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Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

635 replies

Alwaystoblame · 27/05/2022 14:10

Posting for traffic.
How do I go about finding my Dd a new school if she's been permanently excluded? How likely are good schools to take her on in year 10 with an appalling attendance and behaviour record? She's very bright and doing very well academically when are bothers to go to class and do the homework. Attendance in in the 60s for this year. Even when she dies go in she is late and/or truants classes.
I have 2 previous threads about the issues she's having but I wanted to ask specifically about new schools without getting detailed.

OP posts:
Spanglemum · 13/06/2022 15:41

I would stay out of it. You can tell her that current school decided she was working in isolation, was nothing to do with you but she might not believe you.

Scoobydoobydoo · 13/06/2022 15:02

Sorry to hear OP.
The only way from rock bottom is up.
I sincerely hope your DD hits rock bottom soon.

Alwaystoblame · 13/06/2022 14:38

There are meetings at school and LA level this week with hopes that Dd starts at the new school asap. In the meantime the HT has said she is not to mix with the school community and is to be in isolation until she starts at the new school. Dd decided she'd stay off last week and turned up today to be told to go to the head of year to get her work to do in the isolation classroom. She kicked off and went home. Her dad has kicked off too saying school aren't being fair and disagreeing with what they have put in place until she goes to the new school. It's easy to see that the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree there. She's been given a chance by the HT at the new school. One that many don't think she deserves and she's still not behaving. She claims I've made school isolate her 🙄.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 10/06/2022 10:44

It does annoy me when MNers (and sanctimonious parents generally) think that any "naughty" child has been badly brought up
To be fair, and it's not op's fault, but this child seems to have been totally enabled by her father. So to quite a large extent she is a product of her environment.

riesenrad · 10/06/2022 10:11

School does sound useless but at the same time, you're her parent, OP. You and her father have to take some of the responsibility for how she turned out, surely

Oooh we can have the nature nurture argument! I suppose it couldn't be that she has taken after her father who sounds like a bit of an entitled twit? Anyway, teenagers haven't "turned out" - they've got quite a lot of growing up still to do.

It does annoy me when MNers (and sanctimonious parents generally) think that any "naughty" child has been badly brought up (no doubt so that they can preen themselves about how well they have brought their own children - no, you are just lucky if they never give you any trouble).

I hope that the new school DOES work out for her. Even if it has had a bad Ofsted report, that is just box ticking and doesn't mean the school is all rubbish.

Spanglemum · 10/06/2022 09:58

I would say to her well done for finding the new school. She did show a bit of initiative there to be honest.
Basically it's down to her now. If she doesn't attend or bullies people she will get permanently excluded again. You don't necessarily have to point that out to her but be positive.
In my experience the problem is probably that the PRUs are over subscribed. The pandemic has led to a massive increase in mental health and behavioural problems for teenagers. The 'system' was straining before that so there are not the specialist placements available.

It's down to her now. She either uses those opportunity or she doesn't and faces the consequences.

knockyknees · 10/06/2022 01:55

rainbowmilk · 09/06/2022 15:01

I feel sorriest for the kids she's bullied, having it hanging over their necks that she might come back. It doesn't surprise me that the school has wimped out, unfortunately. Not much has changed since I went to school! The problem is that being given infinite chances when they are clearly not warranted is fuelling the fire that she's special and consequences don't apply. Really not great for her, long term.

Exactly.

Marotte · 09/06/2022 22:50

I haven't RTFT or your other posts, but another option might be an EBD school if your area has one? Is homeschooling not an option? She might be able to get a good handful of GCSEs enough to start college in what she is interested in if the situation is both suitable for home education and she is keen to be taught at home? Then a fresh start for 6th form? I do understand this might not be suitable or appropriate.

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 18:41

@rainbowmilk maybe read my threads about Dd before commenting.

OP posts:
rainbowmilk · 09/06/2022 18:37

School does sound useless but at the same time, you're her parent, OP. You and her father have to take some of the responsibility for how she turned out, surely? I'm not saying all of this is your fault, clearly, but you do talk about her as if she arrived on your doorstep fully formed like this, and you're helpless and baffled by it. I'd be angry at the school as well but in all fairness, it's not all on the school to prevent her from having victims living in fear. At some point, it was the job of her parents to raise her so that she learned not to violently attack younger children and then say they deserve it.

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 18:21

I'm blaming the school for being so soft on her and for not communicating with me as I haven't had a proper update from them despite them promising to ring. The HT was going to call me on Monday but didn't. Then someone else was ringing yesterday, then today, but nothing. It's shit. And I'm angry on her victims' behalf that she'll be back in school with them living in fear again. They should be breathing a sigh of relief not worrying. The arrogance and entitlement radiating from dds calls and texts is shocking.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 18:17

Stop blaming the school, when she hasn't even bothered to get her arse in there Hmm

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 18:15

Dd is currently allowed at her existing school until the transfer. I can't believe what I'm hearing. How can they let her attend when she was suspended with a view to expelling her? Not that she's bothered to go in this week and has been marked as unauthorised absence. School leadership has gone massively downhill imo.

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MidwichCuckoo · 09/06/2022 16:23

I think schools are penalised by ofsted for exclusions so might not be the school's fault.

rainbowmilk · 09/06/2022 15:01

I feel sorriest for the kids she's bullied, having it hanging over their necks that she might come back. It doesn't surprise me that the school has wimped out, unfortunately. Not much has changed since I went to school! The problem is that being given infinite chances when they are clearly not warranted is fuelling the fire that she's special and consequences don't apply. Really not great for her, long term.

Legofigure · 09/06/2022 14:36

Normally if a managed move fails the pupil returns to the home school, although if the behaviour hasn’t changed (and the MM failing would suggests it hadn’t) they are then likely to be permanently excluded.

Ellie56 · 09/06/2022 14:27

MidwichCuckoo · 09/06/2022 14:09

Does a managed move mean she'll go back to the old school if the managed move doesn't work out?

I was wondering that too.

MidwichCuckoo · 09/06/2022 14:09

Does a managed move mean she'll go back to the old school if the managed move doesn't work out?

OhmygodDont · 09/06/2022 14:08

Shipping her off to the sink school so it’s not on there record. Then the sink school can expel her if she acts up as they have nothing to lose. Harsh as that sounds.

Legofigure · 09/06/2022 14:03

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 13:43

That's my understanding but I'm amazed that she hasn't been expelled and amazed that another school will take her.

Managed moves are often used as a way to prevent permanent exclusions.

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 13:47

At the moment she is feeling proud as punch that emailing the school has got her a place in one of the top schools
I don't think a managed move will be orchestrated on her say so alone, somehow.
Sorry if this sounds rude, but she really doesn't come across as remotely bright?
Unfortunately.

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 13:43

That's my understanding but I'm amazed that she hasn't been expelled and amazed that another school will take her.

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 09/06/2022 13:28

So a managed move rather than being excluded?

Alwaystoblame · 09/06/2022 13:10

At the moment she is feeling proud as punch that emailing the school has got her a place in one of the top schools Hmm She hasn't even been to see the school. Current school have said she doesn't meet the criteria for a PRU but I'd have thought she would. They just don't want an expulsion on their record I think. I don't think this move is right for her because she won't get the intensive support she needs but it's not my choice and it's Dd that needs to make this work now.

OP posts:
angstridden2 · 09/06/2022 12:04

If it’s a rough old school she’ll meet girls who are way tougher than her...... she may gain a bit of empathy for those she has bullied and be too afraid to do it herself.Might work out for her.,.

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