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Original poster

AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

333 replies

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 07/04/2022 20:05

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 08/04/2022 07:40

I was convinced that 2 year old DS1 was an artistic genius ap had some of his "paintings" professionally framed in a collage thing.

I cringe at what the framer must've thought...

mistermagpie · 08/04/2022 07:06

When my PFB went to his grandparents for the day the first time (think he was about 8 months) I typed out three pages of 'instructions' on how to look after him, his routine, likes and dislikes, everything. PILs must have thought I was absolutely bonkers! They have successfully raised FOUR children of their own and I was telling them how to change a nappy...

That PFB is six now and has been staying with the PILs for the last three days, I sent spare clothes and a toothbrush with him and told him to have a good time, so thankfully my marbles did return.

By my third child I was very much over the PFB nonsense!

Florencenotflo · 08/04/2022 07:00

@Nitfluxa friend of mine and her husband are doing this. Baby is 8 weeks old and I have tried to suggest gently that they don't need to be awake all night. But they get very defensive about it. But they are completely shattered! It's dc2 as well, they did it with number 1 until they were 6 months Confused

Member589500 · 08/04/2022 06:53

I read that it was good for babies to see clear contrasting shapes to help focus their eyes and stimulate their brains so made a series of black and white postcards of bold geometric shapes which I taped all around her eyeline in her pram and cot 😁.
Oh and yes of course I regularly woke both of us up by setting an alarm and nudging her to check for proof of life. She breathed too quietly for my liking.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/04/2022 06:46

PFB didn't believe in sleep. One sure way to get to have an afternoon nap was a walk in the pram. So I would take her out, whatever the weather, for an hour. (She woul wake if we hot within 50m of the front door)

Looking back, pounding the streets for anhour in torrential rain somedays probably wasn't the best for me... but if she didn't have that nap, she wouldn't sleep at night...

ricketybeauty · 08/04/2022 06:28

I wasn’t too PFB possibly because I was so anxious in pregnancy I used it all up, but I did always used to feel bad if I turned over in bed and my back was to the Moses basket at the side of me!

pinkstripeycat · 08/04/2022 06:24

DS2 was a PFB all by himself. He actually had a go at me when he was a toddler for making the pram bump along the path!
With DS1 I had his pram facing me so he didn’t breath in so many car fumes

TakeMe2Insanity · 08/04/2022 06:20

I would be asleep and randomly ie constantly wake DH up at night to ask where the baby was…in the crib next to me but I was facing the other way so would be in a panic 😳🤣

TakeMe2Insanity · 08/04/2022 06:17

@SouperNoodle

I emailed CBeebies and asked them to stop showing Bot and the Beasties as my PFB was scared of it 😂
😂😂😂
sashh · 08/04/2022 05:41

@Aaaabbbcccc

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.
You win the thread.

Please tell me you printed it out and it hangs in a frame on your wall.

wtfwasthatmate · 08/04/2022 05:14

I was very concerned my DS would suffer shaken baby syndrome if the pram was too bumpy.

I also hit my elbow a number of times against a wall to check how hard it was as he once knocked his head on it.

sweetbellyhigh · 08/04/2022 04:12

Crawled in and out of baby's room to check on her sleeping in her cot to ensure I wouldn't disturb her by walking in

LaNozzeDiFigaro · 08/04/2022 03:38

I refused to share a changing mat when DD was teeny and my friend had an equally teeny baby because of "the poo particles" that could affect her immune system. I used my travel one which I think was still in the car so a hassle and my friend still thinks I'm crazy.

tolerable · 08/04/2022 03:37

actual screamed "shoot me,save the baby" then blackt out
...for dramatic effect.
in hozi(ds1=26) he sneezed. i buzz buzz buzzed the nurse buzzer n said..."it sneezed"(popular as ever aye)
was pre-ev one has mobile phone/we didni even have a landline.
id already barred my ma "unless invited//ano,i was horrible//)pramed "it"to nearest payphone... n said.."ma,see how babys wear hats?is it ...like..all the time?even in their own house"

RainbowCrayons · 08/04/2022 03:32

We also had a random faulty fire alarm that kept going off in our flat and I remember strapping DS into his car seat and lugging him down 5 floors (about 4 weeks after giving birth) because I thought he might be joggled too much in my arms or I would drop him on the stairs.

RainbowCrayons · 08/04/2022 03:30

I had forgotten about being utterly convinced going over cobbles in the pram would cause brain damage.. We had cobbles near our house that we couldn't really avoid so for the first 2 trips out we had to take the bassinet off the pram and walk with it to the end of the cobbles and DH had to go back for the base. I was also too scared to take DS out of the bassinet to carry him because I had been warned so many times to be careful of lifting him in hospital. I only now realise they probably meant to be careful for me post-birth, not for him but I was utterly convinced they were worried about me dropping him and I carried him around like he was made of glass and only really did cuddles when sitting down.

Superhanz · 08/04/2022 02:23

@AliasGrape

I remember reading one of the other PFN threads when DD was about 6 months or something and getting upset/ worrying I wasn’t a good enough mum because Id never thought to squirt shampoo in my own eye or get under the pram rain cover to check it really was waterproof so clearly wasn’t PFB enough.

Which now I’m a little bit out of the fog I can see is a whole PFB moment all of its own.

I definitely remember feeling sorry for the other mums that their babies were all slightly rubbish compared to mine.

And I know I was slightly smug (only every inwardly) at how I’d got weaning right and my baby ate so well including a wide range of vegetables. I actually made a video montage of the initial two weeks of ‘first tastes’ veg led weaning AND SHARED IT WITH PEOPLE AS IF THEY’D CARE. Getting on for 2 now and the list of food she will no longer tolerate in her presence let alone put in her mouth gets longer every day, so I’m definitely getting my comeuppance there!

I'm literally reading this thread and thinking the same thing 😳
MrsPetty · 08/04/2022 02:21

Refusing to allow the blinds to be open in our hospital room for days in case it hurt her eyes. Refusing to let them give her a vitamin K shot and insisting on drops instead. The list is endless …. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Superhanz · 08/04/2022 02:18

@Flittingaboutagain

Me and my husband were both off work when our baby was born so we did the night in shifts to make sure one of us was awake at all times. We did this for 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS, people. Seems absolutely mental now and was obviously totally unnecessary 😂

^ I wish it had been unnecessary here. Baby was prem and with a respiratory condition so we had to take it turns for months! Thankfully getting better now so we're catching up

Mine was covering her eyes with my hand whilst telling my husband to turn off the news that was on for 10 seconds because I intend to follow the WHO and not let her watch TV until two. Still do, but those few seconds were massive over reaction and she was trying to peer round my hands wondering what the fuck Grin

Fair play to you, but I'd never get anything done I'd I didn't plonk my daughter in front of the TV every now and again.
Goldbar · 08/04/2022 01:51

In some ways I was quite relaxed. I never warmed a single bottle. DC mostly breastfed but any expressed milk/formula was straight from the fridge, which everyone found odd. DC still likes their milk cold! DC was born with relatively good head control so I was always a bit terrified of holding other people's babies as they were quite floppy in comparison and I didn't want to hurt them.

One moment I can think of is reading the Gingerbread Man, which was a favourite when DC was about 3, and skipping over the bit where the fox eats the gingerbread man in case DC was emotionally damaged. It turned out that DH did not skip over that bit when he read the book and our DC found it very funny Grin.

Ludoole · 08/04/2022 01:28

I wouldn't change my ds1 on the changing mat on the floor because I thought someone would stand on his head. Who I thought would, I can't imagine as most days it was just me and ds in the house.

Fleur405 · 08/04/2022 01:22

@crumpet

There was a very good thread about this years ago, which might be in classics. One which I remember was a poster who did a practice flight from somewhere like London to Manchester in advance of PFB’s first holiday 😄
Truly amazing! 😂
babywalker56 · 08/04/2022 01:05

@SouperNoodle

I emailed CBeebies and asked them to stop showing Bot and the Beasties as my PFB was scared of it 😂
😂
SummerDays2020 · 08/04/2022 00:53

Not allowing a tiny bit of sun on my PFB as a baby. I would cross over to the non- sunny side of the street and faff with the sun shade constantly. I was scared he would have super sensitive to sun skin like his dad but luckily he (and his sister) doesn't.
When PFB was a toddler we went over for lunch to a mum's from toddler group. She made the toddlers sandwiches, veg sticks and a small handful of Quavers on each plate. I had never given my PFB crisps - I quickly ate them myself when she wasn't looking! Blush
At PFB's 3rd birthday I made frozen plain Greek yogurt like I made for him instead of ice cream. None of the other kids liked it!!

indecis · 08/04/2022 00:48

@NeverChange

When my friend had her first child she was very very protective.

She was exhausted too and I had offered to mine the child one Saturday morning when her husband was away so she could sleep.

The night before she proceeded to send me the biggest list of things to remember before I came over to ensure I didn't harm the baby.

I can't remember it all but some of the things of the list include wearing sensible shoes so I wouldn't fall with the baby in my arms, no jeans as they were too rough for baby's skin, no perfume, no nail varnish, tie my hair up and to make sure I put my phone on silence so not to disturb the child and to make sure I was on time,not to ring the door bell or knock on the door!!!!

She wasn't joking!

I look back and cringe but apart from the jeans and shoes I'd probably have said similar 😳😳 especially perfume, which I asked people not to wear and didn't wear myself for a full year 😂
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