42 too old for a second baby?

Go for it!

Hahaha! Care to explain exactly what happens at the stroke of midnight when you turn 40 that makes this statement in any way logical?

I had my first at 44! DS is now 15 and I've just had my 59th birthday. All fine. I don't think we do more or less than other parents.

He certainly goes on more weekend trips and days out in the school holidays than some of his friends but doesn't do as many clubs as them and others (his personal choice though rather than our energy levels).

We've always made sure he had lots of play dates when he was younger. Firstly to build up friendships as our, then, friends tended to have older kids. And secondly because I needed mixed age parents around me!

Oddly enough, out of a group of 8 of us who regularly meet up, three are mid 50s plus now, two are between 45 and 55 and the other three are under 45 - all kids are 13-15 years old.

Only you can decide. I had my children at 37, 42 and 44. And I don't feel too old. I'm glad I had them, especially the last one that I really deliberated over.

I had my second at 42. It was fine.

I had my first at 40 and second at 42. It is exhausting and hard I the body but totally manageable. If you want another the go for it.

I had Dd at 42.

Shes 16 now. No problems with parenting her.

What l would say is this: I think in your 60’s and 60’s, you get tired much easier, and work sort of becomes more difficult. But you can’t take early retirement as you have a teen to support.

Thst has been my only issue.

I think it’s a personal thing. For me personally, it would be too old. I had my kids young and there’s no way of want another on my 40s. Also my family history of getting quite ill in your 60s puts me off. My mum recently had a stroke at 64 and she is not the only one who has become ill/died at around that age.

Her late baby was 22. Luckily she is the youngest of several and my other sister and I (both mid 30s) dealt with everything. She would have struggled if it was just her or even her and a similarly aged sibling.

but other people have different circumstances and therefore feel differently. My sister in law had my nephew at 45. He was much wanted and tried for. Apart from her being super tired there’s no other issues. Both her parents are around 80 and still fit and well, so I think she feels more confident in her long term health.

if you feel it’s right for you then go for it. If you don’t then don’t. Simple as that.

It's a personal decision I guess, but no chance I'd even consider it. I don't want to be of pensionable age, or nearing it, with children still living at home and needing supported. I'll always support them if needed, but but by 60 my kids will be in their 30s and should be financially independent.
I also wouldn't want to chance the increased risks that come with pregnancy at 40+.

My dad was 45 when I was born.
He is now 80 and fit as a fiddle and I'm 35.
Him being a older dad did not make a blind bit of difference.

I wouldn't risk it personally as I'd be terrified of ending up with twins or a disabled child. Unless you know you are absolutely desperate for another child, it's probably your ovaries making you feel guilty rather than a genuine sensible decision.

Hmmm I’m 41 and I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than have another baby. I feel old and knackered. But you crack on if you’ve got the energy!!

I can think of nothing worse! But you’re 42 not 52 so it’s not massively unusual

I had my first at nearly 38 and then twins at 41 so a singleton pregnancy at 42 doesn’t seem old to me.

I too worried about coping second/third time around but going from 0-1 was actually harder than going from 1-3.

Running around after 3 young kids definitely keeps me fit!

I just couldn't imagine having a baby into my 40s. My hair is practically white as it is with all the stress of raising the DC. Youngest will be 6yo when I turn 40. I already feel ancient!

Completely a personal decision though.

I clicked YANBU - as in, you’re not being unreasonable to have a child now. Sorry, not sure if that was the right one to click on!

I don't think it's too old. And the 'dealing with ageing parents' scare isn't always true. My mum is in her mid 70's and fit as a fiddle. Very active, completely mentally there. My mother in law is in her mid 60's, has all kinds of medical issues, mental health problems and is not well at all.

Personal choice. I had DS at 34. I wanted a second but haven't been able to conceive despite 3 rounds of IVF. I always said 40 was my personal cut off and I'll hit that this year. I'm very content now.

You mentioned that you look at your DH having to look after his 85 year old parent - well, your current DC will already have to do that for you in 40 years time.

My mum had me at 39, my dad was 48 and they did not have anymore children because they were "too old". At 30 both of my parents are dead and I had to deal with looking after both of them all by myself, and now I have no close family.

If you are worried about being too old, that ship has already sailed. 42 is not that much older than 38. The question now is do you want your only DC to have to look after you and your DH all by themselves when you are old.

I don't think it's too old. If I was wanting to have a baby at 42 I would just go for it. It sounds like it's quite important to you. Obviously you know your health condition and whether there is any chance of it returning and whether to factor that into your decision or not though.

I think you will be fine as theres not that much difference between the ages and your age at conception. What do you and your partner want?
Good luck OP

Not at all, my cousin is 42 and due her second later this year. She had her first at 17!

I had my first (& only - by choice) at 43. It's such an individual decision, no one can really advise you just share their own experience. I would not have enjoyed being a 'younger mum' ... but my own DPs were fit and healthy into their late 80s so I never had that 'sandwich' generation feeling of caring for aged DPs and young DC. I was also fortunate in that we were in a financially sound position and didn't have to juggle career aspirations and raising a DC.