To be upset with my father?

His money his choice at the end of the day.

I think it is pretty shitty of him to be honest. Whatever his rights are, leaving what your mother would want you to have to someone else is crappy. Not surprised you were sad.

YABU
It 100% their choice whether they would want to remarry and who to leave their assets to. No one is entitled to any inheritance. It could all go to a home for cats or a food bank.

You seem to only be upset with your father because you see him as jeopardising “your” inheritance. It’s not your money.

It was actually good of your father to be honest with your mother and put his cards on the table. She now can write her will to divide her assets between your father and you children in the event she predeceases him. That way her wishes to leave you an inheritance still are honoured even if he does remarry and wills all his assets to a new wife.

If your father had lied to keep the peace, she could well have left him everything of hers completely oblivious to his true intent to remarry and make a new wife his sole heir. He did the right thing by being truthful.

YABU to be annoyed when the conversation wasn't actually any of your business. Why were they discussing it with you there anyway?
What they choose to put in their will's are down to them. It's fair enough your Mum and Dad having the conversation because now your Mum can put something in her will saying that her assets go to you or similar but your Dad is his own person and providing he's of sound mind, doesn't owe you an inheritance if it means putting off what he wants in life. May sound harsh but he has every right to remarry if he chooses to do so.

How old are they? My Parent's are only in their 40's. Hypothetically (as that's what this is) if one of them dies in the next 2/3 years the other will only be 50/51 - I wouldn't expect them to potentially go the next 40 years alone to keep me happy. There's always the option of not marrying but some people think it's important and a dealbreaker in a relationship. There's also the case of if they had been together 30+ years, why shouldn't they get part of an inheritance?

Something similar happened to me - first parent left everything to second, second cut me out of their will (but had said they wouldn’t). It was hurtful.

DH and I have arranged our wills so that this can’t happen and the kids would still have an inheritance. Basically DH can’t give “my” share of our property to someone else if I die and vice versa. A solicitor can explain. Would your parents be willing to do this?

Yes. It was hurtful. Presumably your parents have worked together to make a legacy for you and your siblings (if you have some?) Therefore in my humble opinion he should leave a legacy to his children.

IF he remarried & leaves his estate to his new wife & she has kids, she will probably leave her estate to those children who are strangers. WHY should they prosper from that?

Maybe your dad hadn’t thought this through? Was speaking without maliceaforthought? Maybe he was teasing?

Let this all quieten down & then point out to him how inconsiderate this might be.

Of course he’s entitled to spend every penny he’s got before he dies so none of us should feel entitled to anything but in your shoes, I too would be upset at the thought.

If I was your mum I'd make a trust will to protect my share of assets for my children, pronto.

My dm left her share of the house to my dad but split her half of their savings between kids/grandkids. For this reason.

I think some men just see their wives as a lacky to look after them. They don't actually see their wives as a person.

My BIL was trying to replace my sister before her funeral. He was in a new relationship within six months after her death. I don't think he ever say my sister as anything more than a replacement for his mother TBH.

Your parents both ABU, your mum for cutting off her (hypothetical) options for the sake of inheritance and your father for assuming the inheritance has to go with the marriage. They could make a trust - our wills give the surviving spouse a lifetime interest in the house but eventually it has to go to the kids.

I think you have every right to be annoyed. Obviously he would have to support this mythical new wife in some way but not with money that he and his current wife have made together. That's just not fair. If he has the pension then his mythical wife will get half of that anyway, usually.

You are right to be annoyed.. Perhaps as your dad has put his cards on the table, she could write into her will that you ultimately benefit from her half?

That should say wouldn't not would

Can't say I would be annoyed with him either to be honest!! Also seems very dismissive towards your DM. Maybe to safeguard this she could write her will accordingly - I'd be super pissed off if I thought for a second that my husband would effectively be willing to disinherit our children for the sake of some new fancy woman if I died!

Honestly, yes YABU. It's a hypothetical situation that might not even ever occur, it's a potentially difficult conversation for them to have especially in front of you as well, where his response might not have been the best thought out or expressed.