Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

She's emailed some schools and says they are considering giving her a place. I don't think it works like that though.

No it absolutely doesn't.

As for the person she was bullying and physically attacking 'deserved it'. She needs to learn that it isn't ok. The way she is going she is going to end up with the police knocking on the door.

It definitely doesn’t.

She's emailed some schools and says they are considering giving her a place. I don't think it works like that though
It doesn't

The poster has a point @Alwaystoblame . Hard as it is, you need to stand back and let them get on with it. DD will see how useless her father is when he doesn't bother turning up to the meeting. And she told you to fuck off remember?

OP. I hope your DD gets sorted. But if you are taking a step back, why are you going to the final meeting at the school? Surely that's up to your XH and your DD? He needs to book time off.

@Alwaystoblame I'm sorry, this is very hard.

You can't fix this, she is going to need professionals and willingness and self determination. Your daughter will need a soft place to fall, I suggest you focus on being that.

You sound like the epitome of unconditional love, and because she's got that then I expect she'll come round. She's lucky to have you.

Agreed. its the only thing you really can do at this point.

Anything else right now will be pissing into the wind. Itll all come back on you unpleasantly.
Shes made her bed now. The more attention you give her and the issue right now, the more she will fight against it, even if thats cutting off her nose to spite her face.
You need to stop giving her and your ex such power over you that they will both actually fuck up her education just to hurt you. They havent even worked out that its not you that needs her to get an education, its for her.

Obviously shes still a child, so its not entirely her fault, but honestly, as painful as it is, I dont think you can do anything else now except let her experience the consequences of her choices. Just try and stay calm about her future because she will still be able to get a job etc, and if your ex is going to have her at his, then he needs to take proper responsibility. Its not just a place for her to sleep and eat. He is soon going to realise that she needs parenting too

I think we can safely assume that all decent schools will be oversubscribed and operating at full capacity in Year 10.

@OnceuponaRainbow18 no not if the schools are full.

.....but it's definitely worth OP looking at the actual guidance rather than reading loads of advice on the internet which, however well-meaning, is incorrect.

@Curioushorse

Not if all local schools are full for year 10? Or if they want to do a managed transfer with another kid… which never works out

Take a step back. You're not washing your hands of her, neither can you sort this for her. Let her feel the consequences of her actions. If she is upset by these then you can offer comfort and support without implying they were undeserved.

OP most of the advice on this thread is complete rubbish. Basically, leave it to the borough at this point. The guidance is really clear and is on the government website for you to read. She is entitled to an education and mainstream schools will have to take her. They're not allowed to refuse her for poor attendance or behaviour (unless she's been permanently excluded twice). They do have to listen to you, but aren't obliged to take on board your views- for really good reasons. I can't stress this enough. They know the mix of other permanently excluded children, but can't tell you. They will try to put her in the most appropriate school, factoring in their other difficult students. You won't be a party to this information. They will have her best interests at heart, and I've seen some really positive moves which have been genuinely beneficial following a permanent exclusion. They will not want to risk the enormous hassle and cost of it happening a second time.

The borough will sort it. They have to.

Don't rule out a PRU. They are usually really positive. Again, I've only ever seen students benefitting- but they're really expensive so they'll probably try mainstream first.

Private schools are businesses, with paying customers. The OP's daughter is unlikely to be offered a place, as soon as the school get to know about her previous behaviour. They won't want to risk parents removing their own children.

Speaking as a teacher, permanent exclusion really is the very last of last resorts. The school will have tried everything in their arsenal before getting to this point. And it'll be for a LOT more reasons than just poor attendance.

At this point in her education, the likelihood of her getting a place in a mainstream school is, I'd say, pretty close to zero. The local schools AND the LA, will be of the view that if she hasn't learnt to manage herself in mainstream by the age of 15, then she's not going to suddenly learn it now.

All she'll be offered is a PRU at this point. I haven't read your previous threads OP, so I don't know the backstory, but your LA will just shrug and say "you reap what you sow and had your chances" when it comes to a 15 year old.
Your DD and your DH are in for a rude awakening I'm afraid.

Sorry, but she really isn't as bright as you claim.

I think you've done everything you can OP and tried your hardest in a very difficult situation.

At this point I think you can to step back and let your daughter and ex sort out the situation they have both created. How else is your daughter going to truly understand that her actions have consequences. She's ignored that for too long so now properly experiencing that is frankly the only hope of her pulling herself together.

I know it's going to be painful for you to watch but I don't think you continuing to try and put it right is going to help. You aren't going to get her into a good school again and if you try they'll just direct their stupid blame at you for you not being able to achieve an impossible solution. They need to go through this process themselves.

Tell them you've tried to help and advise but it's clear they don't want your help so you will be taking a step back and leaving future education arrangements to your ex and daughter.

You can be there in the future if your daughter pulls herself together but not until she's willing to behave and try to do her best. GCSEs can be taken again in the future if needed. It's more complicated and expensive but this isn't a one off chance. She can still have a decent future but the phrase "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink " applies here and there's no need for you to continue to go through the anguish of trying.

Well I think a brush with the authorities will be her next experience and the wake up call she needs. If she doesn't plsort herself, she might end up in a correctional centre/juvenile detention. It sounds like she doesn't understand that she's in the last chance saloon.

Well I guess she'll be hearing "No," a bit more in the next few weeks when the schools she chooses refuse to take her on account of her appalling record.

So what precipitated her moving in with her Dad?