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Original poster

Don't want ex's new girlfriend around my daughter

35 replies

Thatnightmsreex · 11/05/2022 22:24

So I'm probably being unreasonable but here it is.
me and my ex have a toddler daughter together. We're no longer together but get on really well and coparent our daughter.

hes recently started dating someone and it's getting serious. He's had other girlfriends before, but none were serious and none met our daughter.

the new gf also has a daughter but a few years older than mine if that's at all relevant.
also probably relevant, I do not like the new girlfriend. She's not an awful person but there's been a couple passive agressive comments here and there, and I get the impression she is really not happy about me and ex still being very friendly.

it's getting to the stage where he wants to introduce our daughter to the new girlfriend and I just don't want that. I have no real reason other than I don't like this woman and I don't want her in my daughters life but I also know that isn't really down to me. But my daughter is my world and I don't want this woman around her.

OP posts:
Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/05/2022 22:45

Honestly find something else to do with your time than to worry about this. Its not really your business and there’s nothing you can do if he wants to introduce his daughter and girlfriend.

im not sure why you even care that she’s been frosty with you.

you are making assumptions that she thinks this and that about you with zero evidence.

it sounds like you are the jealous one tbh

Original poster
Thatnightmsreex · 11/05/2022 22:44

So she's told him she's threatened by how close we are / how much time we spend together so it's not completely in my head 😂

we are still close and I do care for him a lot. We have had conversations about getting back together but that's not what I wanted. But maybe I also selfishly didn't want anything to change from us getting along very well as single people

OP posts:
Shelby2010 · 11/05/2022 22:44

You need to play the longer game - never say anything remotely negative about her to your ex. Ask after her nicely at drop off / pick up. If she’s jealous about your co-parenting relationship, she may start trying to stir trouble, life will be easier if it’s obviously only coming from her.

Fullsomefrenchie · 11/05/2022 22:40

Thatnightmsreex · 11/05/2022 22:38

I've met her briefly a couple of times, it was very frosty. I can understand why she wouldn't like me, I wouldn't want to date someone who was still close with their ex but I know I feel that way and just wouldn't get involved. She knew the situation from the start so it's not like it's been sprung on her, she knew what she was getting into and made the decision to pursue the relationship. I don't think I should be on the receiving end of her insecurity though.
I guess I'm just feeling uncomfortable with the thought of someone who so clearly dislikes me around my child and also feeling very protective of my daughter.
but it's true, I don't get to decide. It's shit

Oh op, you’re not over him are you? He’s with her now honey, you need to accept it, she’s not insecure, he doesn’t want to be with you, as a pp said you don’t need to like her, all you need to do is accept he is serious about her now, you can’t stop it and it’s best for you if you try to accept it

how long ago did it end?

Original poster
Thatnightmsreex · 11/05/2022 22:38

I've met her briefly a couple of times, it was very frosty. I can understand why she wouldn't like me, I wouldn't want to date someone who was still close with their ex but I know I feel that way and just wouldn't get involved. She knew the situation from the start so it's not like it's been sprung on her, she knew what she was getting into and made the decision to pursue the relationship. I don't think I should be on the receiving end of her insecurity though.
I guess I'm just feeling uncomfortable with the thought of someone who so clearly dislikes me around my child and also feeling very protective of my daughter.
but it's true, I don't get to decide. It's shit

OP posts:
Rosebuud · 11/05/2022 22:38

Are you jealous because it’s serious now? You can’t stop this I’m sorry, and it won’t stop their relationship if you try to stop her seeing your child. It’s in your and your child’s best interests to try to accept he’s moved on properly now and she will be in her life, I’m sorry, it was always going to happen.

quietnightmare · 11/05/2022 22:37

In the kindest way ... tough. What can you do ? Make your ex choose? You might not like the answer. Perhaps look to yourself and ask why are you bothered ? Sounds like your not quite over him. Being amicable is the best option. Good luck

Zemw · 11/05/2022 22:34

It's shit, hard and annoying but you don't get a say.

Trafficjamlog · 11/05/2022 22:32

Have you met her? I can see that it may be awkward for her to have you being so friendly with you ex. Ultimately you don’t get a choice. So long as she’s kind to your daughter that’s all you can ask, it’s irrelevant whether you like her or not and you can’t decide who does or doesn’t meeT I’m afraid

TeaAndBrie · 11/05/2022 22:31

I mean this as politely as possible but it really isn’t something that you get to decide. If you trust him to go parent then you trust him to make decisions whilst DD is in his care.
You don’t have to like the new girlfriend, you don’t need to be friends with her or anything.