Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

I am completely done now. I can't listen to my little boy crying over how his sister treats him any longer. He doesn't deserve to be upset every time she deigns to see us.
Today she has enrolled at a college she hadn't even thought about let alone visited for some kind of health course. In fact she's never visited any college at all. She went with her dad's ex, the one who has significantly contributed to the situation she's in, and his current gf. The one he shags loudly in the next room to the kids when they both know the kids are awake 🤢 She's the type to call my daughter a spastic when she's goofing around so obviously a lovely woman How she's got on a course aiming to work with vulnerable people I'll never know, especially with only 3 GCSEs. I doubt she'll last long on the course given her attitude to attendance and learning. She's also volunteering somewhere for vulnerable people and they obviously don't know her background. Again, I don't think she'll last long but it's a worry. She's thanked me for my pathetic half arsed attempt at supporting her over the years but stated how blessed she is to have her dad's ex and probably soon to be ex supporting her because they believed in her. Her godmother who is a devout christian and never says a bad word about anybody thinks she is a disgrace. I don't think anyone on my side of the family has anything good to say about her these days and that's very sad. Her dad's family aren't too fond of her either from what her grandfather says. Before her dad left she was a loving, caring, funny, intelligent girl who could be a pain in the bum like any child but was a joy to be around. I look back and wonder what the hell happened. It makes me so so that we will never get back the person she was and I will never have a good relationship with her again. Too much shit has gone on and too many hurtful things said that are unforgivable. In many years we might have some kind of relationship but I don't think I will ever trust her. The one good thing is that college don't have my details so any drama there will not be for me to deal with. This coming academic year will be calm and drama free now after years of regular phone calls, emails, meetings, trips into school, calls to the police because she's gone missing, calls to social services etc. My friend recommends blocking her number but I find it hard to do that and she only goes through her sister or grandmother to get to me anyway. Her sister has majorly fallen out with her due to something she deems unforgivable so she might not be willing to do her any favours anyway. Maybe I should just block her and be done with it. She doesn't want me in her life so what's the point. She has her dad's harem to be her mum and says they are better ones. If I didn't have two other children I think I'd be dead because of how she's made me feel. I've fought for her and her future for years only to be constantly smacked in the face. I'm done.

It's been a horrible day. What should have been a day of happiness and celebration has been one of upset, disappointment and profound sadness. On the bright side for me at least there will be no more school app pinging almost daily to say she's not in, she's truant, got detention etc, no phone calls from the sick room saying she's there and can she go home, asking permission for her to leave school for fabricated appointments, telling me she's locked herself in the toilets and they've had to remove the outer door to get to her and ensure she's safe. No checking her attendance on the app and wondering why she's not in school again. No wondering if being off sick is really her being unwell or just another lie and her dad playing along. No more alerts to lack of homework or being missing from exams or being suspended or threatened with expulsion. Where did my excited to be going to high school grinning like a Cheshire Cat in her brand new uniform full of potential and promise go? I feel like she's been stolen from me. She diagnosed me with a new mental illness last night which made a nice change although I've obviously still got the old one too. And her dad's ex (about 5 exes ago) is more of a mum to her than me. I'm old, abnormal, blah blah blah. My friend tells me to cut her out of my life but I can't. She's still my daughter and I love her. I don't have to let her come here to upset her siblings though. Her little brother was again in tears today that she'd let him down again. It's every time she comes now. I need to toughen up and say no to her coming here but she manipulates her sister into it being perfectly reasonable that she comes round. I'm always the one at fault. Always. There's no answer that I can see. Being less available will help. Saying no more and telling the other two that what I say is what goes so no letting her in or making arrangements behind my back. It's utter shit.

She's said to some people that she's failed e writhing except maths and English. She's not let me know though so who knows what she's got.

Last night I was subjected to name calling, insults and accusation of neglect and mental illnesses. She called her younger sister a cunt for asking her not to do something. She maintains that her behaviour is always respectful and I disagreed which is what led to the flouncing and verbal abuse.
I doubt she will even go and collect her exam results and even if she does I doubt she will tell me her results.

Younger Dd gets her modern foreign language GCSE result today (they do it 2 years early for reasons that escape me) and is predicted to have done very well so today will be a celebration despite Dd.

Ds is again upset that she's done a midnight flit. She keeps letting him down yet he still adores her. She's his big sister and it's really hard for him.

The good thing is that school is completely over now and I'm having nothing to do with college. College don't have my phone number so they can't contact me if there's any issues anyway. Her dad can deal with it on his own. She'll be on for a shock because college won't chase her like school did. If she doesn't turn up they won't be calling to see where she is. If she doesn't attend that's her business.

She's gone off to her dad's now because I've not fawned all over her and backed her up when she claimed she's been respectful in her behaviour. So off ages goes again. Flouncing you daddy at a hint of any parenting.

She's here and upsetting the apple cart already. Not even half an hour in! I'm
Biting my tongue as best I can until the results are out of the way. Where's the Valium...😩
Where did my baby girl go? Not in an all grown up and proud mam way but an ashamed way and I feel ashamed for feeling like that. I love her dearly but dear Lord she's put us all through Hell these past years.
This thread is such a support to me and I appreciate all the replies.
Tomorrow will be an emotive day.

I'll be glad when the results are in.

I found out yesterday that she didn't attend her police station appointment to answer her bail so that's not going to look good.

She's definitely involved in drugs and using them.

She was signed up to a programme run by a local group working with school leavers to improve their mental health, employability, social skills etc with workshops, outdoor activities, day trips, workshops etc and she didn't turn up to that either.

It feels like a waste of time trying to help her because she's not interested in anything to help herself.

Her dad remains utterly useless. There have been zero consequences for anything. She stole a family heirloom from his house and tried to pawn it earlier this month and there's been nothing done about that either.

I'm pissing in the wind.

GCSE results on Thursday and I'm dreading it. She's asked me to go with her to get them. I think some she will have done ok or possibly well in but some not at all. History she missed a third of the marks because she missed the 1 out of the 3 exams. She was late for another subject and missed half that exam. She still has a place at college regardless of her grades but it depends on what she gets as to what she can do. I'm not sure how I'll react if she dies as badly as predicted or more importantly how she will react. My reaction will be up for scrutiny for the rest of her life no doubt so I need to be careful. I have a face that talks for me without me being aware though so it's going to be difficult to get it right and not upset her if it's bad news.
She's already said that starting college will ramp up her anxiety so I'm expecting lots of absences past the first couple of days. She didn't go to the taster day they ran.
I've no idea where the police investigation is up to. She's working with the youth offender team but I'm not sure if it's doing any good.

@riesenrad theft from a vehicle. Multiple items to sell on but keep some too. I don't think she's even sorry. She's certainly not bothered about it.

Thank you for your post @Soopermum1 I'm sorry you are in a similar horrible situation.

Dd won't see me unless it's for a favour so I could r do anything with her on her own. I'd love to but she'd either not turn up or would spoil it somehow.

Her dad would call me psychotic and she's settled on bipolar as her insult of choice. She doesn't even know what bipolar is. She thinks it's equal to me being nice but then refusing to take her shit if she's being nasty to me. Having boundaries equals bipolar.

It's really affecting my mood and I'm normally pretty upbeat even when things are tough. I can always find something to laugh about or see the lighter side or dark honour but at the moment I just can't.

I'm relieved that there'll be no more calls from school about her. I doubt she will put me down on her college details so I'll not be contacted about any drama there either.

Would she be able to get a job with her behaviour record and being on bail?