t jump on the defensive when I read these threads, because I know it’s not my boy iand his ilk who are being discussed. If all men in the world were like my boy, it would be idyllic and we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.

But the world isn’t like that. And my DD has to navigate the many boys and men who aren’t like my son, my DH, my DF, FIL, BILs.

Mothers of boys need to recognise the issue, and not jump on the defensive.

Watch the Panorama episode on sex assaults in mixed secondary schools.

Consider the social media situation

Look at how girls are impacted by the mixed sex or "gender neutral" toilets etc at a lot of schools

Statistics show girls perform academically better in single sex schools.

Then look at your DD and decide what school is best for her.

I went to a single sex school and I have sent my DD to one. She is thriving but is also ND so picking the right school was super important. She needed small class sizes, small campus etc

It obviously depends on the individual child and the school. I have access to a great non selective girls school who are top 5 for results in the county ( similar boys school who are top 10). The best co-Ed school is 30 something in the league table ( not that league tables are everything). I also worked for quite a while in Child protection with responsibility for training around child sexual exploitation. I can only say that the cases coming out of schools are wide spread and troubling. Cases include rapes on school premises and one where other pupils have held a girl down to be raped. And I appreciate not all boys are like that but given this knowledge and the disparity between the academic performance between my two options it’s not much of a choice.