Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sad at going grey already

137 replies

AHungryCaterpillar · 18/04/2022 12:55

I’m so depressed about going grey at 33! I’ve found loads of grey hairs, I’m only early 30s surely this is too early? I already feel really old and past it anyway so this has just made me feel worse, I’m not ready to embrace them and don’t now want to spend the rest of my life dying my hair at 33. Doesn’t help that I’m allergic to hair dye so now what am I suppose to do. Aibu to think 33 is too early for this?! 😳

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Aiyyaz316 · 28/06/2025 22:57

There a hair hair pigmentation peptide for greying out going to available soon, company called cogien pharma are working closely with the University of Bradford. There's hope reached out to me

stripeyflowers · 19/04/2022 09:35

The thing is that no one ever feels ready for a new sign of ageing. When you see crow's feet, jowls, scraggy neck, bat wings, a new line on your face etc. you usually always think 'I'm not ready for this!' especially in the first stage of ageing. Things just sort of creep upon you. I remember distinctly the first time I noticed my neck - literally it seemed to happen all at once - one minute I had a young neck and the next I look in the mirror and think when did that happen?

After 50+ ish you get used to the fact that signs of ageing seem to appear thick and fast and can come literally overnight. Illness, stress, lifestyle. diet and weight loss wreak more havoc the older you are. You can look five/ten years younger than your age most of your life then suddenly - you don't.

Years ago there was a comedy programme and the woman in it described ageing with something like "It's like a house - you just about manage to save the walls and the roof caves in."

100% true.

TheOriginalEmu · 19/04/2022 04:30

@AProperStinging I wasn’t very clear, I meant that if you are dark and going grey it’s more noticeable sooner than if you are fair to begin with. I didn’t mean being dark makes you more likely to be grey.

Saracen · 19/04/2022 00:28

I guess it depends where you live and who you mix with. I have only known a handful of women under 30 with a significant amount of grey hair, but absolutely loads in their 30s. The majority of 40-somethings I know have plenty of grey showing.

My grey started accelerating through my 30s and I loved how it looked. Not so much now I am almost entirely grey, but I still prefer my current colour to being all brunette like when I was younger.

I think grey/greying hair on young people is particularly striking.

secular39 · 18/04/2022 22:32

Stress?

AProperStinging · 18/04/2022 22:23

@TheOriginalEmu

At 33 I was probably 50% grey. At 41 I’m about 60% If you’re dark it shows up sooner
I don't think it's as simple as this. I'm 42 and my hair is jet black and only ever had about 5 grey hairs.
Snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs · 18/04/2022 22:22

I don't think you need to panic yet OP, I'm the same age as you and spotted the 1st greys at 28, I haven't dyed my hair since my teens so 5 years on and I'm mostly still a medium brown, I'm not sure how dark a brunette you are but if it's light to medium, I'd say you still have a few years before feel like it needs something else.

SoItWas · 18/04/2022 21:51

"I’m yet to see any woman under about 50 with grey hair?"

I'm 30 and my hair is it's natural colour now (brown with tons of grey)

GarlandsinGreece · 18/04/2022 21:44

I’m 44 and about 80 percent grey. I look young for my age, so don’t want to stop coloring my hair.

Have you looked into a salon that has Organic Color Systems or Oway dye? Both are the best natural dyes you can get, with negligible PPD. Alternatively, if you aren’t very grey yet, you could put some highlights in to have everything blend, rather than just doing a base color.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 18/04/2022 21:40

[quote MurmuratingStarling]@AHungryCaterpillar

Yes I find it interesting how many women on this thread apparently embrace their grey and never dye it but I’m yet to see any woman under about 50 with grey hair? Certainly no one I know friends/ family anyone I see around...

Remember this is the parallel world of mumsnet. Like you, I NEVER see women under 50 with grey hair, yet on here you could be lead to believe that half the women under 50 with their hair going grey, never dye it. Of COURSE they do, and that is why you never see women under 50 with grey hair. Wink

There's a reason for that. It IS ageing, (yes it really is!) and it looks worse on women under 50 than on men. Sad but true. A man can get away with a shock of salt and pepper hair at 35. A woman cannot.

I know it doesn't suit people on here to hear that, but that's how it is, and it is not 'bollocks.'

As the OP said, in real life women NEVER have grey hair in their 20s or 30s, and very few have in their 40s. It's both hilarious and ludicrous that it's being denied on here.[/quote]
Utter bullshit. How dare you suggest real people don’t exist.

They do exist.

It’s not ageing.

It doesn’t suit me to read YOUR bollocks. Your ignorance is the only hilarious and ludicrous thing here. Why not post a picture of yourself so we can deny your existence?

ImAvingOops · 18/04/2022 21:32

@User48751490

Dyed hair is so last century.
It clearly isn't, since most women aren't grey and therefore must be dying their hair.

If I'm honest I think that to carry off grey, a person needs to have a really good haircut and put thought into their whole look generally, because it's not a look which is good without effort imo

NotaParishCouncillor · 18/04/2022 21:31

I'm 32 and have been going grey since mid-teens. I couldn't be bothered with the whole dying & maintenance stuff so I just leave it. Mine is quite evenly spread through my hair which is very dark, so much so I've been asked a number of times where I get my highlights.

To be sad at going grey already
PrincessSpanky · 18/04/2022 21:27

On my wedding day my hairdresser pulled out 9 grey hairs. I was 23.

I have a lot now in my late 30's, they have multiplied like crazy in the last years.

Bunnyfuller · 18/04/2022 21:25

My first grey was at 25. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking ‘wow, that’s white blonde!’. Yeah, scratch the blonde, just fucking white.

I’m 55 this year, obviously much more white but I’m rebelling and have foxy badgery blonde red caramel streaks. I think condition is more important than colour - greys can go shitty texture so give your hair tlc, any colour is good when it’s glossy.

I’d like to say I was more accepting of the menopause…🙈

PanicPrevention · 18/04/2022 21:15

"As the OP said, in real life women NEVER have grey hair in their 20s or 30s, and very few have in their 40s. It's both hilarious and ludicrous that it's being denied on here."
Don't be ridiculous.
I'm 35 and have grey hair so your assertion that women NEVER have grey hair in their 30s is plainly false.
I started going grey at 15, dyed it mostly for fun and to make it shiny rather than to cover the grey but eventually my roots were showing after 2weeks and it looks better grey all over than with roots.
I get more compliments about my hair after growing it out then I ever did before even when I paid silly money for highlights.
I will never dye my hair again, men dont bother with the time money mess and smell so neither will I.

woodhill · 18/04/2022 20:49

More celebrities seem to be appearing grey now which helps to normalise it

User48751490 · 18/04/2022 20:46

Dyed hair is so last century.

MrsDooDaa · 18/04/2022 20:44

@grey12 you look amazing - the grey streaks are a very modern look.

I too am embracing my sparkly grey and love it.

I suspect the grey trend will continue and the naysayers will be following suit in a few years.
IMO the dyed brown look is dated.

User48751490 · 18/04/2022 20:02

@MurmuratingStarling

Sorry *@grey12* but I would have said you were older than 36. Mid 40s I would have said.
That is BS. She looks like she's early 30s. Please get yourself booked in for an eye test.
Idyllically · 18/04/2022 19:57

It depends where you live. Far more in London than elsewhere, far fewer in a city like Liverpool where women tend to go for more obviously glamorous looks.

100% agree with this! I know plenty of women in their late-30s/ 40s who have embraced their grey. But I live in east London. Where I grew up - somewhere fairly similar to Liverpool where people like to glam up - I never see anyone with grey hair, it’s all dyed away.

The OP really doesn’t like her greys though, so she should seek out a specialist dye she can use to hide it like other women who aren’t keen on their greys do. Nothing wrong with that - it’s hard to shake off what we’ve been socially conditioned to think!!!

Idyllically · 18/04/2022 19:53

@grey12

(I don't wear makeup and was trying a Elsa braid to show my kids 😅)

Obviously don't look as fabulous as PP.... but I think I still look like I'm 36 🤷🏻‍♀️ or maybe I'm totally deluded? Let me know

You look fantastic! And agree you look younger than 36.
CP191989 · 18/04/2022 18:31

Have you spoken to a hairdresser? My friend has special dye ordered in because she’s allergic to box dyes and the stuff they use in the hairdressers normally.
I’m 32 and have greys it doesn’t bother me but if your not happy speak to them and see what they can do

Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 18:06

@MurmuratingStarling

And *@grey12* it IS the greying that is a bit ageing on you.
It isn’t. Don’t be so ridiculous. She’s absolutely beautiful. Look at that clear, unwrinkled skin and fabulous bone structure. She looks amazing.
Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 18:04

And I re-iterate, very VERY few women under 50 IN REAL LIFE have grey hair!

It depends where you live. Far more in London than elsewhere, far fewer in a city like Liverpool where women tend to go for more obviously glamorous looks.

And, no @MurmuratingStarling, it isn’t automatically ageing. Two brave women have posted their pictures here as clear evidence it isn’t the case.

LouiseTrees · 18/04/2022 18:03

I’m your age and have been dying a white root for years! One of my aunts got a skunk stripe at 14! The reason you probably don’t notice anyone with greys probably is because they started dying it years ago.

Swipe left for the next trending thread