AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

I read that babies should wear one more layer than you. I asked my midwife if my bra plus maternity jeans that came up to my bra band counted as a layer.

Ermm..

Doing a breastfeeding diary in the first month. Writing down every feed (there were lots!} and the duration and proudly showing my midwife..
who politely said 'thats brilliant heartshapedeyes, you are doing a great job, but you really don't need to write it all down like that'

The most embarassing one was probably when dd was about 5 months old, she had just started sitting up on her own unaided but on this occasion, she rolled over and bumped her head on the wooden floor in our living room, she started crying, I comforted her, panicked abit & decided I wanted to see how hard she had hit her head, so I got on the ground and bashed my head against the floor in a similar fashion to how dd did it. DD didn't even cry for long and there was no bump on her head and I was glad nobody else was around to witness my head floor banging.

Crying while I chipped off vivid yellowy-green, 'infected' 🙄 cradle cap from my son.

Smelling it.

Crying more because it smelt rancid.

Guiltily recalling that I'd eaten a (barely warm, btw) curry Pot Noodle the night before, while breastfeeding.

When DS was born he was a very tiny 4lb baby and when we left SCBU they advised us to get a movement sensor thing for under the mattress of his Moses basket. When DS was 3 months old he outgrew the Moses basket and went into his proper cot in our bedroom. DH insisted we still use the sensor monitor in the cot.

Shortly after DS had gone into his cot I had to go away overnight for a Brownie pack holiday (I was a Brown Owl). In the middle of the night everyone was woken up by two police officers knocking on the door of the barn where we were staying. They informed me that my DH had been trying to contact me (my mobile had run out of charge and I hadn't realised) and could I contact him urgently about my DS. I used someone else's phone and my DH was beside himself. The movement sensor thing in DS's cot had gone off as DS must have wriggled off it in his sleep. DH had panicked and rushed DS to A&E where DS was declared to be fit and well. DP however was in pieces so I had to leave my Pack Holiday for the morning to go and sort out my traumatised DH (who was a 6'2 police officer on the Major Crime Unit at the time 🤣) and I returned to my Pack Holiday a few hours later with both DH and DS in tow!

My DS is 22 now and my DH still cringes when I tell someone that story.

midwife turned up at 9am while we were all still sleeping and rollicked me for having the curtains shut because baby needed the light for vit D and to shift very slight jaundice.

Window glass blocks UVB rays (the ones that create 7-dehydrocholesterol and thus vitamin D via your skin) so that was incorrect of her and more than a bit unkind.

My hv told me part of her role was to make sure I spoke to my baby enough for him to develop speech. I was so affronted I read him the Iliad and the Odyssey febore he was six weeks old. To be fair he did take a first in Classics!

Too many to list, but probably most of the above.

I'm still a bit PFBish about PFB, and he's 20.

I was getting some bits out of the fridge to make lunch, toddler DD stood right underneath me as they do. Hands full of stuff I dropped the cucumber and it landed right on DD face. DD cried, I was mortified and spent a considerable amount of time after checking DD hitting myself in the face with said cucumber to see how much it hurt.....

Needless to say DD cried for about a nanosecond and was absolutely fine, nothing wrong with her at all, probably wondering why Mummy was hitting herself in the face with her lunch...

So many...

I remember DH went to put DC1 into a little seat he had and somehow lost his grip. DC1 toppled forward a few inches (literally) and landed face down onto the carpet. He was absolutely fine but DH and I were hysterical and phoned the hospital to see if we should bring him in for a head scan.

I used to record every breast feed, including the time, length of feed and side he was fed on.

DH used to insist that we had to put down kitchen towel on the changing mat when we were changing DC1's nappy - the kitchen towel had to be folded a certain way so that if he weed it could be torn off easily.

No sweets until about 2 and then it was one chocolate button a day.

These are the ones I can remember - he's 25 this year and seems to have emerged from our madness remarkably unscathed. . Thankfully we weren't nearly as crazy with DC2 and DC3 is pretty much raising himself.

I remember sitting on the edge of the bath with DS. I realised I might fall back and hit my head and he would then drown. So I decided that if I fell I would drop him on to the towel in the floor. I would still drown but he wouldn't. I then cried as he would be motherless. DH told me to sit somewhere else would be a better solution all round.

@Summersdreaming

I took dd back to hospital because she refused one bottle. In my defence she had been admitted from birth for 3 months and it was our first day at home the nurses had just made a big fuss of us leaving 2 hours earlier so were a bit bemused when I rocked back up

Not PFB just tiredness when I got my dad to come and babysit dd age 2 who was napping upstairs whilst I nipped out. I got home and he said the baby monitor hadn't made a peep.. which is when I realised dd was actually at nursery and he'd babysat an empty house 🤣

I think so many PFB moments are related to tiredness, if not directly just the tiredness affecting our judgement.

It’s such a base mammal thing for us to want our young to smell of us / the way they should. It’s kind of amazing really.

I wrote a 5 page handover note for my mother to look after my baby. It is hilarious looking back. By number 3 it was a verbal - bottle at 11 1 and 5. Nap around lunch

I went to a&e for things that would have barely fazed me by my third child.

I took dd back to hospital because she refused one bottle. In my defence she had been admitted from birth for 3 months and it was our first day at home the nurses had just made a big fuss of us leaving 2 hours earlier so were a bit bemused when I rocked back up

Not PFB just tiredness when I got my dad to come and babysit dd age 2 who was napping upstairs whilst I nipped out. I got home and he said the baby monitor hadn't made a peep.. which is when I realised dd was actually at nursery and he'd babysat an empty house 🤣

I didn't let DD1 have any sweets, chocolate or cake until she was about 2.5 or 3 yes. Now she is 20 and a total chocoholic and a demon cake baker.

@indecis

“can't remember it all but some of the things of the list include wearing sensible shoes so I wouldn't fall with the baby in my arms, no jeans as they were too rough for baby's skin, no perfume, no nail varnish, tie my hair up and to make sure I put my phone on silence so not to disturb the child and to make sure I was on time,not to ring the door bell or knock on the door!!!!

She wasn't joking!

I look back and cringe but apart from the jeans and shoes I'd probably have said similar 😳😳 especially perfume, which I asked people not to wear and didn't wear myself for a full year 😂“

Why no nail varnish?
Why hair tied up?

mumsiedarlingrevolta the baby is 17!!
She generally wears far less than me while going out these days

My PFB was born in a London heatwave, ie hot for London but not exactly Bangkok. I bought a portable air conditioner and kept the room so cold my DH couldn't sleep. (I didn't sleep anyway obviously, I had to keep watching him all the time...).

how old is said baby now???

We were gifted a room thermometer and used to panic if the temperature of the room wasn't perfect for PFB.

I was much more relaxed when DS came along 2 years later.

When I left my PFB overnight with my parents for the first time, he was about 10 months I suppose and Mum asked me to note down his routine, to give her a steer on naps etc. I left a set of instructions so detailed, they included things like ,"Fill the bath to about 3 inches; sit him at the far end, facing the taps; let him play with the measuring cups and the squirty dinosaur, in that order; After bath time, sit on the right hand side of the sofa, and hold him on your lap facing forwards, so he can watch In The Night Garden". I think I was hoping if everything was familiar in every detail he wouldn't miss me.
I've kept the schedule in the flap of his "first year" book, and it's both mortifying to see how prescriptive I was, and quite nice to have that record of how our days were.

I think my Mum thought I was bonkers, but she understood, and followed it all to the letter, bless her.