Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

I think ultimately she wishes her dad and I were not divorced. She creates negative situations instead of saying what she feels or needs and creates a big drama unnecessarily. She needs to learn to communicate.

So far, not good. Plan changing and lying to us and about us to each other. Not going to college. Since they reduced her to one day a week in November she's only gone twice. She's upset ds today. She's upset me. She's upset her grandmother. I feeling like returning her Christmas gifts and telling her to go somewhere else. I've gone to so much trouble this Christmas for them all and I'm wondering why I've bothered. I think I'll just get through it as best I can and she'll be at her dads and new gfs next year anyway.

@Week54 she left school in June and as expected failed most of her exams. She's now at a college but has been expelled in all but name due to her poor attendance and conduct. She's allowed in one day a week and has to be supervised by a tutor the whole time. That's so are can catch up on what she's missed and come out with a lesser qualification. Her course finishes in about 3 weeks and then she's at a very loose end. She says she wants to do an apprenticeship but has no idea in what.

@Porcupineintherough I know, I feel really torn about it. This thread is my outlet for the frustration I feel. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I think it will be a case of if she turns up then she turns up and if she doesn't then she doesn't and we all need to just accept that. I find that hard though the not knowing

She's missed her sister's birthday and her careers appointment this week claiming to be ill but she's been socialising as normal so I don't believe it for one second. She let her grandmother down this week by not going to see her when she said she would as well as not turning up for the birthday event. It's just constant failure to turn up. She's got one day a we at college and isn't managing that. No bus fare or ill are her reasons.
Christmas is in just over a week and I don't see how I can say she can come here because she's likely to not turn up at all and everyone will be disappointed. If I say no I'll be the bad guy for not letting her come.

Despite everything she seems more settled in her attitude towards me. She's gained some insight into her own behaviour whilst she was living with me. In the past she's done this in much smaller amounts but she seems consistent the last couple of months in what she says to me and about me. If are gets annoyed with me she doesn't block me or tell me to fuck off. It's progress at least.
It will be Interesting to see what the careers advisor advises. I draw a complete blank when I think of what she would be suited to and that would suit her. Everything relies on attendance, punctuality and honesty so she's going to struggle.
Nothing from ss yet.

She's been expelled from college in all but name and is only allowed there to spend 1-1 time with a tutor to catch up and get a lesser qualification than she was originally studying for.

Social services are allocating someone. What good they will do I've no idea but I've got to try anything and everything. Ds is getting help at school now and currently doesn't want her here at Christmas. Dd says she still wants to be here for Christmas but it's not all about her. Her dad is moving in with his gf so that will now be her home. Her dad and gf keep splitting up and arguing and he's flirting with other women at work (witnessed by dd2 who happened to be there for something) and it all sounds crazy and unstable.

The police told me last night that I need to tell the officers that will attend today that we need family help and essentially beg for more help. They were called again last night because she ran away from her dad's then ran off from here after I said if she doesn't obey the house rules (that I'd told her earlier in the day) then she can't stay here. She chose to leave after midnight once she'd disrupted my evening and her sisters. Luckily ds slept through it all. She became nasty to me when I wouldn't back down on the rules. She says she was negotiating with me and trying to have a conversation but she was dictating to me what she would do and going on about how I'm inflexible and weird. I said she needed to go back to her dad's and she refused. So off she went but I didn't know where she was going apart from into the main town on the last bus. Totally unsafe to do so. Her dad wasn't answering his phone until I told him the police would be contacting him. He's ignored all communications about college and other issues.

I can't do this. I really can't cope with the constant drama. I've been so caught up with Dd that I've not even got the advent calendar out let alone filled it. First time in 16 years that's happened. This is all affecting my ability to be a great mum to my other children.

I'm so tired this morning and have an important meeting about ds with the sendco. I hate this constant disruption to our lives. She just turns up at the door after running off from her dad's. Just like she used to run from here when I told her no. From mow on she just can't come here. She says she's changed but she's just the same.

College are not kicking her off the course but have downgraded her to a lesser qualification and she won't continue beyond the new year. Her attendance, conduct, and coursework are problematic and she's now without anything to do next year. She's flip flopping from one idea to the other with no real rationale and seems to be grasping at straws as to what she can do. Feckless father didn't even turn up to the meeting which was no surprise because he rarely does. He's gone ballistic at her but has offered no support or suggestions. There's talk of alternative courses or an apprenticeship but no idea what.
I'm disappointed and frustrated but not surprised that this has happened. She's not learnt from her experiences at school and is rejecting the same behaviours. Her dad either placates her or goes mad at her but never supports her. She thinks she can just start another course part way through the academic year and thinks they will make exceptions for her.
Round and round we go. GP, CAMHS, police, social services, pastoral, tutors, Nothing ever changes because she won't engage and her dad won't engage.
It's so fucking frustrating and I feel so powerless to help her.

College are making some decisions this week regarding her future on the course. The shit is really going to hit the fan. The question is will she gravitate towards her dad or me afterwards. I don't think he knows the full extent of the issues with college. He's all talk and no trousers though and he won't actually do anything to help Dd. He will yell and threaten all sorts of sanctions but won't follow through on any of it past the 24 hour mark even if he does do something to start with.
I really don't know how to help her anymore because she's not receptive to anything if it requires any effort on her part.

She certainly is. It's backfired a bit because lots of her everyday stuff is here now but she's out with friends as her priority so she can wait for it until it's convenient for me for her to get it. She'll be back living with her dad fully by Wednesday. It always goes the same way. I was expecting ss to phone today but they haven't.

She's accused her dad of being abusive but is more than happy to have him give her lifts and to have dinner with him tonight and stay over. She's hung up on me today after I called her out on her lies and wouldn't say yes to something. She thinks she can come and go at all hours without any consideration for the rest of the house and I've put my foot down after 5 days of chaos before ds gets upset with it all. He's not been witness to most of it and I'm stopping it now before he does witness it.