Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

Just thought I’d update to say despite Carcass’s projection that dd2 would turn out like dd1 and do terribly at school if left in my care, she has achieved mainly grades 7-9 in her GCSEs this year and has enrolled at an outstanding college to do her A levels. Both girls are naturally bright with high IQs according to the clinical psychologist who saw them but such different outcomes despite the same upbringing to age 14 for dd1.
Sadly, things arent much better for dd1 and she is homeless (staying with a friend) because her dad and his gf kicked her out a few weeks ago. She’s not interested in getting help for the weed use and remains very, very lost. I’m doing what I can to help her but she’s an adult and there’s not a lot I can do except love and support her and offer guidance. I regularly talk to her about getting help. She’s still not had her ASD and ADHD assessments and seems to have fallen through the cracks there. I keep hoping and praying she’ll see sense. We get on much better but we don’t see each other because I won’t see her if she’s stoned. I don’t want drug use around my other dc. So far she’s chosen cannabis over spending time with us, including a summer holiday, and has missed out on great family times. She knows she’s welcome to come with us but the weed is her priority.

She’s now 18 and decided to celebrate her birthday but reporting me to social services saying I’d physically and emotionally abused her and she was worried about her siblings. What she’d done was take experiences from my childhood and claim they had happened to her with me as the perpetrator. social services were quite happy having spoken to me but are contacting school and the GP anyway. It was a social worker we’d had before who was dreadful.
All my side of the family made a big effort to choose and get presents to her on her actual birthday and she didn’t bother with them for a few days, didn’t acknowledge receiving them and didn’t say thank you to anyone so her siblings were pretty upset. I’ve recently discovered she has changed her last name to omit my family name which is hurtful.
She’s again been referred for autism and adhd assessments but she has been referred for a year now but the practitioner hasn’t done it right or something. The practitioner is useless at best. We are expected to believe that she has given up the drugs but to go from a severe addiction using several times a day to nothing at all seems unlikely. She’s waiting for driving lessons and that scares me.
She seems less chaotic in general but still so worrying in her behaviour. She’s an adult now though and there’s not a lot I can do about anything apart from keep good boundaries.

@LittleMousewithcloggson I can't believe it's been so long since I started the thread! In many ways things are still the same and it's a jump from one drama to the next.

It's as though I don't really exist in her life. Her plans never involve me and step mum has very much replaced me in her life. I'm just her biological mum she says. I try to make plans to see her but she's never free when I am. She's let her grandmother down 4 days in a row this last week.

Nobody from this side of the family will see her on her birthday except for her sister. She'll see all her new family and the family that was in between us and her new one. It hurts but there's little I can do. I've offered to meet her regularly in the nearest neutral place on our own to try and rebuild our relationship and she's all for it but then says she's busy.

Everything we do as a family I feel that empty space where she should be. It never feels right to do anything without her.

Her dad has as I expected changed his mind and she's now allowed to remain with him and his gf. She is saying she's stopped smoking cannabis and is starting driving lessons. Younger Dd says she's not stopped at all but has cut down. She definitely shouldn't be behind the wheel of a vehicle.
We recently went on holiday and she was not allowed to come with us. She's not made any changes to her behaviour and very quickly resorts to being nasty when she is challenged. This happened by text on holiday although I wasn't challenging her, she was challenging me, and I was so glad that she hadn't come with us. It's sad that she missed out but she only has herself to blame. Once she's 18 I feel like totally giving up but feel sadness and guilt that I feel like that.

Goodness, I've just looked back and noted how long ago I started this thread. It will be 3 years in May. Things have just got worse for Dd.
Instead of helping her find accommodation and sort her future out her dad is going on holiday with his gf 🤬

Thank you. I'm dreading her being 18 because I feel she will be so very vulnerable and I won't be able to do much to help her. Her dad doesn't seem to care. He's blocked me on every platform and I can't speak to him about her. Social services basically shrugged and said not our problem.

Things are not great. She's now addicted to weed and was smoking it pure several times a day. Her dad threw her out but she's back there now although she has to move out soon. Her college attendance is under 60% and she's hanging out with others who are using drugs. She's 18 very soon and instead of letting me help her she's amped up her nastiness and says how abusive I am. Her youngest sibling doesn't want anything to do with her and I'm respecting that.
Her dad never signed the referral forms despite many reminders from professionals so they gave only just been sent off.
I'm feeling really down this week about it because time seems to be running out for me to help her. Once she's 18 I don't have any right to contact professionals to get her help. She's extremely angry and says I don't have PR for her when I do. She has a drug addiction worker but I'm not convinced she actually wants to stop smoking weed.
Things just go from bad to worse.
I just need to vent today. I'm so tired of this. 12 years of this shit now in one form or another.

Dd is now at college doing a different course and is enjoying it. She seems to have turned a corner. She attended court twice over the shoplifting and despite being told she'd have a police caution it was downgraded to another community resolution. I worry that this is pointless seeing as it failed to have an effect last time. She has a part time job although I worry about her stealing from the people she's working for. She can't be trusted sadly.
Her dad continues to be a complete idiot and the social worker never did anything at all except call meetings, get everyone mixed up, fail to invite me and never give me the minutes. I don't know how they keep their jobs with such incompetence.
It's early days with college. Her dad and his handmaidens are all over how fantastic it is that she's engaging but it's only been two weeks and it's too early to tell.
She has finally been referred for ASD and ADHD assessments after me saying for years that she needed this and her dad saying I was making it up and accusing me of munchausens by proxy while also saying it was due to the way I brought her up.
So that's where things are for now.

Dd is very much responsible for her actions. The sw is useless because she believes everything exH says and doesn't use her brain to question anything. There is no plan in place for how anything will be achieved. We need xyz but no mention of how to achieve that or what she is going to do. All she does is say she'll have a chat with dad then she swallows all his lies and nothing improves.

Yes, she's still living with her dad and they are now living with his latest gf. ExH says he took on a damaged daughter and how parenting teens isn't easy. He's not looked at why she's damaged beyond it being my fault. He gf walked out and took the kids in the middle of the night two days ago but they are back together. She's not coping with exH or dd.
Dd wasn't bothered about being in court at all. A little nervous but mainly chatted away happily about her antics.
My other two dc are ok thank you despite the regular problems during contact for dd2. Ds is better than he was and rarely sees Dd and is protected from her.
Mental health services are involved with Dd but whether or not she will engage beyond the first assessment is the big question. She's not done in the past. She's still stealing and hasn't learnt anything at all from her arrests or court appearance. Her relationship with me is better although she still sees me as the reason for her issues.