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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this cake is inappropriate

181 replies

Shitfuckcommaetc · 13/05/2022 07:41

I don't understand, in what world, it's appropriate to make a cake (for a child's birthday!) showing the death of over 1500 people.

In 100 years time will we be making cakes of Grenfell tower?

To think this cake is inappropriate
OP posts:
Shitfuckcommaetc · 13/05/2022 10:12

Posted this morning on a FB site asking for someone to make a cake like the one pictured.

Also the cake in the picture clearly says "happy 5th birthday"

OP posts:
Peoplepissmeoff · 13/05/2022 10:07

My son is obsessed with Titanic and wanted a Titanic cake for his Birthday last year. It didn't happen in the end but if we'd gone ahead with it it wouldn't have been quite like the one pictured but the Titanic in tact which I don't think is as bad.

LoveSpringDaffs · 13/05/2022 10:05

TheBirdintheCave · 13/05/2022 09:31

Whole Titanic, sure, why not. Sinking Titanic? No, that's definitely bizarre.

I'm autistic and totally understand obsessions with things. My weird one is plane crashes. I love watching AirCrash Investigation. I wouldn't, however, ask for a cake made of a plane crash that would just be awful.

Also it's for a five year old? If it's in reference to the film then a five year old shouldn't be watching it anyway as it's rated a 12 so that in itself is really strange. My son is nearly two and I couldn't imagine him watching that movie in three years time. He got scared of Scrooge when we watched The Muppets Christmas Carol! 😅

Kids don't work like that though. A child I know LOVES documentary stuff about dinosaurs, things that look like real dinosaurs and sharks, no matter how gory! He cries watching a kids cartoon about dinosaurs (dinosaur train I think it's called).

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/05/2022 10:03

Yep, awful.
a local pub had a bouncy castle of the upended ship. Was glad to see it taken down within a day.

Elsiebear90 · 13/05/2022 10:01

I remember the Titanic movie came out when I was at primary school and loads of kids including myself were obsessed with it, bit random for a five year old nowadays to be into it though. I think having a cake of the Titanic is fine, but depicting it sinking is in poor taste and a strange choice for a five year old.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 13/05/2022 10:00

fluffycereal · 13/05/2022 09:36

Tbh I think it's really weird and they 'autism mums' who think it's acceptable because it is their child's special interest are letting their autistic children down. It's perfectly acceptable to tell a child, any child, that they cannot have a particular cake. Feeding into the glamorisation of death because a child is autistic is bloody batshit.

"Autism mums"

Are you having a laugh????

Ffs.

skgnome · 13/05/2022 09:51

It’s an oddly specific theme for a 5 year old party… but hey, 5 year olds are oddly specific
out of context yes it’s an odd cake… although extremely skilled cake maker!
the titanic has been romanticised - blame Hollywood if you need… but if my 5year old had been invited to a kids titanic party I would have just assumed kids learned about it at school and would have admitted the craftsmanship

MagicDoorBell · 13/05/2022 09:51

The cake looks ace but the idea is tasteless (sorry).

fluffycereal · 13/05/2022 09:36

Tbh I think it's really weird and they 'autism mums' who think it's acceptable because it is their child's special interest are letting their autistic children down. It's perfectly acceptable to tell a child, any child, that they cannot have a particular cake. Feeding into the glamorisation of death because a child is autistic is bloody batshit.

ShandaLear · 13/05/2022 09:36

I have always been really uncomfortable with the Titanic tragedy becoming a vehicle for our entertainment and titillation. It feels trite and disrespectful. think it’s important that we respect its memory and the memory of the people who died on it. I’m not suggesting we ignore it - it is important to learn from it and to understand the impact of its loss on families and the industry. Your comparison with the tragedy at Grendel is perhaps clumsily made, but has accuracy nonetheless.

roarfeckingroarr · 13/05/2022 09:35

NightmareSlashDelightful · 13/05/2022 07:45

I don't disagree but your remark about Grenfell is really tactless OP (I'm a friend of someone who died there)

Why? It's a decent comparison. Many people died due to mismanagement, mostly working class people,

TheBirdintheCave · 13/05/2022 09:31

Whole Titanic, sure, why not. Sinking Titanic? No, that's definitely bizarre.

I'm autistic and totally understand obsessions with things. My weird one is plane crashes. I love watching AirCrash Investigation. I wouldn't, however, ask for a cake made of a plane crash that would just be awful.

Also it's for a five year old? If it's in reference to the film then a five year old shouldn't be watching it anyway as it's rated a 12 so that in itself is really strange. My son is nearly two and I couldn't imagine him watching that movie in three years time. He got scared of Scrooge when we watched The Muppets Christmas Carol! 😅

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 13/05/2022 09:29

Currently we watch with a degree of excitement Russian tanks be blown up in Ukraine

Jesus Christ. For most of us it's horror, not excitement.

SoupDragon · 13/05/2022 09:23

Currently we watch with a degree of excitement Russian tanks be blown up in Ukraine

speak for yourself.

Backtomyoldname · 13/05/2022 09:22

A friend of my daughter has a tattoo of the Titanic on her calf. Quite detailed but weird.

The disaster and loss of life seems to have been softened and romanticised over the years.

There seem to be different time spans for ‘acceptability’ (which will differ from event to event, person to person)

Currently we watch with a degree of excitement Russian tanks be blown up in Ukraine - without realising that there are 4 young men inside each one - who probably didn’t want to be there. Good that some attackers are being repelled - but is it right that the video clips are shown in a sanitised almost gleeful way?

oioimatey · 13/05/2022 09:18

I think it's an incredible cake. I used to draw and paint this scene tonnes when I was 9. If I went to a party I'd probably think "what an interesting choice", but it wouldn't bother me.

bruffin · 13/05/2022 09:14

ElenaSt · 13/05/2022 08:53

I have met several adults who have stated they didn't know the film and as based on actual events. Even when told their eyes glazed over at the thought of real people having suffered and died and returned their thoughts to the romantic notions of the film.

When the film came out i remember a radio interview with an old lady who was a 2 year old on the titanic and her father died.
The interviewer asked if she would be watching the film.
She said "oh no because i would see my daddy dying"
The interviewing went silent and you could tell it had hit him that it was about real people!

MyneighbourisTotoro · 13/05/2022 09:08

I have autism so maybe that changes my view on things but I wouldn’t see the issue with this cake, yes it was tragic and heartbreaking but it’s a part of history now, people, especially kids, find it fascinating and no one would be celebrating anyones deaths with this cake, the child may have even specifically requested to have it like this.
I do understand why some people would find it distasteful though.

trebaco · 13/05/2022 09:05

NightmareSlashDelightful · 13/05/2022 08:22

OK. Maybe I'm being oversensitive about the OP's example. I get the point that she's making; it's the remark I find distasteful. There was no need to bring Grenfell into it and it just feels a bit raw, you know? It sort of felt like you were making a joke about it.

But I'm also aware I've got a direct perspective on this, which not everyone will have, and it's risking derailing the thread. So I'll bow out now.

But it wasn't a joke. OPs point was that tragedy shouldn't be made into a cake. She used the Grenfell Tower but equally could have said 9/11, Chernobyl.

CockleburIck · 13/05/2022 09:05

It clearly says 5th Birthday on the cake

Fair enough so it does... not that clearly though! I doubt very much this cake has anything to do with OP or anyone she knows, though... as I said, it's from a bakery site and posted more than 3 years ago.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 13/05/2022 09:04

That is an odd choice for a child.

My titanic/seafaring/boat obsessed sister would love it though!

trebaco · 13/05/2022 09:03

SunshineAndFizz · 13/05/2022 08:56

@Shitfuckcommaetc haha you've been totally busted.

As PP said this is from a random bakery site from 3 years ago.

Talk about stirring it up for no reason. If your aim was to upset people about Grenfell, congrats you've done it. Great use of your time.

She didn't say it's something she's seen in person recently. It's ok to be shocked by something you come across online too.

inappropriateraspberry · 13/05/2022 09:00

CockleburIck · 13/05/2022 08:39

This exact picture is from a baking site, posted about 3 years ago online. Not sure why you're posting about it on here now.

It also doesn't say anything about it being for a child.

It clearly says 5th Birthday on the cake.

parietal · 13/05/2022 08:56

If the cake had the ship whole and had a connection to the film (little figures on the bow!) that would be fine. But this is a bit odd

SunshineAndFizz · 13/05/2022 08:56

@Shitfuckcommaetc haha you've been totally busted.

As PP said this is from a random bakery site from 3 years ago.

Talk about stirring it up for no reason. If your aim was to upset people about Grenfell, congrats you've done it. Great use of your time.

To think this cake is inappropriate