High earners - how do you spend your salary?

Religious boys state school. Yes there was permanent exclusion and police involvement, but apparently this was the culmination of issues that had simmered for quite a while. Didn't happen to DH but he had bullying as well. Perhaps better in a mixed sex state school with girls to balance things.

@juleswatford good for you. If only more businesses had that ethos.

@JenniferPlantain yes that was one of the best ever MNet comments I have ever seen and I have been here for a long time.

DH still worries about what people think; if he's done something wrong or made a faux pas. I have never worried in the slightest.

Yes there can be bullying. But it is not on the same physical and abusive level, that wouldn't stand. My DH went to state schools the whole way through and remembers the odd person being beaten to a pulp and hospitalised at secondary level.

Christ, which schools did he go to?! Physical abuse and being "beaten to a pulp" would result in permanent exclusion and police involvement at my DD's public secondary school. No ifs, no buts - that shit would not be tolerated. I'm not sure which schools your DH went to where this was tolerated, sounds horrific!

Mortgage
Bills
Pensions
Childcare
Hols
Stuff for the house
Savings

In roughly that order.

@Topgub Never mind public perceptions of the Tories. Have you been to a private school yourself, or had your children, family, friends and their children go?

Yes there can be bullying. But it is not on the same physical and abusive level, that wouldn't stand. My DH went to state schools the whole way through and remembers the odd person being beaten to a pulp and hospitalised at secondary level.

When I moved to grammar and there were kids from state primary there some were lovely but some I was absolutely appalled and had never seen anything like the behaviour, even in terms of consideration for other people and saying please and thank you.

Thank you for making me actually LOL

Another vote for private school. Both DC started off at outstanding state schools and the private schools are completely different once they joined. They are now both thriving.
it does make you feel like you live in a distorted world though, dropping off DCs at other parents’ multimillion-pound houses with a pool in London 😂 (and our house is multimillion with a small mortgage)
other than school fees, various services, cleaner gardener babysitters etc kids music lessons, our own hobbies, personal trainers, gyms, nice holidays, going out, parties, shows musicals etc
we don’t deliberately save as we are expected to cash out 8 figure equities in the future but we do spend sensibly.
once you have kids, time is really the biggest luxury. Anything that will save time or raise the quality of time spent is worth spending. I’m not into luxury goods as much but indulge in Invisalign and some non injectable beauty treatments ultherapy, Fontana 4d type stuff… too many women go overboard with injectables so gotta be careful…

@Citygirly the other thing about private schools, and ours went to London Day Schools is the subject specialisation early on and introduction of languages. From age 7/8 French, Maths Science, English, Ancient History/early Latin, Geography and History were all taught by subject specialists. Both children have very sound friendship groups which are carrying through with them.

DS is finishing a PhD, DD shortly due to start a Masters in Speech and Language therapy. Both went to Oxbridge. DS very sporty and DD very musical and both those interests were well catered for.

If both DC work for 35 years and earn £20k more per year than they otherwise would have (entirely feasible) the differential should be £700,000 between them. Jointly their educations have cost us about £350,000. But well worth it in every way apart from that.

DH went to the local comp and became a lawyer (barrister). He was insistent the children should learn Latin because he felt it was something he missed out on. He was about 27 when we met and didn't have the self confidence I had despite having a brain like a planet.

@Robinni

There are no horrible kids at private schools?

Have you seen the tory Party?

I am so depressed now

Hey Paul the other one or three of mine went through private school and I quite regularly had the parents going oh fark 🤣
The ones with real money that is not the social climbers in the middle

We own a company dealing in conveyancing. We have a high turnover due to a great reputation. we plough profits back into the business, technology, IT support and looking after staff and retaining them, because we care about our staff and our clients. If we were ruthless we would cream it in and have earned £250,000 plus without investing into the people, IT and supporting our clients. We could be the 1% of high earners, but at the moment due to our ethos I'm doing the personal budget, looking for meal deals, have not bought clothing for months....we have not had a holiday in four years, occasionally we will go out for a meal and spend £75. For every staff member we employ means that we are supporting their family, so at the mo we are supporting 11 staff and their family, so it works out 40 people, Our company, is supporting 40 people. There is a major responsibly that we carry! We worried about what is happening in conveyancing the private equity companies who shaft the public with low cost quotes, but do addons and offer poor service The estate agents who obtain referral fees of £300 plus to refer clients to their pet conveyancer who employs unqualified staff and need every communication signed off by a manger. So yes you asked what do you high earners spend money on. For us it is staff and systems and fighting, battling those private equity trusts whose interests are not looking after the public, putting their interests first, gaining more market share.

I mean kids who think it is normal to swear, to kick, to hit, to generally be abusive, to not get on with their work, and to generally be horrible. That wouldn't be tolerated at all at a private school - because people are paying for top notch.

I remember a boy once said 'bloody hell', he lost his lunch break for a week and his parents were called.

😂😂😂 brilliant

Also going to a prep can give easy access into an associated grammar. So look for long term implications and where leavers of any school you're considering usually head off to for secondary level.

@Xenia

What would you have done if your kids didn't meet the 'IQ' criteria or had SEN

@Robinni

safer environment with overall better behaved children with fewer social problems

What do you mean by social problems?

I've heard private schools are awful for drugs, sexual harassment and bullying.

Parents at state schools get involved with the school and socialise too.

Well I’m glad it’s made your evening - but it’s a real concern, after all this time DH is having to face up to the fact he can’t in fact ride a bike - he was at boarding school since conception and he just never found the time between lessons on being posh and the ever popular “how to look down your nose at pauper plebs” class, not forgetting the extra curricular class on how to manage on only £1mill a year.

City, on this "Thank you. A question to you and all who pay private school fees. In what ways do you think it is much better than outstanding state schools? What is offered above and beyond state schools and do you think you get value for money? Asking as I didn't and go and my friends don't yet have children." -

I never really considered state schools as I and my siblings only ever went to fee paying schools from age 4 - 18 so I was just carrying that on. All the 9 cousins in fact on our side of the family are the same - fee paying schools 4 - 18, same next generation too so far although I would certainly leave it up to all mmy children how they choose to educate their children.

Much better in all kinds of ways but that will vary from family to family. Eg a very specific point for our family as I am a lawyer who has done a huge amount of classical singing (and indeed met my chidlren's fahter in a Cathedral - he is an organist) was the children having choirs in school from age 6 singing the kind of latin church music we like. obvously that is not somethingthat matters to most private school parents but I am just using the point to illustrate how much parents differ in what matters; also parents' choirs in the school and having other parents who sight sing well and enjoying being in that choir, high quality etc. Clearly all those things you can get outside a private school of course.

Clubs being in school so you do not have to be taking them to them out of school. Also before and after school clubs which are nicely run and part of the school (we both work full time).

i wanted single sex schooling from age 4 - 18 which we managed for all 5 children. That is quite hard to find in the state sector. Again many parents in both sectors would not like that but we did. I also wanted selective schooling by IQ in effect from age 4 or 5 to 18 so just about everyone in the school is likely to go to a very good university.

Very much got value for money in my children's fairly academic London day schools. I like having things like fields and lakes at school too and school chapels and old buildings and that kind of thing. I remembre to this day in my first school when I was very tiny being in the school choir and singing in the chapel. I also played the hymns at a daily Christian assembly almost eveyr day as a teenager which was useful practice for me at the piano. Just masses of things that were good and worth it. If you earn a lot remember that shcool fees are not crippling. I picked my career age 14 (London lawyer) because I wanted enough money to make choices like this.

Thanks for voicing just what I was thinking!

• smaller class sizes
• greater individual attention
• greater pastoral support
• more amenities affiliated with the school (own pool, sports ground, better playgrounds etc. etc.)
• greater variety and quality of extra curricular activities
• more up to date equipment and quantity of resources
• more consistent higher attainment over time
• greater school trip provision - skiing, major cities, wilderness excursions etc.
• a safer environment with overall better behaved children with fewer social problems
• less bullying for high-earner offspring on account of social status - everyone at a private school will be well off so an equal playing field and limited jealousy, although there are invariably one or two kids in mansions, with second homes, and a boat
• More social opportunities for the parents, and parents generally get involved and contribute to what goes on in the school
• What I've noted is that being in a prep school tends to band the children and their families together, many of them migrate to grammar together and 'new' children don't get much of a look in to these 'clubs' (high earning or not), the relationships stay and many of them provide employment opportunities to one another and/or intermarry and are then even more super wealthy.

@Citygirly

Clearly you have poor comprehension skills

lol thats funny coming from a lawyer who doesn't know what folk spend money on