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Original poster

Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

635 replies

Alwaystoblame · 27/05/2022 14:10

Posting for traffic.
How do I go about finding my Dd a new school if she's been permanently excluded? How likely are good schools to take her on in year 10 with an appalling attendance and behaviour record? She's very bright and doing very well academically when are bothers to go to class and do the homework. Attendance in in the 60s for this year. Even when she dies go in she is late and/or truants classes.
I have 2 previous threads about the issues she's having but I wanted to ask specifically about new schools without getting detailed.

OP posts:
Latenightreader · 01/07/2022 09:20

Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and hope that things will improve. My friend's younger brother was a nightmare in his teens - violent, abusive and angry to the extent she was scared to go home. He dropped out of school aged about 14 despite his mother trying everything possible. He is now a lovely gentle man in his 30s - things fell into place for him when he was about 18 and he managed to turn things around. I met him for the first time a couple of years ago and would never have imagined his past. I really hope that your daughter has a similar revelation and a happy future.

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 24/06/2022 09:55

I have emailed school and given my contact details and passed on medical information for Dd as she has a chronic condition that her dad says she hasn't got and subsequently she doesn't take the medication she needs because she agrees with her dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 24/06/2022 08:13

No one has ever mentioned an option of college. I think she needs string structure and college would be too much independence at this point. Boarding school would be fantastic!

OP posts:
riesenrad · 23/06/2022 14:34

Should things deteriorate again and you end up involved, ask the schools about their 14-16 'Fresh Start' programme at local colleges, which can also be used as an alternative provision

This sounds like it would be a better option full stop. She would be in a very different environment to school.

Actually it sounds like the best option here would a state boarding school so she was away from her useless sperm donor.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 23/06/2022 14:09

Well, that's silly, you are her mum. I bet you've got some scars or stretch marks to prove it.

Just keep telling her you love her and she'll come round. We lash out at the ones who love us, especially when we are young and angry.

Hang in there.

Lightuptheroom · 23/06/2022 14:02

Don't panic. She can be 'known as' whatever she wants but would be registered as the name on her birth certificate. As you have parental responsibility you can email the school and ask to be kept up to date with reports etc, it would also give the new school your contact information.

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 23/06/2022 13:15

She starts on Monday at the new school and will have a review mid-September. She has sent me some horrible messages today basically saying that I'm not her mum and I'm not down as a contact at the new school and she's changing her name so she's not got my last name. She's a delight.

OP posts:
ShinyS1 · 22/06/2022 16:52

Hi Op, my child was p excluded, so I know what a disaster it is, you have my full sympathies.

On another note, I'm truly astonished at the positivity for PRU's. My child went to one for 2 months until a place could be found for him at another school. The students (using the term lightly) were 100x worse than my child, and wasted no time trying to involve him in their very illegal activities outside of the PRU (and inside at times), we're talking drugs, gangs and knife crime. The staff were basically managing behaviour (badly). He still speaks to some of them and they're dangerous. With hindsight, for us, no education would have been preferable.

It seems PRU's vary, depending on where you live

Lightuptheroom · 22/06/2022 11:16

I work within a fair access team. Managed moves are a school - school agreement, it will not have been set up on the basis of your DD emailing the school. It also sounds like current school have 'recinded' the previous permanent exclusion and are seeking an alternative to exclusion with this managed move. Managed moves typically last 6-10 weeks. Your DD will be given 'outcomes' that she will be expected to meet (attendance, behaviour etc) and will be given support at the new school. Should the managed move 'fail' for example because your DD continues with the previous poor behaviour, then she will be expected to return to the previous school, who would possibly at that point seek a referral to alternative provision. Managed moves are reviewed regularly, a lot of paperwork is involved and the child only goes on roll at the new school once the managed move is deemed successful.

I hope that helps you understand the process. Can I ask if she has been permanently excluded from any other school as after 2 permanent exclusions the local authority can discharge their duty to find another school, which is possibly why current school are trying to avoid a permanent exclusion on her record and are seeking alternatives.

Should things deteriorate again and you end up involved, ask the schools about their 14-16 'Fresh Start' programme at local colleges, which can also be used as an alternative provision.

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 22/06/2022 10:13

No news yet, I'm waiting to hear from the HT.

OP posts:
Lunificent · 21/06/2022 18:13

Do you know how the admissions meeting went?

MummyingAway · 21/06/2022 08:37

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 21/06/2022 00:31

That's a bit dismissive, @Johnnysgirl

If we all let our kids get on with it we'd not be giving that much of a shit, would we?

I'm making an assumption, but, given that OP's name is "always to blame" then, yanno - have a heart?

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria
Well said!

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 21/06/2022 00:31

That's a bit dismissive, @Johnnysgirl

If we all let our kids get on with it we'd not be giving that much of a shit, would we?

I'm making an assumption, but, given that OP's name is "always to blame" then, yanno - have a heart?

Johnnysgirl · 20/06/2022 22:15

Just let her get on with it Confused

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 20/06/2022 17:47

She has an admission meeting tomorrow afternoon at the new school. She will be all sweetness and light. She is very much the actress who manipulates her audience into believing whatever persona she presents to them.

OP posts:
StEthelburgaRose · 20/06/2022 14:35

Probably best if she stays off the old school and isolation now and starts afresh at the new school.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 20/06/2022 14:25

Wise to not go to the meeting.

You concentrate on looking after yourself so that when she needs you you can scoop her up. It's not easy to step back and watch the fall. I'm sorry, it must be very hard for you. Take care of yourself.

Lindy2 · 20/06/2022 14:25

I wouldn't go to anymore meetings at her old school. When is she able to start at the new one?

Put your energies into getting that place sorted and her enrolled asap.

It should be down to her and her Dad now but I can fully understand why you stay involved knowing how useless your ex is.

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 20/06/2022 14:20

The saga continues. She was put in internal exclusion on Friday and today but instead of attending she has walked out of school today so is excluded again. She can't cope with isolation she says. Her dad just shrugs and says he can't do anything. There's yet another meeting now before she can go back into school and then she will sit her internal exclusion. I'm not going to the meeting. I've had enough of meetings that always have the same source and the same outcome followed by a repeat performance a few weeks later. There is an admission meeting at her new school this week but I'm worried now that they will withdraw the place they offered because of her continued bad behaviour.

OP posts:
Scoobydoobydoo · 15/06/2022 17:42

Aww OP.
You may not like your DD at the moment but you will always love her

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 15/06/2022 11:57

There was a meeting first thing today with the managed transfer coordinator and he was very nice and kind to Dd who is actually in school today!!!! Her dad was a no-show. Everyone in the meeting had concerns but equally everyone was very positive and encouraging of Dd and it is hoped she will make this transfer work. It's really hit her today that she has messed up. I feel sorry for her because her dad has enabled and to some extent encouraged her behaviour. He's let her down terribly. She is very lost and I'm worried about her. That doesn't negate the horrendous things she has done. She'll be more lost at the new school and it's a terrible time to start at the end of year 10 but I'm hoping she will make the right choices now and get on with things. It's like she has two completely different sides to her and I'm hoping the Dd she can be is the one who will be victorious. Despite everything I still wish she was home with me but she can't live here and go to the school she's going to as it's too far. I just feel very sad today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 15/06/2022 10:22

A very good question

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 14/06/2022 10:20

If she lives with her useless father and her attendance is so poor why isn't he being fined for her non-attendance?

Original poster
Alwaystoblame · 14/06/2022 09:27

Despite them both kicking off yesterday school have said that she's to be in isolation so she's decided not to attend. She's not done any of the work set for her online nor has she done any of her homework for weeks now. I've not watched that documentary, only heard about it, about the strictest school but somewhere like that would be a big wake up call for her.

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 13/06/2022 15:55

She claims I've made school isolate her.

Just tell her not to be so silly. The HT is in charge of the school, not you.